Escape From Tethys

When people tell me that they are sick of Metroidvania-style action games, I scoff. Sure, we've seen a lot of this incredibly resilient sub-genre over the last few decades, I'm not going to deny that, but that's because the games tend to be good and surprisingly varied. In just the last few years, we've seen the genre mixed with some of my favorite old school games, including everything from Contra to Ninja Gaiden to The King of Fighters. But now that I've played Escape From Tethys from first-time developer Whimsical, I'm starting to think that everybody else is right. Maybe there are too many Metroidvania games on the market.

It's the future and, you guessed it, everything sucks. Forget governments, because everything is controlled by either the Turan Science Corporation or Intergalactic Robot Industries, two massive companies that are locked in what seems like a never-ending war to stay on top. As a member of the TSC, you've been sent down to the planet Tethys to help move things along and make sure that something, something, something, something.

Look, I know what you're about to say, and I promise you that I'm not being dismissive. This game literally fades to the title screen halfway through the introduction conversation, robbing us of knowing what's going on. Escape From Tethys is so uninterested in its own story, that it can't even show us the full intro cinema. Try to wrap your head around that. All you need to know is that the planet is under attack and our hero gets separated from their ship. This sets up a mission that is all about finding strategically-placed items that will help our stranded TSC employee explore the hostile planet.

If I were to be charitable, I would describe Escape From Tethys as a Mega Man-infused Metroidvania game with 8-bit graphics. You see the influence with the special weapons and boss fights, as well as the emphasis on tough platforming sections and hard to avoid enemies. At the same time, you'll see all of the genre's typical upgrades, like a double jump, a dash move and a way to traverse the water levels. The result is an action game that isn't just bland and generic, but also lacks any form of an identity. It's just an excuse to go through the motions.

The problem with this game is that it doesn't even get enough right to be considered middling. Right from the start, you'll know that you're playing a bad game. It's in the sluggish gameplay and unresponsive controls, which makes the already tough platforming sections so much more frustrating. It's in the poorly constructed level designs, none of which are much fun to fight through. It's in the terribly written story, which only pops up to remind you that the developers have played better games. From beginning to end, there was nothing exciting or noteworthy that I could point to. Escape From Tethys is just a thing that exists, and I couldn't want to stop playing it.

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Of the game's many problems, I think the most telling one has to be the bosses. If you're a game inspired by Mega Man, then you need to bring it with the bosses, because that's why everybody is showing up. Not only are the bosses in this game generic to the point of being forgettable, but they aren't even fun to fight. Every single boss in this game can be defeated by standing in one place and spamming the shoot button. You rarely have to move or do any evading whatsoever, because they'll always run out of health before our hero does. And it's not just that they are push-overs, but also that there's nothing about them that stands out. I played the game as recently as a few minutes ago, and I don't think I could describe more than one or two of the bosses, let alone tell you what their names are. I'm not even sure they have names. They are forgettable, just like everything else in this poorly made game.

At a mere five dollars, I could see how Escape From Tethys might be tempting. It has a throwback look and plays like a cross between Metroid and Mega Man, what could possibly go wrong? As it turns out, the answer is everything. From the sluggish gameplay to the generic power-ups to the forgettable bosses, this is a science fiction action game that should be avoided. With so many better games doing the exact same thing (for around the same price), there's absolutely no reason to travel to Tethys. Games like this are why so many people are sick of the Metroidvania genre.