Bad Dudes: Hamburgers on Ronnie

Generally speaking, the stakes aren't real high in most old school brawlers. Both Double Dragon and Final Fight featured characters battling over women, and who knows what the Battletoads were up to. But Bad Dudes bucks that trend, tasking our heroes with saving none other than the President of the U.S.A.! It's day 10 of the 32 Game Endings of Christmas and that can only mean one thing, it's time for Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja!

Previously On Bad Dudes: Blade and Striker are two bad dudes. You know how you can tell? Because when the President of the United States of America (played here by actor Ronald Reagan) is kidnapped, the Secret Service decides to hire these two street brawlers. That's right, the best trained men and women in our armed forces couldn't solve the problem, so they got the best of the best. In this case, it's a couple of steroid queens just itching to get into a fight.

Instead of letting The Most Powerful Government in the World (tm) place them next to enemy lines, these two bad dudes decide to take the long way. Blade and Striker spend most of the day fighting people on city streets, the sewer, forests and caves before ultimately infiltrating the hideout. Much to their dismay, these two brawlers discover that every one of the bosses they killed along the way has miraculously been brought back to life. It's time for double jeopardy, suckas.

How It Ended: At long last, they're face-to-face with the evil Dragon Ninja. This Shinobi reject fights on an indoor helicopter and has a seemingly endless supply of attack dogs. It took some doing, but Blade and Striker were finally able to rescue President Ronnie before the helicopter hit the ceiling or walls. They would celebrate, but there's an uneasy feeling that they haven't heard the end of the Dragon Ninja. After all, these bros just got done fighting Karnov for what had to be the fifth time.

Back in the White House, Ronnie congratulates you on a job well done. They couldn't have done it without you! Now it's time to celebrate, by going out for a hamburger. Wait ... WHAT?!? That's literally the least you could do for these American heroes. They risked their life to save the president and all they get is something off the dollar menu? Screw you, douche bag! These bad dudes should be given an award or made the Secretaries of Putting a Foot Up Your Butt! That's for nothing, jerk.

How It Should Have Ended: Blade and Striker walked through forests, cities and caves to save the president. They killed hundreds of people along the way without breaking a sweat. Now that they've had their picture taken with President Ronnie, there's only one last thing for them to do: Go to McDonalds! Unfortunately, Striker discovers that he has sweet tooth for the McFlurry. This takes a toll on his health, eventually turning him into yet another fat, lazy American slob. Eventually the brawlers get their life back together and start touring the country speaking out on the ills of fast food, but only after Striker suffers a diabetes-induced stroke. Get well, Blade and Striker!