Hey dude, I hate to be the one to tell you this but there's a creepy dinosaur headed your way and you might want to do something about it. I mean seriously, forget about that skeleton guy in front of you, what good is a laser gun going to do against a skeleton anyway? If I were you I would be focusing my attention on that dinosaur who is breathing down your neck. Don't feel bad about throwing your coveted blow-up sex doll to the side and addressing the real problem ... you're in the middle of what appears to be the stupidest fight of your life.

Why is it that everybody's vision of the future consist of stupid fashions that nobody would want to wear? Our hero appears to be sporting a metallic Laser Tag vest and some of the biggest boots since Battlefield Earth! Couple that with the fact that he has a mullet and a 1980s headband and you know that whoever envisioned this future will likely commit suicide long before anybody has to battle skeletons and dinosaurs. I know I would if I had to wear such stupid fashions and prey for the Ambiguously Guy Duo to show up on their flying devices.

Unfortunately what you cannot see in these scans is the text off to the right. It gives you a bunch of bullet points about the game, but before each one of them it yells "CHALLENGE" at you. For example, "CHALLENGE! Defeat the grotesque and vile keepers of the medallions!" And then when you've done that there's, "CHALLENGE! Solve the riddle of the medallions!" Unfortunately "CHALLENGE! Try your hardest to keep from laughing at how stupid this game looks" was left on the editing room floor!

FROM: My Bad Advertising on the D-List