Fifty Shades of E3 2012

Between the 15 minute long demonstration of Wonderbooks and Microsoft unveiling SmartGlass, there wasn't a whole lot at E3 2012 that caught my eye. Sequel after sequel, one familiar trope after another; this was the worst E3 in years. Just as I was about to lose all hope, I remembered that this is the year of the Pikmin. And that X-COM sequel I've been dreaming of? It turns out that's coming, too. In fact, everybody from Sega to Nintendo to Disney have video game revivals planned for the next few months. Maybe this is a good time to explore the pros and cons of these exciting new games.

Before we begin, let's make up some arbitrary rules that get me out of doing a lot of work. For the sake of this article, a "revival" is a game that has been absent for at least one generation. Pikmin 3 is a revival because the last game was released on the GameCube. [READ MORE]

Yesterday I spent a lot of time ruminating on the good old days of E3 press packets. I'm talking about large binders full of videos, music, press releases and more. Sadly, the days of oversized packets have been replaced with FTP sites and asset discs. Think it can't get any worse? This year, the media attending are reporting sightings of on-disc downloadable content for premium prices. If true, this is just one of the egregious money grabs being waged at E3 2012.

The downloadable content was found while trying to locate additional pictures of Lost Planet 3. For 400 Microsoft Points ($5), the E3 media can upgrade their experience with two new characters. Hackers have discovered code for future characters and information, leading many to charge the Japanese powerhouse with purposely locking away content. [READ MORE]

I have to assume that Sony originally intended to announce a whole treasure chest of exciting new PS Vita games. I'm talking about a new Jak & Daxter, Metal Gear, Grand Theft Auto, Burnout, Syphon Filter and more original IPs than you know what to do with. These games must have been seconds away from being announced, if only Sony's gimmicky Wonderbook hadn't gone long.

Sure it sounds like a conspiracy theory, but how else can do you explain the complete lack of PS Vita support found at Sony's E3 2012 press conference? Here is a console that is struggling to find its place in the market place and needs that extra boost; it only makes sense for Sony to come out swinging and recapture the hearts and minds of consumers the world over. But that's not what they did. Instead they chose to highlight the Sony Move and J.K. Rowling's sleep-inducing Book of Spells book/game/thing. [READ MORE]

Imagine this horrifying scenario: You're a game journalist needing to pick up each company's press packet at a big video game event. But instead of just handing you a business card with a website address, the fetching PR lady hands you a gigantic box full of press releases, video cassettes, slides and CDs. Your own personal hell is picking up more packets, each one weighing down the bag and cutting into your shoulder. Oh the humanity!

Imagine this horrifying scenario: You're a game journalist needing to pick up each company's press packet at a big video game event. But instead of just handing you a business card with a website address, the fetching PR lady hands you a gigantic box full of press releases, video cassettes, slides and CDs. Your own personal hell is picking up more packets, each one weighing down the bag and cutting into your shoulder. Oh the humanity! [READ MORE]

Despite being something of an off year, I still have a lot of questions I need answered. Will Nintendo announce launch games for the Wii U? Will Sony be able to convince gamers to buy a PS Vita? Will Halo 4 work without Bungie? I simply need to know the answers to these questions immediately, because there's no way I can wait a day or two to find out.

Good news: I have been able to wrangle together three of the foremost experts on trends and what the future holds. No, I didn't spend the money to hire a real analyst. Instead I went the cheap route and asked three very trusted sources. First, I went online and spoke with a real life psychic. She wasn't very useful. To get a second opinion, I ran to the store and bought a big bucket of fortune cookies. [READ MORE]

Hey, what's that smell? Oh, it's just the entire media corps gearing up for E3. This is the time of year when professional writers (and people who fake it on the internet) travel to Los Angeles for the all-important Electronic Entertainment Expo. It's a time when this industry's biggest companies unveil their plans for the next twelve months, generating more news than any other week of the year. Unfortunately, it also means that the horde of journalists will also trot out the usual E3 cliches. With only a few days until the Los Angeles Convention Center doors open, we wanted to point out a few cliches you should avoid saying while covering E3. Maybe this will be the year I stop ripping my hair out while reading E3 coverage. Game journalists of the world, don't ignore your gut. I know using these cliches is easy, but you will be rewarded if you somehow avoid every offense on this list. I have faith in you. [READ MORE]