Quick: What is this advertisement selling you? No need to answer right away, take a closer look at the advertisement, read the text and come back to me when you're done. Done? Oh, you need a few more seconds. Fine, I'll wait. Okay, that's about enough time. This advertisement is selling you on the amazing Mindscape catalog of PC games. I'm talking about Chessmaster 2100, Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, the Miracle Piano Teaching System and more. The reason you wouldn't know it from this advertisement is because this is nothing more than a bunch of "real" letters supposedly written to Software Toolworks. I hate to be completely cynical, but considering no names were used, I'm going to say that there's a good chance that these letters are completely made up. It's not hard to make up a fake letter for your advertisement, just check out this letter talking about Defunct Games ...

"Dear Defunct Games. I would like to let you know that Defunct Games is the funniest and most original site on the internet. I would like to say that your hard hitting articles and silly historical features are a lot of fun. I would like to tell all of my friends about your reviews, both new and old. I would like to do all of these things, but I can't. You see, I can't because Defunct Games is easily one of the worst sites I have ever been to. I would rather stick my hand up a donkey's ass than have to listen to you prattle on about how terrible everything is. Get over yourself, you guys suck!"

Yikes, even when I write my own Defunct Games endorsement things go wrong. I guess there is some skill to making a completely terrible advertisement that is nothing more than your own fake letters. Who would have thought? Also, shouldn't it be "Gamers' Speak"? I don't know, something just doesn't sound right about Gamers Speak. Then again, there's something not right about this whole advertisement. When you're making an advertisement for a bunch of products, maybe you should spend a few minutes and include the logos. Instead we have an advertisement where you actually have to work to find out what it's for. Marketing 101 says that you always want to have your product front and center. Apparently that's another one of the classes Software Toolworks failed out of.

FROM: She's Got the Bad Advertising