Some game concepts are so bad that no matter how terrible the advertising is it won't get in the way of the actual game. Take Pretzel Pete for example, now here's a game where you play a hero named Pete who is armed with a powerful pretzel net and a mighty mustard cannon. He's here to rescue humanity from, you guessed it, pretzel purgatory. Say what?? What is a pretzel net and why does this guy have a cannon of mustard? Do pretzels hate mustard? And am I the only one that doesn't think that pretzel purgatory is such a bad thing? I've always said that if you have a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven you should choose pie heaven. It may not exist, but if it does ... mmmmm pie.

Getting beyond those crazy questions and the thought of yummy pretzel purgatory, there's actually a crazy stupid advertisement to go along with this crazy stupid game. Should you be afraid? Actually, yes. At least, that's what the tagline says: "Be afraid! Be very afraid!" The only thing I fear is that somebody actually looked at this terrible commercial and said, "Hey, I need to run out to the store and buy this Pretzel Pete game."

Maybe it's just me, but this commercial reminds me of the old Dunkin' Donuts cook who knows that it's "time to make the donuts." Only this time around, it's some crazy old pretzel maker who apparently bakes his pretzels in kryptonite. Who does this guy think is coming to battle him, Superman? From the box art Pretzel Pete is nothing more than a Archie's comic character who has a butterfly net (and a busty girlfriend who isn't wearing many clothes). Then again, I don't actually know how to make pretzels, so maybe that green glow is natural. I'm not sure what I should be afraid of, I usually don't eat food that is glowing green ... so it's not like I'm going to accidentally start chomping on this radioactive pretzel. Who would be afraid of a pretzel? Oh, I know. "Pretzel Pete is the scariest game of all time," states Steve. Man, I'm sure glad I reviewed The Glove!

FROM: Masters of Bad Advertising