Donuts'N'Justice

Just like clockwork, every time I review a game exclusive to PC, one of the first questions in the comments is always somebody asking about a console port. You don't have to go much further than my reviews of Heidelberg 1693 and Record of Lodoss War to see PlayStation, Xbox and Switch owners hopeful that these great looking games come to their favorite systems. If that describes a game that you're hoping gets ported, then I'm here to remind you to never give up. It may take a long time, but there's always a chance. Just look at the 1980s-inspired action game Donuts'N'Justice. From the moment this retro-themed run 'n gun shooter first hit PC back in 2016, console gamers have been begging one-man developer FobTi for a port. Five years later and Donuts'N'Justice has finally come home, giving a whole new audience a chance to take a delicious bite out of crime. But was it worth the lengthy wait? Put down that pastry, because we're about to find out.

Donuts'N'Justice takes us back to an era when sunglasses could be worn at night and putting on socks was optional. That's right, it's the 1980s, when crime flooded the streets and corruption was at an all time high. But don't worry, because buddy cop duo Mike Riggs and Nick Gordon are on the beat to take out thugs, biker gangs and anything else that gets in the way of their donuts and, to a lesser degree, justice.

The action plays out like a more cartoony (and less tone-deaf) version of NARC, where our hero cops slowly walk from left to right shooting pretty much everybody and everything. The gameplay is largely limited to only two buttons, one that shoots the gun to the left and one that shoots to the right. The goal is to weave through the hordes of enemies dodging bullets, picking up power-ups and throwing useful grenades when the cops get into real trouble.

This may sound simple, but don't go into Donuts'N'Justice expecting it to be easy. This is a punishingly difficult shooter where life is fleeting and dying means you have to start over from the very start of the level. Individually, these enemies aren't that difficult to take down. However, those pesky criminals have a bad habit of swarming the cops, which never ends well. The gang members are like zombies in that sense. With bullets flying everywhere and enemies rushing you from all sides, there's a feeling that you're never safe. This is the kind of game where you should expect to die over and over until you get it right.

Thankfully, the game knows you're going to need help and is good about unlocking new guns. Mike and Nick will pick up badges dropped by certain enemies, which will go towards earning shotguns, missile launchers, uzis, freeze guns, and all kinds of other hardware, which you'll pick up at random from item drop-offs. You'll also be able to boost the power of these guns for a few seconds and even slow down time by eating a green donut. I'm not entirely sure how that works, but it's easily the most useful item found in the entire game. It's not even close.

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Oddly enough, the one time you won't need these weapons and power-ups is when you're going up against one of the five bosses. For a game that prides itself on being brutally tough, I was surprised by the embarrassingly easy boss battles. You can beat all of them in well under a minute, usually without taking any damage. There's no need to memorize patterns or find a weak spot, because just as long as you shoot and move around, you'll never die. Even the final (and supposedly hardest) boss is a complete pushover, to the point where I was honestly a little shocked when there wasn't more to the fight.

This may be one of the weakest parts of the game, but it's far from the only problem plaguing Donuts'N'Justice. With only four levels to play through, this is one of those games that ends right as it's starting to get good. Even by the standards of 1980s arcade games, this is a short and shallow shoot 'em up that is over far too quickly. And once the credits roll, there's very little reason to keep playing. The only thing that gets unlocked is a special Boss Rush mode, which repackages one of the weakest parts of the entire game.

But even if there were more levels and the boss fights were better, I would still find Donuts'N'Justice to be lacking that special ingredient. The problem is that the core shoot 'em up action isn't very fun and the gunplay is never satisfying. It doesn't help that the camera perspective makes it difficult to dodge enemy fire and attacks, resulting in a lot of cheap hits and frustrating deaths. The graphics look good and the soundtrack is certainly catchy, but Donuts'N'Justice is a half-baked idea that never lives up to its potential as either an action-packed shoot 'em up or a parody of the 1980s. And let me tell you, you definitely don't want to eat a half-baked donut.