In just a few weeks, The Simpsons will be kicking off their 35th season. That's right, The Simpsons started their record-breaking run all the way back in 1989, and that's not even including the shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show. We don't get a lot of Simpsons games these days, but there was a time when Bart, Lisa, Homer and the rest of the clan were on just about every handheld and console you could imagine. And that got me wondering what Electronic Gaming Monthly thought of these Simpsons games. Which was their favorite?
Now, in case you're wondering, EGM reviewed a total of ten Simpsons games between 1991 and 2003. That includes most of the big 2D titles from the early days, as well as the early 2000s slate of 3D releases. Unfortunately, they didn't review many of the handheld games and completely ignored the spin-off titles starring Krusty the Clown and Itchy & Scratch. What we're going to do today is countdown the best and worst Simpsons games using Electronic Gaming Monthly's own words and scores. There's no editorializing here, we're going to focus on what the critics said back when these games first came out. So, prepare to overstay your welcome when EGM Ranks The Simpsons.
The Simpsons Wrestling (PlayStation)
#10
“When Fox started shopping around for someone else to publish this title, you knew there was a problem. I'm sure the characters alone will sell loads of Simpsons Wrestling stock, but personally, I'm not impressed. What this comes down to is a kind of sloppy-looking game that's nothing more than a button-masher. Yeah, there are a few neat moves you can do when you power-up, and having so many Simpsons characters and voices is a definite plus, but boredom set in for me almost immediately after I started playing. Imagine this thing with a game engine closer to something like SmackDown 2. Now that would be loads of fun.” (3.2 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Road Rage (Xbox)
#9
“Crazy Taxi and The Simpsons both rule, but this shameless rip-off is a rental at best. The throwaway storyline, endless loading times, small environments and barely Dreamcast-quality graphics are instant turn-offs. Without rewards for Crazy Drifts, Crazy Throughs or any of the other signature Crazy Taxi maneuvers, the dull gameplay bores. Sure, there are tons of characters and levels to unlock, but just keep playing and eventually you'll get them all, regardless of your skill. Also, the stunningly unfun Mission mode is no Crazy Box. For a better experience, buy a used Dreamcast and Crazy Taxi for the same price and then watch Simpsons reruns on TV.” (3.7 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World (NES)
#8
“While the qualities of the original Simpsons game were questionable, this game is put together poorly. You travel the world working out a variety of simple puzzles in scrolling action sequences that feature haphazard interaction and only minor challenge. Could have been much better.” (4 out of 10)
Virtual Bart (Super NES)
#7
“Hey, why not an adaptation of the Simpsons' Arcade Game? This one just plain misses the mark. The control is awful (like on the dinosaur stage), the stages unappealing and the whole thing seems rushed.” (4.8 out of 10)
The Simpsons Skateboarding (PlayStation 2)
#6
“This game made me want to release the hounds. Didn't anyone care enough to make this more than merely an average skateboarding game with the Simpsons license plopped on top? My biggest complaint is that the characters don't actually move by default. Instead, they stand still until you push them, and jumping has the buoyancy of Homer after a big box of glazed doughnuts. Plus, Kent Brockman's voice narrating every move is creepy and annoying. Still, if you learn the mechanics and accept the fact that repetitive grinding – rather than the few fun tricks – is the key to success, it's not a terrible game, just a disappointing one.” (5 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Bart and the Beanstalk (Game Boy)
#5
“Youza, this is a toughee. While I always welcome a challenging game, this one can be frustrating. Nintendo may be trying to market the Game Boy as the ultimate yuppie toy, but games like this are way too challenging for kids. This game also suffers from slow responsiveness, average graphics and buzzy sounds. If you must own every Bart game in existence, you may have fun with it, but don't expect greatness.” (5.25 out of 10)
Virtual Bart (Genesis)
#4
“Virtual Bart is a nice collection of action games that will keep you entertained for a bit, especially the tomato toss, but that interest wears thin. I never understood why the “virtual” theme was even needed, but it is the buzzword these days. Graphics are decent; sounds are okay, but it's just another Simpsons' game. Nothing exciting here, folks. Take the safe route and rent this puppy to see if it's your cup of tea.” (5.25 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World (Game Gear)
#3
“I remember this one back from the NES days. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. The game plays very slowly and there's no real control of Bart. Sure, some of the scenes may look pretty detailed, but it's just not very exciting and not very fun. Don't get me completely wrong, here. It's better than Bart vs. the Space Mutants and more playable, but it just doesn't offer enough excitement.” (6.75 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants (NES)
#2
“Aye Carumba! While this game won't get any awards for graphics, the sound is pretty good, featuring digitized phrases like “eat my shorts” and “cool man” from Bart himself. Lots of different things to do in order to accomplish the goal of each level. Makes you laugh and use your head.” (7 out of 10)
The Simpsons: Hit & Run (PlayStation 2, Xbox & GameCube)
#1
“Is this a shameless GTA clone and a licensed Simpsons game? Yes. It certainly is. That's two strikes against it, right? Actually, those are the game's strengths. Hit & Run is so good at capturing the show's spirit and copying a great game that it turns out to be real, honest-to-God fun for anyone who digs the show. H&R's genuinely funny dialogue and seamless driving controls make cruising around Springfield plenty entertaining, even without gunfire and prostitution. The on-foot platforming sections aren't as fun, but at least they involve appropriate Simpsons-themed goals, like when Homer has to round up and return a bunch of stuff he had “borrowed” from Flanders. If you still laugh at your friends' non sequitur Simpsons quotations, play this game.” (7.2 out of 10)
