While everybody wants to be Superman or Batman, the truth is that there are a lot of ridiculously stupid superheroes in our culture. Is there a person alive that wants to be Aquaman? Or what about Captain Obvious, a superhero that points out really obvious things. And don't even get me started on the cast of Heroes, there's enough suck there to spend ten pages complaining. But while all of those heroes suck (especially the ones created by Tim Kring), none are as pointless as SpikeMaster, Discwasher's surge suppressor superhero!

A surge suppressor should sell itself. After all, it's a little box that you plug your valuables into so that they won't get destroyed if there's a power surge. It's as simple as that. They don't need to sing and dance. They don't need to fight crime. They don't need to save the universe. All they need to do is protect your computer, stereo and TV and you'll be happy.

My biggest problem with this advertisement is that I don't buy that this character, this SpikeMaster, could really rescue my computer from the evils of electrical surges. Instead of looking like a buff superhero, SpikeMaster looks like a combination of a 1970s revival of Hair and Robocop. It would be bad enough if it was just his lightning encrusted helmet, but I'm also concerned that his armor doesn't expend to his arms, elbows, knees and crotch. And did I mention that he can barely hold that computer? Oh sure, he can fly around, but he's a weak little guy with no fashion sense. If this is the hero, then maybe I'll take my chances with his arch nemesis - Dr. Power Surge!

FROM: The Penguins of Bad Advertising