Theme - Donkey Kong 64 (Nintendo 64)

Cyril: This Donkey Kong 64 theme is as close to a "Jump the Shark" moment as a video game can get. Even more annoying than the insipid beat is the mountain of factual inaccuracies. Let's start from the beginning. Early on we're told this is a "monkey rap." But Donkey Kong is a gorilla, not a monkey. There's a difference. This also suggests that Diddy, the lone Kong with a tail, must be adopted. As we all know, monkeys have tails, while the more evolved gorilla is smarter and has a bare butt. Suddenly I'm very interested in lurid tales of Donkey Kong's past. What ever happened to Donkey Kong Jr.? Who is Chunky Kong's mother? Why am I so interested in the mating habits of gorillas? Maybe it's because this song blows.

Kevin: This theme song is giving me flashbacks. Unfortunately, I wish it wasn't. Despite the fact that I primarily use a DK64 banana controller to play N64, I had wiped this game completely from my memory until this was dug up. Even as a kid, I was embarrassed by the DK rap. Even now, relistening to it so many years later, I find myself putting my hand over my face and groaning. Some may find the song endearingly bad, but I can hardly stand it. I guess I can't fault the music itself; the music changes on occasion with only a few really atrocious record scratches to count against it. The music is pretty average. The actual rap though is just god awful. It's written at a first or second grade level with no subtlety at all. Many of the lines are just filler. It hurts to think about it.