The year is 1994 and Green Day just got into rock 'n rolls biggest mud fight. It was the year when Ace of Base saw The Sign, Forrest Gump dominated at the box office and The Arsenio Hall Show was canceled for the first time. But we're not here to talk about the things that make you go hmmmmm, because today we're counting down Electronic Gaming Monthly's worst reviewed games of 1994. Whoop, whoop, whoop!
Trevor McFur in Crescent Valley
#5
I'm a bit of a defender of the Jaguar, but even I have to admit that Atari stumbled right out of the gate. Perhaps one of their worst decisions was to launch with Trevor McFur in Crescent Valley, a shiny 2D side-scrolling shoot 'em up starring a Jaguar named Trevor and Cutter the Lynx. Get it? It's a jaguar and lynx, just like the Atari consoles. That's probably how being clever works. Anyway, this game sucks and EGM couldn't even be bothered to give it the full review treatment.
"For one of the first games for the new Atari Jaguar system, Trevor is very disappointing. The graphics are very nice, but the game is not very challenging. Not to mention the controller cramps your hand. Surely they can do better."
That's it. That's the whole review. Trevor picked up mostly 4s, with Ed Semrad giving it a 5 and Mike Weigand going as low as a 3. For a launch game, Trevor barely got a mention. And with an average of 4 out of 10, it's easy to see why.
Super Off-Road
#4
Hey, remember how Trevor McFur was a jaguar and his partner, Cutter, was a Lynx? Well, in case you didn't get why that was uproariously funny, then I'm here to spell it out for you by following up the Jaguar review with a Lynx review of Super Off-Road. Get it now? And no, I didn't plan it that way; it was just a lucky coincidence.
"There isn't a whole lot to say about Super Off-Road," starts Al Manuel. "The only thing that comes to mind is how badly it suffers from poor gameplay." This was an opinion echoed throughout the review crew, with the rest of the staff calling it disappointing and giving it 4s. "While the game has decent graphics and most of the features from the arcade, the game plays so poorly and the movement of the trucks is incredibly choppy." With an average of 3.75 out of 10, Super Off-Road proves that not every game belongs on the Lynx.
Way of the Warrior
#3
Long before Nathan Drake, Crash Bandicoot or even Jak and Daxter, Naughty Dog was busy developing the 3DO's most memorable fighting game, Way of the Warrior. Unfortunately, it was memorable for all the wrong reasons. The digitized characters looked great and nobody can deny the rockin' soundtrack, but as Danyon Carpenter notes, "this game isn't even good by accident."
The truth is, you know something is wrong when fake ninja fighting game expert Sushi-X starts his review by saying: "Um, hello?" He argued that "the fighters' moves are very difficult to pull off, and some characters have very unfair advantages over others." This opinion was shared by Al, who praised the presentation before concluding that "it looks as if too much time was spent on pretty graphics, rather than a fighting game that was at least playable." I think there might be a reason Naughty Dog never returned to the fighting genre. Way of the Warrior averages a horrible 3.75 out of 10.
Time Killers
#2
Now this is something you don't see every day. EGM's second worst reviewed game of 1994 didn't actually come out in 1994. Hell, it didn't even come out in 1995. As crazy as this sounds, Time Killers was actually canceled by THQ not long after this review hit newsstands and then later picked up for a 1996 release by Black Pearl. Judging by these reviews, perhaps it should have remained dead.
"Come on! I didn't even like the arcade game to begin with and to make things worse, it's now on a home system ... why?" Well, Al, there's a simple answer to that question: Controversy sells. After they saw what happened to Night Trap and Mortal Kombat, THQ was blinded by the prospect of earning lots of money. It's that simple. Danyon sums it up as "what could have been a decent arcade translation, even though the arcade version was bad to begin with, was unfortunately mangled in this home translation." Both critics gave the game a 3 out of 10.
Just about the only thing keeping Time Killers from being the worst reviewed game of the year is a surprisingly solid score from Ed. Giving it a 5 out of 10, he complains that "this cart has absolutely no control, the special three-button attack takes out most of the fun, and it doesn't look much better than an 8-bitter." He even ends his review by saying that he wouldn't recommend it to anybody. Ed's score manages to raise the average to a score of 3.5 out of 10.
Cliffhanger
#1
Cliffhanger is the reason a lot of critics were initially dubious about the PlayStation. It wasn't just Cliffhanger, but rather Sony's entire line of games leading up to the 1995 launch. This is the company that published Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, 3 Ninjas Kick Back and Last Action Hero, so it's easy to understand the concern. Cliffhanger on the Nintendo Entertainment System was the worst of the bunch, leading Sushi-X to wonder, "what is going on with this game?"
"I know it's NES, but even for 8-bit this thing is far behind its time and capabilities." Ed backed him up, noting that "Cliffhanger is a feeble attempt with a license" and "the graphics are very poor, even when compared to other 8-bit games." I think it's Al who ends up putting it best: "The only redeeming quality of the game is that you can turn it off."
Just about the only positive I could find is one of the editors kind of liking the movie. "Cliffhanger was a decent flick," explains Danyon. So if you're looking for a decent flick, perhaps give Cliffhanger a shot. Or don't. He doesn't seem all that invested in it. One thing is clear; Cliffhanger is not a game worth grabbing onto.
