Wow ... that sure is a mouthful!
With only hours to go before Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo and the rest of the game industry unveils their plans for the next twelve months it's easy to understand why so many gamers and journalists are asking questions and making predictions. Defunct Games is no
A safe prediction: This year's E3 will be considerably less violent!
different, our staff has been spending the last few weeks arguing about who's going to come out ahead, what games are going to be announced and whether or not there would be any hardware announced. But unlike all the other game websites out there Defunct Games actually wants to get to the bottom of these questions. We aren't content to just sit here and wait for E3 to start; we want to answer the burning questions two days before the companies in question officially announce their products.
In order to answer these burning questions we employed three different reliable sources to give you the most accurate information possible. They won't always agree, but I think you will agree that these three sources have an uncanny track record when it comes to answering the important issues facing us this week. First up we have the ghost of John Lennon (who you can talk to at the
). We also have our always reliable Magic 8 Ball on hand. And filling out our panel is a special guest, the Attorney General of the United States, Alberto Gonzales! These three sources are prepared to answer any and all questions regarding the upcoming E3 Media & Business Summit event. We feel that these three sources will put a lot of questions to rest ... and you can thank Defunct Games for that!
John
Lennon
Magic
8 Ball
Alberto
Gonzales
Will Sony announce a PSP redesign?
"I can't say for sure right now"
"Absolutely"
"I don't remember there being any action on that."
Will Nintendo develop a new IP any time soon?
"How should I know?"?
"Maybe"
"There are two that I don't recall knowing in my mind."
Will Microsoft finally show off Halo 3's single player campaign?
"I think so."
"Ask again later"
"I have no memory of this."
Do you think Killzone 2 live up to the hype?
"Probably Not."
"No Way!"
"I don't recall having any specific questions."
Will Microsoft try and appeal to a broader audience?
"Anything could happen Cyril"
"Outlook not so good"
"I don't recall making the decision that day."
Will Smash Bros. Melee feature Sonic the Hedgehog?
"Good chance."
"Definitely"
"I don't have any recollection of the mechanics of the issue."
Will Metal Gear Solid 4 go multiplatform?
"I think so."
"Maybe"
"I don't recall anything with this review process."
Are we finally going to find out what Afrika is?
"I really couldn't say for sure."
"Ask again later"
"I don't recall him speaking to me about that."
Is there any chance of Duke Nukem Forever debuting at E3 2007?
"I don't know about that, mate."
"My sources say no"
"I don't recall telling him fifteen or twenty times."
When will we start seeing major online games for the Wii?
"I don't know, I haven't a clue ..."
"Yes"
"I don't recall the exact timeframe."
Who will win: Guitar Hero III or Rock Band?
"The Peatles."
"Outlook not so good"
"As the Attorney General I don't recall taking such a position, sir."
Is Namco still considering bringing Katamari Damacy to the Nintendo DS?
"Cyril, what are you doing in my kitchen?"
"My sources say no"
"I don't recall the specific mention of this conversation."
Is Gran Turismo still coming out for the Sony PSP?
"How should I know?"
"Maybe"
"No sir, I don't remember where that conversation took place."
Will Dennis Dyack complain about this year's E3?
"Does it really matter?"
"Absolutely!"
"I don't recall any dissent."
Will that secret Mortal Kombat game be revealed?
"Good chance."
"Definitely"
"I have searched my memory and I have no recollection of that meeting."
Do you see a price drop for the PlayStation 3 in the next six months?
"I've never really thought about it."
"Absolutely!"
"I don't recall a specific number."
What are the booth babes doing this year?
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
"Yes"
"I don't recall remembering."
Will it matter that Microsoft's press conference is outside?
"Probably not"
"My sources say no"
"I have no recollection of when that occurred."
Is Alan Wake ever going to come out?
"Alan Wake ever going to come out? Who are you kidding? "
"Ask again later"
"I just don't recall the reasons."
Will somebody announce new hardware at E3?
"Anything could happen, except for Alan Wake. "
"Outlook not so good"
"I don't remember or recall what happened after that."