How good is the Suncom CYBERPad? So good that it will make your best friend throw his wimpy-ass control straight through your 15 inch television set. Your CYBERPad control is so much better than his standard issue pad that there's no way he'll be able to hold back his rage. And that's a good thing, because now you are the undisputed champion. You're the winner. Nobody can beat you. Everybody is going to know that you're the best. Newspapers are going to run your picture on the front page. School kids will be whispering your story to their friends for decades to come. You are the greatest. You got what you came for; even if that means that tomorrow you'll be making a trip to Video Only to pick up another teeny tiny TV set with your allowance.

But hold one second, because it's not all good news for you. When your friend threw his control and broke your TV, you discovered that there were human remains stashed away in that set. As you can tell from the picture to the right, there's a skeletal arm falling out of the broken (and red hot) television screen. As you dig deeper you find a full body, including a knife and a note that pins you for the murder. By that time your friend has already called the police and you know that you have to do something.

As you're spending the next twenty years of your life stuck in a prison cell writing poetry, you realize that all of this could have been avoided if you hadn't bought the CYBERPad. That damn control made you too good. So good that it made your friend expose your hiding place. If it wasn't for the CYBERPad nobody would have found when you hide the bodies of the people you kill. But no, because of the control's rapid fire buttons and slow-motion abilities, you just had to show off and get yourself arrested. Boy are you angry at Suncom Technologies. So what are you going to do about it?

FROM: I'm Bad Advertising ... Get Me Out of Here!