Quick: What do you think of when you hear the name "Kickle Cubicle"? When I first heard the title I envisioned a crazy office worker who, after being passed over for a promotion by a young kid fresh out of college, he decides to get even. The whole thing would be an overhead puzzle game where you kick your co-workers (and their cubicles) into different goals. You would work your way up through the corporation until you're at the head quarters kicking the CEO and CFO. Man, that game would rock. Unfortunately we get this piece of crap game about kicking ice. Whatever.

With a terrible catch phrase and an even worse name, Kickle Cubicle wants you to "discover why Nintendo Game Counselors rated [it] so highly." Damn straight, because the Nintendo Game Counselors are the final word in what's good, right? I wonder if the Nintendo Game Counselors are as afraid of using the words "puzzle game" as Irem seems to be. At one point in this advertisement the copy writer notes that Kickle Cubicle is a "strategy-action game," for your NES. Strategy-action? Where I'm from we call that a puzzle game.

But that's not even the most offensive part of this commercial. Take a look at the cool hero we get in the advertisement. He's a tall, blonde kicker who doesn't mind wearing a onesie and long socks. But wait a second, who is that on the box cover? On the box the character is a short, fat bald kid. And is that an apple tree on the cover? This commercial makes it look like the game is all about cold climates and Frosty the Snowman, but it's sunny and happy on the box cover. What gives? This commercial makes me want to discover what drugs the Nintendo Game Counselors are smoking.

FROM: I'm Bad Advertising ... Get Me Out of Here!