Bartlow's Dread Machine

Thanks to games like Robotron 2084 and Smash TV, we already know what dual-stick shooters looked like in the 1980s and 90s. But here's the real question: What would these shoot 'em ups have looked like if they were from the early 20th century, long before anybody had ever heard of video games? The answer might look a bit like Bartlow's Dread Machine, an often silly and always over-the-top action game that looks like it belongs in one of those museums celebrating the dawn of the Electric Age. But don't let the chipped paint and creaky gears fool you, because this is a thoroughly modern shooting gallery filled with blistering action, political intrigue, shocking conspiracies, supernatural elements and even zombies. I'd buy that for a nickel!

Oh no! Teddy Roosevelt has been kidnapped! Now it's up to a spunky Secret Service agent to travel across the country (and beyond) in order to rescue the 26th President of the United States and arrest the hooded culprit. And if that wasn't enough, zombies and otherworldly creatures are destroying some of our nation's greatest cities, which is the worst thing to happen since the Spanish-American war. With our cities crumbling, innocent people dying and a presidency in turmoil, I think we can all agree that this was an awful year.

The first thing you'll probably notice is that Bartlow's Dread Machine does not look like most dual-stick shooters. It's designed to resemble a physical machine with lots of moving parts. The characters and enemies all look like they're made out of tin with painted details, and the world around our hero flips and slides into place as it's needed. Because of this, we can only move along the straight tracks, which is a big departure from the shooters that have you running all over the level. It creates a fun dynamic where you'll need to strategically pick your paths and pay close attention to how the enemies are moving.

While being locked to a track may seem limiting at first, the developers have made a few smart decisions to keep things from becoming too frustrating. For one thing, our hero will be able to deflect most bullets by simply twirling around at the right time. And the timing doesn't even need to be right, because the game is incredibly forgiving when it comes to avoiding bullets. It also helps that we're usually fighting in large stages with plenty of room. Sure, you still have to move from track-to-track while shooting at enemies, but you can usually backtrack and find safe spots away from the fight. And with plenty of health and ammo pick-ups, along with generous checkpoints, being stuck on a track is rarely frustrating.

The real stars of Bartlow's Dread Machine are the incredible set pieces. From the burning cities to the trap-filled jungles to the snake infested mines, every level offers something memorable that sets it apart. We'll shoot up the inside of a train, dodge enemy fire on a boat and kill every last bad guy holed up in the hotel. And just when you think you've seen it all, we'll take to the sky in a hot air balloon. I love how the game is constantly finding times to use its mechanical parts in creative and exciting ways. And it's not just the machine that will impress, but also how a simple thing like a camera shift can shake up how the action plays out. There are times when the camera will pull out for a wide overhead view, while the very next part of the stage will zoom right in to create the sensation of playing a third-person shooter. These are gorgeous levels filled with personality, and the camera always knows the best angle for every situation.

The awe-inspiring art design also extends to the enemies, who look like they were plucked straight out of Grim Fandango and a Residents concert. These aren't just cool characters, but also fun to fight. They all have little quirks that you'll need to deal with, making each one deadly in their own unique way. There are enemies that will hide out in boxes until the shooting stops, while others will rush you every time they are on the same track. You'll need to not only dodge sniper bullets, but also bugs carrying dynamite. And just wait until you see the crazy boss fights. I love how outlandish some of the villains are and how it perfectly fits with the rest of the motif. From the biggest set piece to the smallest enemy, Bartlow's Dread Machine is a great looking game.

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Unfortunately, it stumbles in a few predictable spots. I think the most glaring problem involves transferring from one track to another. It's easy to run and shoot on a straight stretch, but there are times when you'll have a hard time and even get stuck trying to turn onto another track. This will be a familiar problem for anybody who has played a maze game with sharp turns, but it's even more jarring when there are a dozen bullets coming your way. Thankfully, this is a gameplay issue you'll be able to overcome with practice, but I still wish the game was a little more forgiving on this point.

Speaking of things that are unforgiving, there's a difficulty spike towards the end of the second act that can really get in the way of the otherwise brisk pacing. Up until this point, the game is really good about regular checkpoints and health drops, but the Panama stages buck that trend. Despite the levels being longer and filled with tougher enemies, the helpful items are fewer and further apart. It's not to the point where you'll want to give up, but there's no question that it's substantially harder and more unfair than the rest of the game. The good news is that once you've finally managed to escape the jungle, it's smooth sailing right through to the end of the game.

And that brings me to my final criticism. Bartlow's Dread Machine is one of those games that makes you start over after the credits roll. You can't go back and play past levels or even see the alternate ending, because the game always treats your next play as a new game. After already picking up hidden characters like Marie Curie, Nikola Tesla and Bass Reeves, I was hoping to go back and search for the remaining unlockable heroes. But alas, there is no going back. I guess that means that I'm forced to play through this wonderful and imaginative shooter all over again. I can think of worse punishments.

Bartlow's Dread Machine is a delight. It's a stunningly fresh take on the shoot 'em up genre that is ready to impress every step of the way. From the incredible set pieces to the creative enemies to the gorgeous art design, this is an action-packed story filled with political intrigue and twists you definitely won't see coming. Sure, the tracks are occasionally hard to navigate and there's a difficulty spike that comes out of nowhere, but that's not what you're going to remember about Bartlow's Dread Machine. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but the developers behind Voodoo Vince Remastered made one of the year's best shoot 'em ups.