Ah yes, where would we be without a long history of amazing sumo wrestling games? This is Sumo FIGHTER (yes, "FIGHTER" is supposed to be all caps), an action game where you play the fattest athletes in the world on the smallest console of them all. I'm sure in some alternate reality that makes sense, so who am I to judge the logic of making a portable action game out of a sumo wrestler?

I'm willing to accept that DTMC had the best intentions when bringing this Japanese game to the United States, but did we really need the American flag? It's almost as if they were afraid that Sumo FIGHTER wouldn't do well unless they gave off the impression that he was super patriotic. DTMC clearly didn't think that Americans could relate to a gigantic fat dude who was ready to kick some ass. Apparently they've never been to an American high school. "Now in the USA" this commercial proudly proclaims, which is kind of redundant because there would be no reason for DTMC to actually pay for an advertisement in an American magazine if the game was only available in Japan.

But it's not the American flag that makes me question this game's intentions, instead it's the crazy description found on the left side. "Help [Sumo FIGHTER] eat his way to super strength and destroy lightweights in his path." As much fun as simulating over eating sounds, I think I would rather just skip to the butt kicking part of the game. And if that wasn't stupid enough, you also get to jump into bonus stages full of arm wrestling, sumo fighting and ... thumb wrestling? What, they couldn't get the water balloon fight mechanics to work properly? Paper, Rock Scissors too complicated for the Sumo dude? Perhaps this is why we don't see sumo wrestling games released in the U.S. anymore. Thanks a lot DTMC!

FROM: The Trouble With Bad Advertising