Tim Beaudet's Eggcelerate

Did you know that the egg carton was created exactly 110 years ago? It's true! I'm not sure how people transported eggs before that, but I sure hope it wasn't anything like the new game Tim Beaudet's Eggcelerate. This is a pun-filled, physics-based racing game that has us driving random cars through a bunch of obstacle courses with a single egg precariously placed high above the roof. It's easily the least effective way to transport eggs, but does make for a pretty fun game. At least for a while.

If you came here expecting a deep and emotionally moving story, then the yolk is on you. This is a game where you drive around with an egg on the top of your car. That's it. There's no hidden meaning or meta-commentary here; just a simple time trial where you're racing to get a colorful egg from point A to B. If that sounds fun to you, then you're going to have a blast playing through the thirty stages that make up this budget title. You don't need me to sell you on this concept, because you're either into it or you're not. It's that simple.

For those who are into it, you can expect a bunch of fun bite-sized obstacle courses that are designed to screw you up. It's probably worth mentioning that the egg we're transporting isn't tied down or secured in any way. It's in a basket. It will roll out if you take a corner too hard or fly forward if you slam on the brakes. Like I said, this really is a terrible way to transport anything, especially an egg. The driver who does this is just asking for trouble.

And that's before you realize that the road is filled with unruly hills and loop-de-loops. We'll need to dodge everything from sawblades to boxing gloves to those windmills you often see at a miniature golf course. And if that wasn't enough pressure, then let me remind you that the clock is always ticking. You only have twenty or thirty seconds to reach the finish line, so you better hurry.

Eggcelerate is the kind of game where you'll have to retry the stage over and over until you get it right. It's a bit like the Trials series in that sense. The levels may be bite-sized, but you may spend five or ten minutes trying to navigate the corners and perfect the dangerous jump. If that egg falls out of your basket, you'll fail and have to start over from the beginning. The good news is that you can't run out of lives and there's no load time between retries. It will get to the point where you'll start hitting the reset button at the first sign of trouble, not even letting that poor egg land on the hot asphalt. The later stages will definitely put up a challenge, but it shouldn't take you more than two or three hours to complete.

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While the short length doesn't bother me, the complete lack of locations certainly did. Don't get me wrong, the fields and farmland we drive by is scenic and calming. It's a nice shade of green and filled with trees and windmills. But where's the variety? There are a few stages where we drive through outer space for some reason, but then it's right back to the rolling hills and rural roads. This game is in desperate need of some new scenery. Maybe you transport that egg through the desert, or in a city, or on ice, or really anywhere else.

I also wish the obstacles were even more over-the-top. I love the boxing glove and sawblades, but they only hint at the weird and wild things the developer could throw at us. This is a game that pulls its punches and largely plays it safe, giving us exactly what we expect and nothing more. Eggcelerate needed spike pits, objects falling from the sky, earthquakes, moving platforms, fire, ghosts and other fun things to get in the way. And that's just off the top of my head. I'm sure I could come up with a list of hundreds of obstacles if you gave me a few hours, yet we're stuck with the same few from one stage to the next. Why hold back when the concept is this silly? This is your chance to go wild and crazy, and the game ultimately drops the ball ... or egg.

It may not sound like the most egg-citing premise, but Tim Beaudet's Eggcelerate is one shell of a good time. I like the low-polygon look, the challenging obstacles and all of the egg puns. It's a hard-boiled budget title with just enough content to feel like you got your money's worth. That said, it could stand to use more variety in the locations and crazier obstacles. Even though it's a bit runny at times, Eggcelerate is a cracking good time that you should not egg-nore.