Contra III: Jimbo & Sully vs. Evil

It's day twelve in our 32 Game Endings of Christmas celebration. Up next we have one of Konami's biggest sequels, the action-packed Contra III: The Alien Wars. Watch as trained soldiers fight back alien swarms and test their upper body strength. Best of all, today's game ending is one of the few to feature an excited dog!

Previously On Contra III: It has been more than six hundred years (yes, you read that right) since the events of the first Contra and the Humans vs. Aliens war doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon. This time around the aliens from the first game have decided to mount a full-scale assault on Earth, really upping the impact from the small tropical island they tried defeating the last time around. But don't worry, two well-preserved fighters (Jimbo and Sully) have decided to fight back and save all of humanity once and for all.

So far we've fought giant alien turtles in the city, raced on futuristic motorcycles, suffered through a couple crummy overhead levels and made our way to the heart of the beast. You know deep down that even if you manage to kill these nasty aliens, they'll probably just come back meaner and stronger. But you don't care, because like Castlevania, it's your family's job to destroy Red Falcon every six hundred years.

How It Ended: After defeating one of the toughest bosses of all time, Jimbo is in serious need of an exit strategy. Thankfully there's a fully loaded helicopter our hero can use to make his way back home. But don't look now, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. Just as the chopper lifts off, the Red Falcon boss leaps into action and chases Jimbo. Thankfully this trained soldier remembered to bring enough bullets just in case something like this happened. A few shots later, the boss is defeated and Jimbo is on his way to safety.

After finally escaping the rushing boss and ensuing fireballs, we are presented with a Hangover-style slide show that explains what happened to the boss and what the two soldiers did to celebrate. Apparently Zack Galifianakis was embedded along with Jimbo and Sully as they fought the Alien Wars. I guess that explains why there was no room left in the helicopter and poor Jimbo had to ride home hanging on to a missile. Back home we see a half-destroyed city come together, complete with a dog chasing his tail and a kid off his Ritalin.

How It Should Have Ended: After getting back from defeating the Red Falcon leader, Jimbo and Sully convince the world's governments that our next step should be taking over the alien's planet. Let's face it, by the 27th century this planet will be all used up. Forget forests, lakes and natural resources, 650 years in the future we'll be lucky to not be eating cement. Now is the time to ditch this lousy planet and take over the alien's world. But I don't think Jimbo should be President, I have a hard time taking anybody named Jimbo seriously.