Maiden Cops

Is the new game Maiden Cops for you? Let’s find out: Are you a fan of old school beat ‘em ups like Final Fight? Do you like looking at large-breasted anime girls in skimpy outfits? If you answered “yes” to either of these two questions, then you’re the target audience for this fun (and risqué) throwback brawler from the makers of Wife Quest. With gorgeous pixel graphics, wonderfully-detailed levels and a fun cast of anime girls, is this raunchy game the beat ‘em up of the year? That’s what we’re about to find out when I review Maiden Cops from Pippen Games.

Breaking News: The once-peaceful Maiden City has been overrun by a nefarious separatist movement known as The Liberators, and it’s up to the Maiden Cops to clean up the streets. This sets up a fun (albeit familiar) brawler where Priscila, Nina and Meiga punch and kick criminals across seven of the most violent parts of Maiden City.

Now, in case you’re wondering, yes, there are men in Maiden City. They sometimes line the streets and show up in the backgrounds. But the few men that actually appear in this game aren’t part of the action, because this is strictly anime girls fighting other anime girls. And I specifically say “girls” because the average age appears to be around 15. There’s no way anybody (including the mayor) is old enough to drink.

When you strip away the anime girls and skimpy costumes, what you’re left with is a fun and surprisingly faithful beat ‘em up. You can punch, jump and pull off a series of different combos and special moves, as well as pick up weapons and throwable objects. Each stage is broken up into several parts, all leading up to a boss fight with another powerful anime girl. You’ll also find that the three playable cops are markedly different, with one being fast and weak, one being strong and slow and one being right in the middle. Not unlike Haggar, Cody and Guy in Final Fight.

Speaking of which, if you’ve played that game, or even Streets of Rage, then Maiden City is going to look incredibly familiar. It’s basically a greatest hits package of crime-ridden locations from all your favorite brawlers. Hey look, you’re fighting on a subway, in a baseball stadium, on the freeway, past the sandy beach and on multiple elevators. While not especially original, Maiden Cops does a good job of adding its own personality and charm to the surroundings. These are good looking stages that have multiple parts to them.

While it’s not going to win a ton of points for originality, Maiden Cops gets almost everything right. It makes some wise decisions that helps to elevate the familiar material. A good example of that is the block button. This is something I’ve been wanting to see in brawlers for a long time. You’re also not spending time punching enemies off-screen, like so many games in this genre. When an enemy looks like it’s going to get punched off-screen, it hits the side and bounces back, allowing for a chance to literally juggle the bad guys. That’s a good choice.

And change comes in the form of the special move, or, in this case, moves. Plural. It used to be that when things got hairy, you could smash the buttons together and the hero would do some sort of big, disruptive attack at the cost of a little health. Each of the cops get three different big, disruptive attacks, but the good news is that it won’t cost any of your hit points. Instead there’s a meter that fills as you fight through the stage and you can unleash them at any time, assuming the meter is full enough. Each of the special attacks is a little different, and I like that they are mapped to three different buttons. You’ll definitely want to incorporate them more into the flow of the combat, unlike a game like Final Fight, where you would only pull out the move when you were in trouble.

Another smart thing this game does is offer a lot of extras to unlock. You’ll earn cash as you pick up dropped objects, like purses, jewelry and, yes, even panties. You can spend that cash on new music, pictures, outfits and cheat codes. While they can’t be used when you try to get on the online leaderboard, the cheats are a lot of fun to tinker around with and give you plenty of incentive to replay the game over and over again.

Visually, this game is incredibly sharp. You’ll immediately notice that it looks like an old arcade game, what with the rounded corners and scanlines. However, even when you take away the filters, the game still looks the part. The pixel characters are gorgeous, and not just for the obvious reasons. I also appreciate the attention to detail in each level. Although we’re going to some pretty familiar areas, the game does an excellent job giving them a unique personality. There’s a lot of world building in these stages, and I love how I was still noticing small details after several play-throughs.

One of the things I didn’t like about Maiden Cops is the way it handled the items you pick up. For a beat ‘em up, there is a shocking lack of health items in this game. And you’re going to need them, too, because it’s easy to get ganged up on and take cheap (and damaging) hits. You don’t even get a health recharge between levels. There are only a couple of health items, and they are few and far between. What makes all this even more frustrating is that items that you might expect to refill your health (like a candy bar or soda) will only give you cash. What’s that about? Why even have these food items if they aren’t going to refill part of my health bar?

With barely any health-pickups in the level, I found myself holding back more and relying on the special moves. This is especially true with the boss characters, who are always surrounded by at least two aggressive guards. I wanted to get in there and kick anime ass, but it’s safer to just dodge and block until your power attack is ready to go. When it starts to impact the flow of the combat, that’s how you know there aren’t enough health items. This game is too stingy.

There are other problems, but most are just the usual issues associated with this style of beat ‘em up. For example, it’s definitely repetitive. Even with the different attacks, combos and special moves, a lot of the game revolves around button mashing bad guys until they’re dead. Personally speaking, I love this type of thing, but I can certainly understand if you find this style of gameplay to be dated and boring. If you’re not a fan of brawlers, this one probably won’t win you over. Even if you love looking at anime girls in skimpy outfits.

That said, if you’re a fan of beat ‘em ups and you don’t mind the risqué approach, then you’re going to have a great time playing through Maiden Cops. This is a fun and well-made brawler that elevates the genre with a number of smart gameplay decisions and tons of extras to unlock. In a world where most games with sexy anime girls half-ass the “game” part of the equation, this one manages to stand on its own and show the world that a game can be sexy and still be great. Imagine that.