This year's E3 left us with more questions than it answered. Are we to believe that what each company showed off was on the level? What should we think of the Game Boy Micro? And what are we to think of the absent Revolution controller? The event was so big
and confusing
"Security! Security! Quick, tackle that man ... he doesn't have the badge on!!"
that we knew there was only one way we could get all of our questions answered and still have time to update the rest of the site. We knew it was drastic, but if we were going to get to the bottom of E3's mysteries then we would have to get a hold of John Lennon, Scott McClellan, and a Magic 8-Ball!
On their own they might not seem like much, but together this is a force to be reckoned with. Each comes with their own advantages and disadvantages, each seeing only a glimpse of our fate. But when you put them together they are able to show our future with more accuracy than those broads from Minority Report! Well ... maybe that's not true, but we have a Magic 8-Ball, and nobody can argue that the Magic 8-Ball should be trusted 100% of the time.
If you're not a fan of the Magic 8-Ball we've decided to talk to White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan and an old friend John Lennon (who you can talk to
). We're not going to suggest that what they had to say was useful or even insightful, but it sure is entertaining. Ultimately we're probably still going to be left scratching our heads over what happened at E3, but thanks to three different helpers we can feel that most of the big shockers won't come as a surprise.
John
Lennon
Magic
8 Ball
Scott
McClellan
Are those PlayStation 3 graphics really in-game video?
What are you doing in my kitchen?
It is certain
There will be a time to talk about this, but now is not the time to talk about it.
Should we be worried that Infinium Lab's Phantom game system failed to show up this year?
Really?
Don't count on it
Well, first of all, you're wrong. This is all relating to questions about an ongoing investigation, and I've been through this.
Does the Xbox 360 have an advantage by launching months before its competition?
I know it does now (tee hee)
Outlook good
Again, you're continuing to ask questions relating to an ongoing criminal investigation, and I'm just not going to respond any further.
Do you think Sony will change the look of the PS3 control?
That's your idea. I think it's a self-conscious English thing. No park is worth dying for.
Ask again later
I think we've exhausted discussion on this the last couple of days.
Should PSP gamers be worried about the lack of any real big announce- ments?
Where are you?
Most likely
Again, I've nothing to add on this discussion, and if we have any other topics you want to discuss, I'll be glad to do that.
Does the world really need a Game Boy Micro?
Most likely
Reply hazy try again
This is still coming at the same question relating to reports about an ongoing investigation, and I think I've responded to it.
Do you think Sony is making a mistake putting their hopes into Blu-Ray DVD?
That's your idea. A lot of people in different countries are saying, "Oh, yes, that's what I think."
It is certain
We can continue to go round and round on all these –
Does it seem strange to you that Treasure has decided to make a sequel to Gunstar Heroes?
You never can tell, you know
As I see it yes
Again, after the investigation is complete, I will be glad to talk about it at that point.
Do you think the Gizmondo can succeed in a market dominated by the PSP and Nintendo DS?
That's your idea. Yeah, sure. (that's an in-joke)
You may rely on it
Do you have questions on another topic?
Should we be worried that Nintendo decided not to show off their Revolution control?
I don't like all this dribbling pop-opera-jazz
Concentrate and ask again
And let me just say again that anything relating to an ongoing investigation, I'm not going to get into discussing.
Do the booth babes really help attract attention to the new games and systems?
Sorry, I'm stumped.
Reply hazy try again
Next question. I'm not going to get into discussing the investigation at this point.
Is it just me, or do you think Nintendo is going to opt for a name other than Revolution when it's released?
What are you talking about?
Most likely
Again, you're asking questions relating to an ongoing investigation, and I think I've responded to it.
Do you think it's a mistake for Sony not to launch with a Hard Drive?
That's your idea. I don't preach to people.
As I see it yes
I appreciate you asking this. It's in the context of the investigation, and you've had my response on that.
Any chance Konami will stop making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles games?
Mutant Turtles?
Very doubtful
Yes, I think we've expressed our views previously.
Do you think there's a possibility that there will be no fighting and we'll all get along in this next generation?
That's your idea. They're the people who come and go every week, because they're thinking, "What's going to happen next? I must get in on this craze," and the craze is gone by the time they've realized it.
My reply is no
We'll get you a photo release from that. Thank you.
