Long before anybody had ever heard of Skate and Activision screwed up the Tony Hawk franchise, there was Electronic Arts' Skate or Die franchise. By franchise I mean two games ... not including the equally terrible spin-off, Ski or Die. This hip, rad, gnarly, bodacious advertisement is for the totally whack Skate or Die 2, easily one of the worst skateboarding games of all time. In fact, it's a skateboarding game so bad that it makes me want to apologize to Tony Hawk Ride. It's a skateboarding game so bad that it made me nail a "no skating" sign onto the side of my television screen. A skateboarding game so bad that it made me hate kittens. That's how bad this game is.

But I digress, this advertisement for Skate or Die 2 is making me feel a little stabby. So let me get this right, this concrete room is supposed to be some skater dude's house? Y'know, some poor hipster who isn't going to let the man push him around and doesn't have time for a job. He's just out there skating the open streets with no care in the world. He has a finely tuned radar for finding empty swimming pools ... and trouble. He's too busy to take care of his apartment, an abandoned building that he's squatting in. Thank god those bumper stickers were free, without them he wouldn't have anything to put on his wall. Oh, well, anything except for that GIGANTIC TELEVISION!!

So, which is it, is he too poor to own a real home and too lazy to pick up, or is he rich enough to buy a concrete mounted television to play his crappy NES game? Worse yet, why can't this guy pick up around the place. I know that this Skate or Die 2 intro menu is pulse-pounding excitement, but maybe they could spend a few seconds picking up around the pad. Maybe get a second chair for the company. Or better yet, pick up that dead dog in the middle of your living room. I'm not buying that they have enough know-how to mount a large screen TV in concrete, but can't pick up the dead dog or semen stain on the wall.

FROM: It's Me or the Bad Advertising