Final Fantasy VII: Snowboarding Race

The Context: At the start of the second disc, Cloud and his posse are introduced to the cold climates of the Great Glacier. Up until this point this band of adventurers had fled a city, battled way too many random monsters and had a moment at the Gold Saucer. But now they've traveled to the Icicle Inn, where they have a chance to search out and find a snowboard. As wacky as it sounds, it's time to push Cloud to the limit and shred the hill, bro. Once this out of place object has been obtained, our spikey-haired hero can return to the Gold Saucer to race against the clock. I'm sure Sephiroth can wait.

The Rules: In this curious bonus level, players are asked to speed to the bottom of a snowy mountain using only a snowboard and an effeminate hero with one set of ugly clothes. Even with the twists and turns, this isn't a difficult bonus level. Gravity pulls Cloud down the hill, so it's up to the player to steer him away from obstacles and around tight corners. The game keeps track of the best runs, which makes it easy to compare scores with other Final Fantasy VII fanatics.

The Verdict: It's not often that an insignificant bonus level gets turned into a full game, but that's exactly what happened with Final Fantasy VII. Mobile phone users can pick up copies of Final Fantasy VII Snowboarding, a slightly enhanced version of this 1997 mini-game. Regardless of where you come down on the cell phone game, there's no denying how much fun this PlayStation 1 bonus stage is. It's not as deep as the game's combat, but it doesn't need to be. It offers a fast and exciting diversion from the non-stop turn-based battles.

Completely Missing the Point: This Final Fantasy VII bonus stage sends the wrong message to the impressionable youth. This seminal adventure game suggests that snowboarders don't need to wear protective gear. If Cloud can't be bothered to wear pads and a helmet, then why should I? My hair is just as spectacular as his, so I might as well throw caution to the wind and pretend that I'm invincible. Square's irresponsible act may have cost somebody their life. Final Fantasy VII has blood on its hands!