Remember the Power Glove? Oh, sure you do, it was that crappy NES control that Galoob made and was featured in that terrible movie, The Wizard. While I'm sure you thought that the days of the Power Glove were long past us, but you would be wrong. Since its inception the Power Glove has gone on to influence a number of crazy motion devices, from the Game Glove for the PC to the Nintendo Wii controller. But it's this Nintendo 64 Power Glove knock-off that is the most appalling, if only because this is the first time I've actually ever heard of it. I pride myself on owning every terrible video game accessory that sees release (from the Roll n' Rocker to the Turbo Touch 360 for the NES), yet somehow The Glove slipped right past me? The Cyril of today is not very happy with the Cyril of 1996!

This isn't just any glove, it's The Glove. While that is admittedly a terrible (and horribly generic) name, part of me loves the gutsiness of it all. How cool would it be to walk into a game store and just say, "Give me The Glove"? It's a shame Reality Quest couldn't have taken the same tact for their other controls, it would have been even cooler to own something called The Control. Or what about The Joystick? Oh, I know, maybe they could have come up with The Link That Lets Two People Play The Virtual Boy ... I mean, somebody had to make it, right?

For a device that is called The Glove, this thing doesn't look like much of a glove to me. It looks more like a brace or something, I'm actually afraid to put my hand in it because I fear that it's going to come to life and turn me into some sort of weird comic book super villain (which actually sounds cooler than a Power Glove retread). But I guess I shouldn't fear The Glove, because the six quotes at the top tell me it's perfectly safe. And just who are these quotes from? Satisfied customers? Store employees? Video game journalists? Nope, these quotes are from people who only gave their first name and only like to say the most generic comments. Heck, I'm pretty sure nobody actually said these comments, which may explain why they didn't use any last names and didn't have any professional quotes. I'm not sure why more companies aren't doing that, who needs a professional quote when you can get some dude named Steve to vouch for your product. "Big Rigs is the greatest racing game ever," says Steve. "You'll never see a better movie than Norbit," proclaims Steve. "Euro Disney ROCKS!" states an excited Steve. Why didn't I think of this earlier, Reality Quest you are a genius (says Steve).

FROM: Masters of Bad Advertising