Astrologaster

Should you buy the new game Astrologaster on Switch? The answer to that question (and pretty much everything else) is in the stars. That's the premise of the clever and outrageously funny sophomore release from UK developer Nyamyam. It's a game about solving all of life's problems using herbs, blood-letting, old English prose and a healthy belief in astrology. Toss in a whole lot of musical interludes and social commentary ripped right out of the headlines, and you have one of the sharpest and most cutting satires I've seen on a home console. Huzzah!

This is the totally fictitious true story of Simon Forman, a 16th century astrologer who made a name for himself by turning to the stars in order to treat his surprisingly long list of high-profile patients. In the game, we pick up with Simon right at the start of his career. He had just survived and cured the plague thanks to the insight gleaned from the stars, so he decides to use that little bit of notoriety and know-how to setup a practice that could assist the many crazy and colorful characters found in (and passing through) London.

Simon's goal is surprisingly simple: He craves the one thing that is just outside of his reach -- a medical license. His peers mock him and the law is not always on his side, but our good quote-unquote doctor is convinced that all he needs is eight letters of recommendations from his patients to be able to practice medicine above board. This sets up a conversational adventure where the goal is to successfully treat patients and earn at least eight letters of recommendation.

What Simon quickly discovers is that everybody has a problem. Sometimes it's as simple as diagnosing a case of food poisoning, while other times it's helping an old man invest his money wisely. He'll help young maidens with marital problems, a clergyman make political appointments and a hypochondriac who really needs to stop reading medical journals. But no matter what the problem is, the solution is always the way -- consult the stars.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, all of this is complete nonsense. We're not actually practicing anything even resembling science. The stars will give us two or three options to choose from, but we're mostly basing the diagnosis on the clues that come from the patient. For example, we know that somebody complaining about a massive foot pain probably has gout, so we can rule out love sickness and him having a bad case of the melancholy.

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Of course, this style of diagnosis is susceptible to Simon's many flaws as a man and, let's be honest, con artist. He has his patients under his control, which can lead to him making some real questionable moral decisions. In fact, there are times when the game feels like a gaslighting simulator. It's easy to see how reading the stars one way may help Simon romantically and even financially, and he'll run into plenty of scenarios where giving one patient misinformation may help another person seeking Simon's help.

This is where the satire comes in. A lot of the problems of the 16th century are little more than veiled issues we're dealing with in 2021. This involves dealing with sexism, religiosity, bigotry, fake news, politics and a whole host of issues. Astrologaster is able to get away with some frank and outrageous observations by masking it in a period piece comedy, yet it's clear what's being talked about. It also helps that it's funny. Riotously funny. I couldn't stop laughing at the pithy dialog and pop culture observations. The humor is biting and smartly handled, all of which is underscored by the dry British wit and old English vernacular. Forsooth, methinks I'll verily be quoting this game for years to come.

It's worth mentioning that the political intrigue is also handled well. We learn about wars, invasions, expeditions and drama involving the Queen not only through conversations, but also the occasional newspaper clipping or letter. Although Astrologaster is mostly funny, there are times when the game takes a dark and even emotional turn. There were times when I genuinely felt terrible about the advice I gave, especially after I understood their ultimate fates. Through many conversations and treatments, you get to know these people for who they are, so it hits hard when they are bewitched by illness ... or worse. The game wants you to have conflicted feelings about Simon's place in history, which makes a lot of sense when you start to learn more about the real person's dark and complicated life.

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But even at its darkest, Astrologaster never gives up its sense of humor. A lot of this is in the musical interludes that introduce each patient. And it's not just a couple theme songs, oh no, these are beautifully sung songs with new information every time. These short musical moments work to help us keep track of these weird characters and mock their different predicaments. It's also a nice reset button between patients. There are times where you'll go from something heavy directly into something light-hearted, and that transition is definitely aided by the song choices.

For as much as I love the music and voice acting, I was a little let down by the visuals in Astrologaster. Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of the pop-up book aesthetic, but there isn't enough variety to it. Specifically, it would have been fun to see the shop background change over time. The same goes with the character artwork. We end up spending decades with Simon and many of his patients, so it's disappointing that nobody gets older or changes their clothing. It's to the point where you may not even notice how much time is passing between visits, something I didn't catch until a good way through the surprisingly long adventure. It's the one blemish on what is otherwise a sharply written satire with a great sense of wit and humor.

You don't need the stars to tell you that Astrologaster is a great game. Though the gameplay may be too simple for some players, the pithy dialog and increasingly outlandish scenarios will suck you into this whimsical version of 16th century London. With dozens of music numbers, a giant cast full of kooky characters and a biting and often outrageous social commentary, Astrologaster is a hilarious adventure that isn't afraid to draw a little blood. This is just what the doctor ordered.