Tetris: This Game Has An Ending?

Is it already the eighteenth day in our month-long 32 Game Endings of Christmas! Today we're going handheld. That's right; we're taking a look at one of the best portable games of all time. I'm talking about Tetris, the pack-in game that introduced the world to the Nintendo Game Boy. Did you know this game has an ending? It does and you're about to see it when you read another episode of the 32 Game Endings of Christmas!

Previously On Tetris: So ... uh ... well ... I guess you play a guy (or girl) who's tasked with dropping blocks on into a well and then completing lines. If you can match four lines, you get a tetris. If you let the blocks climb to the top of the well it's game over. The goal is to keep this going as long as you can, earning the highest score (or maybe the most lines, depending on what kind of player you are). For the sake of this article I've been at this round for most of the day, ignoring phone calls, knocks at the door and a house fire that could have been lethal. But I didn't flinch, because Tetris requires complete focus. You can thank me later.

How It Ended: Tetris doesn't end with some giant boss battle or quick time event. Instead we play against our self, feverishly making sure the blocks don't reach the top. At first this is easy, but it doesn't take long before the speed becomes nearly impossible to keep up with. But don't give up, because all of Russia is counting on you! You stay focused until your eyes adjust to the speed, narrowly dodging mistakes that would end the game. And then it happens. You zig when you're supposed to zag and the whole thing comes tumbling down. But don't worry, because you earned the high score. You technically beat the game. You still lost, but at least you can feel good about something.

Instead of getting a simple game over message, Tetris rewards you with one of the most confusing endings of all time. First the Russians dance. Obviously. Then we see a space shuttle take off. But it's not any space shuttle; it's the kind that NASA used to send to the moon. It has the double rocket boosters and everything, this is the real deal. What does any of this have to do with dropping blocks into a well? Not a damn thing, yet I feel satisfied when the game congratulates me. At least my Game Boy didn't run out of juice half way through this epic round, so this ending is just icing on the cake.

How It Should Have Ended: I don't expect much from the endings of puzzle games. It's not like everybody is still raving about the end of Columns. Did you see the epic cinema at the end of Lumines? Of course not, because it doesn't exist. You aren't going to a puzzle game for story, you just want to drop blocks and erase lines. While this cinema is nice, the truth is this round shouldn't have ended at all. If I was a better Tetris player I would have gone indefinitely. So the only ending I want to see is when I die from malnourish and lack of sleep.