Kalinur

One of the best things about the Metroivania formula is that you can shove just about anything you want into it and it will probably still be a lot of fun. Want one starring a luchador with beat ‘em up elements? No problem, we’ve got a couple of those. Or what about a scary one straight out of a horror movie? Done. How about something with Batman or based on that forgettable Mummy movie starring Tom Cruise? Yeah, you get the point; you can make one of these games about literally anything. And that brings me to Kalinur, a new game that forgoes the gimmicks and fresh ideas, choosing instead to give players the same old castle-stomping they’ve seen countless times before. Is it time for a back-to-basics Metroidvania game? That’s what we’re about to find out when I review Kalinur.

Inspired by 8-bit classics like Mega Man and Castlevania, Kalinur tells the all-too-familiar story of an evil wizard who uses deceit and trickery to take control of the kingdom and turn the castle into a realm of chaos. It’s now up to a brave warrior with a very long sword to fight the monsters, save the princess and defeat the evil wizard Kalinur before it’s too late.

Our hero does this by exploring a large, interconnected castle filled with monsters. It plays by the standard Metroidvania rules, where certain parts of the castle are off-limits until you either find the right item or ability in order to progress. For example, you’ll find that a lot of the early parts of the castle are off-limits until we find an item granting our hero the ability to double-jump. There are also magical doors that will open if you have the right keys. It’s all fairly standard stuff for the genre.

Visually, Kalinur reminds me a lot of Nintendo Entertainment System games like Mega Man. Our character is short and controls well, which is great news when you get to the more platform-heavy bits. He’s packing a really large sword instead of a futuristic blaster, but the result is largely the same. The castle is full of classic 8-bit obstacles (like spike pits and floating platforms), and it even looks like it could run on hardware from the 1980s. The game is definitely nostalgic in that sense.

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The best thing Kalinur has going for it is that it controls well. It’s so often that these throwback games will get the look right, but fumble when it comes to the gameplay. Between the jumping and stabbing, this game plays exactly how you want it to. The handling is tight and responsive, and even when I stumbled my way through the tougher platforming sections, I never once felt like it was the fault of the gameplay. If there’s a case to be made for this game, it’s that Kalinur is a well-playing action game that gets the fundamentals right.

The problem is that it doesn’t do much more than that. If you’ve played even one or two Metroidvania games before, then you will have likely seen most of what Kalinur has to offer. It plays out like a greatest hits package, giving you one familiar item after another. Pretend to be excited when we’re finally able to double jump or perform a short dash move. The most unique items you pick up is a relic that will show how much damage you’re doing to the enemies, which ends up being completely useless. There’s nothing here you haven’t seen dozens of times before.

And did I mention that the bosses are atrocious? This is one of the few action games that front-loads all of the best battles. There comes a point about halfway through where you’ll be able to defeat every boss by simply standing still and hammering the attack button as fast as possible. There’s no strategy needed, just stand next to the boss and mash a single button. This worked over and over and over, across multiple boss fights. It’s almost as if these battles were an after-thought.

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Now, when it comes right down to it, I can live with generic power-ups and a few boring boss battles, especially when the gameplay is good. What I cannot accept are game-breaking bugs. Kalinur is one of those rare games I couldn’t beat because of technical issues. I fought my way to the final section of the castle with all of the items necessary to defeat evil once and for all ... and then, completely out of nowhere, my game crashed. Yeah, that sucks, but it’s not the first time that’s happened when reviewing a game. What I didn’t expect was for the crash to be so bad that it corrupted my save file, forcing me to start over from the very beginning. Fearing the exact same thing would happen, I decided not to waste my time.

As frustrating as the game-breaking bugs may be, I’m not sure it changes my opinion much. Even if had been able to beat the final boss and save the day, I doubt I would have recommended Kalinur. The abilities are too generic and the game offers nothing new to the Metroidvania genre. This is one of the most crowded spaces when it comes to indie games, so it’s disappointing to see how by-the-numbers this newest iteration is. The formula can still be a lot of fun, but there are literally hundreds of adventure games you should buy before Kalinur.