Over the past 46 episodes we've seen terrible advertisements that use disgusting bodily fluids, made-up quotes and even a few that just a little racist (see: Wolfenstein 3D). But today we're going to look at an advertisement that is none of those. It's not disgusting, the artwork is fine and there's not even a slight hint of racism. For all intents and purposes, this should be a good advertisement. This isn't the type of commercial we should be talking about; instead we should be looking at the snot-filled Boogerman ads or those Virtual Boy commercials starring butt cracks. Heavy Nova should be one of the good ones. How did it come to this?

Simple - it's because they are lying to you. That's right; this Heavy Nova commercial is an outright lie. There's no way that Heavy Nova was sold out at your local game store. This is as game that nobody bought by a company that nobody cared about. It had cheesy cover art, a generic name and was on a rack full of nothing but Micronet games. It's the perfect storm, and there's no way that Heavy Nova could ride out the waves. The only way this game could possibly sell out is if your local game store refused to carry it in the first place.

But wait ... maybe there is something to that. At first glance this advertisement is trying to suggest that somebody just bought the last copy of Heavy Nova. But how can that be the case when the there's no hook to hang the game? Look closely, the only way the consumer could have taken this game off the shelf is if it was floating in mid air. Perhaps it's for the best that there's no hook, after all it's not like all of the other Micronet games are flying off the shelf. Maybe instead of putting this game in no-man's land, you should put it next to something people might look at (like a Street Fighter game). Whatever you do, don't try and hang the game without a hook, it's just not going to work.

FROM: The Penguins of Bad Advertising