Last week, Nintendo surprised everybody by releasing
Kirby Tilt ‘N' Tumble on the Nintendo Switch Online. This marked the little puffball's ninth appearance on the subscription service, with the tenth on the way in the form of Kirby & the Amazing Mirror. Clearly Nintendo loves Kirby and his cartoony friends, but what did Electronic Gaming Monthly think of the series back in the day? How does a game like Tilt ‘N' Tumble rank compared to the more traditional side-scrolling adventures?
In case you're wondering EGM reviewed a total of 12 Kirby games between 1998 and 2008. That's a good chunk of both the mainline series and spin-offs, but there are some weird omissions. For example, they did not review the original Dream Land release on Game Boy, they skipped right over the aforementioned Amazing Mirror and didn't bother with Kirby's Avalanche (
despite giving the almost identical Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine a solid 7.6 out of 10). But let's not dwell on the few titles they missed, because they reviewed more than enough classics to give us a great list. What we're going to do today is countdown the best and worst Kirby games using Electronic Gaming Monthly's own words and scores. There's no editorializing here, we're going to focus on what the critics said back when these games first came out. So, go and grab a big bag of marshmallows, because this episode of EGM Ranks Kirby will definitely suck ... on purpose.
Kirby Tilt ‘N' Tumble (Game Boy Color)
#12
“As a Kirby fan, I'll say that I like Tilt ‘N' Tumble, but it would've been better if there was an option to play it with the control pad. Its biggest problem is the tilt technology. You need to have the GB under direct light to see what you're doing, but you have to tilt it for control, making it nearly impossible to play unless you're in an area flooded with light (like outside on a sunny day). Forget about playing it on a plane, in a car, or with a third-party light. Plus, it's not always easy to get the tilt calibrated. Aside from that, I love the mini-games and the graphics are up to what you'd expect from Nintendo. Good fun, but the tilt drags it down.” (6.2 out of 10)
Kirby: Squeak Squad (Nintendo DS)
#11
“Yeah, what's up with the game not doing anything nearly as innovative with the touch screen like Canvas Curse did? At least we find out that, despite popular belief that he's filled with yummy custard, Kirby actually just holds power-ups in his stomach. The multiplayer games are nothing special and more of a game of ‘Who can scratch the shit out of their screen with their stylist the fastest?' Frankly, playing with the contents of Kirby's tummy will just have you hungry for something of more substance.” (6.7 out of 10)
Kirby Air Ride (GameCube)
#10
“The unfortunately titled Kirby Air Ride is a tough game to review. It seems like the developers really put a lot of effort into making it a polished, complete racer, which is definitely a good thing. The problem is, I just can't manage to keep myself interested enough to bother completing many of [the modes]. See, Air Ride's one-button gameplay was designed to be simple, but unfortunately, anyone over the age of 7 will likely find it to be way too simple. Air Ride's one redeeming factor is its multiplayer, but even so, it's more likely to appeal to a younger crowd than anyone interested in serious racing.” (7 out of 10)
Kirby's Pinball Land (Game Boy)
#9
“OK Game Boy, green is an annoying look to have to play anything on yet, I just can't help but like that puffy little Kirby guy. If you have to take a portable with you, this one is cute and quite addicting. Normally I don't care for video pinball, but this has decent graphics and sounds for the little green machine. Features like second chance balls, moving targets and multilevel play make it a more than bearable cart to tote.” (7.25 out of 10)
Kirby's Dream Land 2 (Game Boy)
#8
“Okay, I guess I'm just a softy for the little cream puff, Kirby. I actually got into this game, believe it or not. I guess old Sushi may have to re-evaluate his stance on the Game Boy. What made this game worth it, besides the added benefit of being portable, was the cute characters. Kirby and his friends have a bunch of cute attacks. I just found myself playing more and more to see Kirby's next friend and what his powers might be. It is a simple game, but really cute!” (7.6 out of 10)
Kirby's Block Ball (Game Boy)
#7
“This newest outing of Nintendo's I've-Seen-Him-Everywhere Kirby character is an addictive little game with simplistic graphics and no screen scrolling. In other words, it's an ideal Game Boy title. Kirby's Blockball takes the basic smash-the-blocks theme built by Breakout and Arkanoid and adds bonus levels, more paddles and super powers that let you knock out bunches of blocks at once. And these powers are a nice touch, since you'll need careful aim to acquire them. Still, even with lousy aim, the game is still a little too easy – and short enough to beat during one long car trip. But Kirby's Blockball is geared towards gamers ages six and up, after all.” (7.9 out of 10)
Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land
(Game Boy Advance)
#6
“Kirby will automatically appeal to Hello Kitty fans, Pokemaniacs, and anyone who can appreciate a lovable pink blob. It's a simple game, and therein lies the appeal – you float Kirby around colorful, straight-forward levels, meeting and beating on other cute little blobular enemies. It's so easy, you can just sit back and enjoy the high cuteness factor without having to repeat sections over and over to get past them. The stages are short and manageable, so you can fly through them pounding on every baddie or just choose your favorite to pick on. The game doesn't last long, but maybe that's good: Before His Puffy Pinkness has the chance to get annoying, you're done!” (8 out of 10)
Kirby's Adventure (NES)
#5
“Can Nintendo pick winners or what? Kirby's Adventure is an absolute blast to play! Kirby's ability to acquire techniques from eaten enemies is fantastic. Incredible game play with tons of power-ups keeps you glued to the screen. A vast improvement over the Game Boy version, I can't wait for the Super NES.” (8.25 out of 10)
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
(Nintendo 64)
#4
“I have to tell you, Kirby is the absolute cutest little guy I've ever seen in the world of gaming. He's one of the few ridiculously wholesome-looking characters that still has an edge – and it shows through in this amazing new Kirby installment. Even with its cuteness and cartoon graphics, Kirby 64 is for anyone (male or female) who loves a solid platformer. It's filled with more fun gameplay than you can shake a stick at – just be careful not to accidentally skewer Kirby and start roasting him. The sheer number of things Kirby can change into, and the way these personas can be used against a particular enemy or to find a hidden item is really entertaining.” (8.3 out of 10)
Kirby Super Star (Super NES)
#3
“I don't understand why I like this game, I'm almost ashamed of it. It's just that this cart is a pinata packed full of little goodies. Some of the side games are so simple in concept but are, well, fun. For example, one stage just has two players facing off. When the game tells you to draw, the first player to hit his/her button wins. It's so stupid! Maybe it's an ego thing, because I find myself wanting to play this against the other folks in the office. The side-scroller is awesome; full of action, full of power-ups, full of excitement. You'll just have to experience it to understand what I mean. Once you play it with a friend, you'll be hooked.” (8.6 out of 10)
Kirby: Canvas Curse (Nintendo DS)
#2
“Canvas Curse is the first DS game from Nintendo that really delivers the kind of quality and polish I've come to expect from the company. It's also Nintendo's first DS game, aside from maybe Mario 64, that doesn't have that “glorified tech demo” feel to it. Kirby has eight worlds, 20-plus stages, bosses, minigames – the whole package. Another Yoshi Touch & Go this is not.” (8.8 out of 10)
Kirby: Super Star Ultra (Nintendo DS)
#1
“If you've played any of the Super Smash Bros. games and wondered where a good deal of the items and characters come from, chances are you've never played a proper Kirby game. Super Star Ultra is an enhanced remake of the excellent Super NES platforming classic Kirby: Super Star, with some DS bells ‘n whistles thrown in for good measure. The Meta Knightmare Ultra mode essentially consists of repeating portions of the game that you've already seen, but with an overpowered Meta Knight instead of Kirby. It's an issue further exacerbated by Kirby's inelegant level design; it's clever at times, but compared to the Mario games from that era, Ultra's filled with flat, wasted space that platforming vets won't have any trouble with. At the same time, that problem's easy to tolerate, because Kirby and company are just too damn cute and cheerful. If Smash Bros. piqued your interest, Ultra's your next step.” (A- out of A+)
BREAKING NEWS: Cyril at the Defunct Games news desk with some breaking Kirby information. We've been sent some late-breaking details from former EGM editor and friend of Defunct Games, Greg Sewart, that adds some much-needed context to one of the reviews we talked about today. Here's what Greg said about his time sitting next to somebody reviewing Kirby Tilt ‘N' Tumble:
That is hilarious, and I can just picture him trying to move that Wide Boy 64 around trying to make it work. Thank you Greg for the story, and don't forget to subscribe to
his YouTube channel. Tell him Cyril sent you.