In this world filled with disasters, corruption, and pure evil, it's important to have our reporters. They offer insight, intelligence, and a face to put the news with. Of all the reporters in this world, few are finer than CNN's own Wolf Blitzer. A decade ago his reporting was made famous when he covered the War in the Gulf.

Not unlike Wolf, Candy Blitzer (from Total Carnage) is also a reporter covering a war in something that LOOKS like the gulf. Knowing this is her big break, Candy has prepared on end for this event. Well, she may have gone to school, she may have done the time, but she didn't plan to be attacked by a huge green mutant monster!

So what does all this mean? It means that there's a Blitzer out there that Wolf isn't telling us about. Note how she doesn't really look like the esteemed reporter. Could it be by marriage? But wait a second ... isn't Wolf married? Oh my goodness, my head is starting to explode. Maybe it's time for Wolf to do some explaining. So tell us, Wolf, who is the Blitzer? Sister? Cousin? Sounds like it's time to get a private investigators, search the world, and put out a ransom. We have a Blitzer to find!