For our final advert we didn't just go back in time, we had to go across the pond to jolly ol' England to bring you this crummy advertisement for Super Kick Off. Now here's a confusing product, it's a soccer game released by U.S. Gold. What does the U.S. know about soccer? You might as well have the Japanese develop arena football games for us. And why is Super Kick Off for the Mega Drive (Genesis)? Shouldn't it be on the Super NES, the name certainly implied that?

But my problems with Super Kick Off are more than just the name and who makes it, it's the whole idea of the United States with zero and England at 57. I don't have a problem that England is beating us; my problem is that playing against the American soccer team isn't much to brag about ... we suck. When you're going up against the worst soccer players in the world you're bound to score a lot of goals!

And you know what? We don't care! That's right, we Americans don't care if you beat us 57 to 0 ... because we hate soccer. Oh, I'm sure there are a few Americans out there that enjoy a good old fashioned zero - zero tie, but most Yankees would rather watch football, baseball, and NASCAR. Heck, chances are they would rather watch people poker than sit through an entire 90 minute soccer match. This advertisement would work better if it pitted England against another team (country) that took this sport as seriously as they do. We Americans put soccer just below underwater fire starting when asked what our favorite pastimes are.

FROM: Talk Sex with Bad Advertising