Splatterhouse: Burning Down the House
[ Company: Namco | Year: 1990 | Grade: B- ]
Splatterhouse (TurboGrafx-16)
Splatterhouse was one of the first big hits for NEC's TurboGrafx-16. A port of an arcade game, Namco's 16-bit action game combined the fun of a 2D brawler with the blood and guts of a modern horror film. The result was the first genuine guilty pleasure of the 16-bit era; an intriguing title with almost no depth to speak of. For the seventh day of the 32 Game Endings of Christmas we are going to try and figure out what the Splatterhouse finale really means.
Previously On Splatterhouse:
Rick is having a very bad night. First his car breaks down on a deserted road miles away from the nearest city, then his beloved girlfriend gets kidnapped by ghouls and ghosts. And to make matters worse, an evil spell has forced an uncomfortable red hockey mask onto Rick's face, forcing him to fight through a creepy old mansion to save the girl of his dreams. Sometimes you're better off walking back to town and finding a new girlfriend.
As we near the end of the game, Rick has already fought zombies, a menacing doll, a bookshelf, undead dogs and whatever that thing was in the sewer. He's wielded pieces of wood, knives, a shotgun and, of course, a chainsaw. He will stop at nothing to save his missing girlfriend, even if that means beating up a chandelier and punching flying knives. Unfortunately, Rick is too late to save his main squeeze. The evil in the house has transformed the beautiful girl into a massive fanged creature, forcing Rick to be the one taking the fatal blow. In a twist so stupid not even M. Night Shyamalan could think it up, we learn that this evil mansion is actually alive and our hero has to find a tombstone and release the ghoul haunting this house.
How It Ended:
After going toe-to-toe with the rotting face of the mansion, Rick knows there's one last thing for him to do. He stands there watching the mansion's hideous face burst into a massive light show, knowing
How did this reboot get made?
that it's only a matter of time before he is able to take his mask off and free himself from the burning house. The mask explodes, leaving only one option for our hero: To flee the confines of the mansion before he's sucked into the hellish fire that surrounds the grounds. He does this knowing it is too late for Jennifer. In the Splatterhouse universe, this is considered a happy ending.
The game ends with an ominous sound. Perhaps it indicates that the mask has been reassembled, leading us directly into Namco's two Sega Genesis sequels. However
There's more life in one of Splatterhouse's zombies than an episode of Whitney!
it's not so clear in this TurboGrafx-16 port, giving gamers a chance to argue about what the ending really means. We never see Rick make it out alive; the last thing we're left with is the vision of the mansion on fire. Is Rick trapped in this evil world? Has Rick been dead this whole time? Did they really need to reboot this franchise for current consoles? I guess these are questions we'll never get answers to.
How It Should Have Ended:
After spending all that time ridding the house of evil, Rick decides to move in and fix up the place. All it takes is a day of scrubbing walls and mopping floors; making sure to pull down all of the guts and intestines from the rafters. After opening up the windows and letting the sun come inside, Rick is surprised to see how inviting this adorable mansion is. Best of all, there are still a few lingering ghosts and ghouls hanging around, setting up a hilarious Odd Couple-style sitcom that would run on NBC for a decade. Don't believe me? At this point even a zombie is funnier than Whitney!
