Earlier this week, I posted a comprehensive look at Electronic Gaming Monthly's final reviews for every system they covered. At least, I thought it was comprehensive, but I was wrong. Immediately after I posted the episode, everybody (including a former member of EGM's Review Crew) reached out to tell me that I missed the Nuon, a short-lived DVD technology from VM Labs that failed to make much of a splash back in 2000. How could I have missed this?
The answer is surprisingly simple: It's because the Nuon was never officially part of the Review Crew. It also didn't get its own standalone feature. Believe it or not, all of the Nuon reviews were crammed into the very last place you would look – the news section. Who puts a bunch of reviews next to the hard-hitting news? No wonder I skipped right over the system.
To make up for this oversight, I want to countdown Electronic Gaming Monthly's top four Nuon games. Now, you may snicker that we're only covering four games, but it's worth mentioning that the Nuon only had eight games, and one of them was exclusive to South Korea. We can also drop Iron Soldier 3, which was briefly released before being recalled. In other words, Electronic Gaming Monthly managed to review four of the six games, which is 67% of the catalog. Hey, that's not bad. So come, join me as I make things right and countdown Electronic Gaming Monthly's top four Nuon games. Don't laugh, this is serious.
Merlin Racing (Nuon)
#4
“I guess I could see my kids playing Merlin Racing (if I had any), but even as a kid's game, this title really doesn't deliver. A shameless Mario Kart ripoff, the weapons in Merlin Racing seem limited to different mines and grenades, a straight-shot missile, homing missile and a shield. It's all very mundane, since there's no strategy involved like having to hold a weapon behind you to shield your driver from incoming projectiles. Even the driving itself is boring. The track design is middling at best and the sense of speed is almost non-existent. Unfortunately, the game's difficulty takes a dramatic upswing as soon as you hit the first boss. It's around that point that most children will lose interest, older gamers having already given up on this junk. There's really nothing that makes this game stand out. It's definitely not worth buying a Nuon for.” (3.5 out of 10)
The Next Tetris DLX (Nuon)
#3
“For those of you who don't know what The Next Tetris is, a quick primer: It's Tetris, where each stage begins with a few randomly placed blocks. When you clear those, the stage ends and your rank goes up based on your speed. The pieces are the same familiar Tetris shapes, but made of different colors that can break apart and fall into slots, filling up holes to clear more lines. I'm not a big fan of The Next Tetris for any system – I prefer good ol' Tetris any day – but the Nuon version is decent, if nothing special. There's very few options and really no other play modes, unless you count marathon. Classic Tetris is also included – thank god – and while it looks fine and controls OK using the Nuon D-pad, it's also inexcusably bare boned. The music is forgettable, there are absolutely no settings or options for difficulty or anything else, and worst of all, no two-player mode. Yeah, it's Tetris and it's free with the Toshiba SD2300, but it's not quite as good as even your average version of the game.” (4 out of 10)
Ballistic (Nuon)
#2
“I bet you all thought the days of pack-in games ended with the 16-bit craze, right? Well, the Nuon is taking the initiative and setting things right again by boxing Ballistic with the Samsung Extiva. Ballistic looks like it could have been a Super NES game, but it's a fun diversion and rather challenging, as puzzle games go. Haven't played it on another platform? The object is to keep a long string of spiraling spheres from reaching your launcher at the center of the screen by clearing them away. Balls of different colors are fed along the spiral track as you fire similar balls from your launcher at them, attempting to break up the line. When you fire a ball to line up three or more of the same color, they all disappear. Pretty simple, huh? A reason to purchase a Nuon it's not, but if you're planning on picking one up anyway, you'll probably spend a good while with this title. The lack of internal memory is kind of annoying, as you can't save your high scores. Maybe Samsung should have packed in a pen and paper, too.” (5 out of 10)
Tempest 3000 (Nuon)
#1
“I am a big fan of the Jaguar Tempest 2000 and its PlayStation/Saturn incarnations, so I went into this game thinking it was going to be great, and I wasn't letdown ... completely. Without question, the subtle nuances added to the gameplay make this the best Tempest ever. The new hover ability, trippy bonus levels, webs that change shape, enemies that disappear/reappear, being able to add time to your super-zapper – the list of additions goes on and on. It's also really hard, but keeps a sense of humor with level names like “Now You Hate Me” and “Ribbed for Extra Pleasure.” But the blurry graphics will likely kill the enjoyment for all but the staunchest classic gamers. I can see that the intent was for webs to look like beams of light, but it's carried out to an extreme, sometimes at the expense of gameplay. Maybe someone will sharpen it up a bit and put it on another system. A strong game if you already bought a Nuon.” (6.5 out of 10)
