Okay, either that guy just got blown away by some real witty dialog ... or he's actually a paraplegic bravely using the internet for the first time. I'm guessing that it's probably the latter, but only because I don't believe that people actually make that face in real life. I mean, you're going to have to do a 24 hour long marathon version of "The Aristocrats" joke in order to get my face to do that, and even then I would probably have reported you to the police by at least hour 20 or 21. The point is, I don't know if I should make fun of this terrible advertisement or not. I mean, the last thing I want to do is get a bunch of people mad for saying something insensitive about the handicapped.

Don't be confused by American People Link's big fancy space-age words (like "videotex" and "love"), this is nothing more than a giant chat room when men and women could do, well, men and women stuff. That's right, it's a big orgy, only instead of rubbing it off to a picture of a hot girl, you're stuck staring at a tiny black and green monitor. Oh, and you get to pay for it, too. Because, you know, this was at a time when people thought they could make money online. Ah, how stupid people were back then.

Best of all when you aren't hurting your eyes by squinting to make out the dirty words on the screen, you can head on over to the "Club Link". The Club Link allows you to "join or start a club devoted to your favorite hobby, rock group, lifestyle, etc." Sadly I cannot do any of these interesting things because American People Link has been replaced with something called Web 2.0. But that shouldn't stop me from fulfilling my dream of making my milkshake club. It's an exclusive club for people who enjoy creating new and interesting flavors of yummy milkshakes. Currently I'm working on a Mexican shake (with beans, rice and salsa) called "Chilly Con Carne" and a steak shake (with real steak and A1 sauce) called "It's What's For Dessert." I know it has nothing to do with American People Link, but how else am I supposed to find people for my exclusive club?

FROM: Beauty and the Bad Advertising