Welcome to the 32 Dangerous Cheat Codes, a brand new series that will run daily between November 24 and December 25. Join us as we discuss the hazardous ramifications of some of your favorite cheat codes. Today we're speeding up one of the hardest games of all time. Today's Smash T.V. code is perfect for anybody who thinks life moves too slowly. But is running fast all it's cracked up to be? Find out when you discover the newest episode of the 32 Dangerous Cheat Codes.


Jebediah has a lot of work to do. He gets up early, makes sure the chickens are fed and then spends the rest of the day dealing with heavy machinery. He's a proud farmhand who dreams of a faster life. He's sick of a life of routine and pines for the breakneck speed of the big city. But Jebediah is wrong, and not just because he spends most of his time shoveling cow shit. He may think the fast-paced life is for him, but I'm here to straighten the boy out.

If there's one thing I've learned from classic video games, it's that faster is not always better. In fact, there are very few instances when bumping up the speed actually makes the game more fun. A good example of this is Super Smash T.V. on the Super NES. This early-generation dual-stick shooter was designed to suck quarters out of your pocket faster than Sega can say "blast processing," and the home console ports were no exception. But, for whatever reason, gamers demanded it go even faster, so they punched in left, right, left, up, R and R at the title screen and held on for dear life.

If it wasn't already painfully obvious, speeding up Smash T.V. was a ridiculously awful idea that made the game ten times harder. And don't think that boost in speed made the game ten times more fun, because all it did was highlight the many frustrating flaws. Much like the human body, the Smash T.V. contestants weren't meant to withstand those speeds.

Of course, not every game broke down the moment you stepped on the gas. Street Fighter II is a great example of a game that benefited from a speed code. If you press down, R, up, L, Y, B, X and A on controller 2 as the Capcom logo disappears, you'll make Street Fighter II Turbo even faster. This cheat turns an already speedy game into something a lot more exciting, especially with a second person involved.

But Street Fighter II Turbo is an outlier, and this type of cheat ruined more games than it helped. So take that as friendly advice, Jebediah, because life is already too fast as it is. Our bodies aren't designed to go at those speeds. That is, unless you're The Flash or Impulse 1000000 or Amazo or Superman or Mr. Majestic or Liberty Belle or Quicksilver or Kid Flash or Shazam or Max Mercury or Powergirl. Everybody else should just get back to plowing that field.