They're sticking with that name? Hmm, alright!
With E3 only a few days away it's easy to get swept up in the excitement over the big announcements, price drops and other gaming news. But what is Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo planning for the three day event? Will this year's news be bigger than what we saw last year? Will there be real fireworks this time around? Or is this going to be E3's swan song? These are the questions we want answers to. But nobody wants to wait all weekend for the official sources to give us the facts. We want to know now. And when you want to know you go to one source and one source only: Fight the Future!
To answer some of these questions we've decided to employ the help of three trusted sources. Up first
Could this be Konami's big news at E3? Find out when you read Fight the Future!
we have the surprisingly accurate Magic 8 Ball. Don't believe the Magic 8 Ball can predict the future? Then I bet you're going to be shocked when you learn that last year it got 65% of its predictions right. That's not too bad, certainly on par with most industry analysts. And if the Magic 8 Ball isn't going to cut it, then why not see what my big bag of fortune cookies has to say? I won't stop you from tacking on "... in bed" to every fortune it dispenses. Our final trusted source is none other than papa bear himself, Bill O'Reilly. The truth is that Billo has tens of thousands of relevant quotes, so we were forced to put them all into a hat and pull them out at random. I think you'll see that Billy has a lot of interesting things to say about the video game industry.
Will these three judges be able to predict the future? Actually, that's a pretty good question, maybe I should have posed that query to our esteemed panel. Either way, collectively we've managed to fight the future and bring you definitive answers to all of those burning questions. If you're the kind of person that hates waiting and absolutely needs to know right now, then this is the episode for you. Then again, if you're the kind of person that hates waiting then you're probably already skipped this boring introduction and moved on to the predictions. Either way, it's time we do our part to Fight the Future!
Magic
8 Ball
Fortune
Cookie
Bill
O'Reilly
Will Nintendo finally announce a new Kid Icarus game?
"Absolutely"
"It's as good as money in your pocket."
"This is consistently anti-American!"
Will Microsoft announce a new line of Mii-like avatars?
"Ask again later"
"Love is on its way..."
"You're crazy!"
Will Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 10 come with a new peripheral?
"Yes"
"What looks like an appealing offer may not be."
"Just for that you're going on my enemies list!"
Is Metal Gear Solid coming to the Xbox 360?
"No Way"
"You're desperately trying to remember a dream."
"Fuck it, I'll do it live!"
Is 'You Don't Know Jack' really coming to the Wii?
"Outlook not so good"
"The day only gets better."
"This is actually helping the terrorists!"
Will the Xbox 360 ever get a motion control?
"Yes"
"Embrace change; don't battle it."
"It's not a big issue!"
Is karaoke coming to the Xbox 360?
"My sources say no"
"You work best on your own now."
"You can't say something like that in the No Spin Zone!"
Any chance that Capcom will announce a new Strider game?
"No way!"
"You crave your lover when the two of you are apart."
"There's no difference between that and Hitler!"
Will Sony show off Gran Turismo PSP?
"Definitely"
"Complete chores you've been avoiding for some time."
"These people are stoned, dopey college students!"
Will Alan Wake be playable at this year's E3?
"No Way!"
"Good things are on their way."
"Put up or shut up!"
Will Nintendo Announce a Hard Drive?
"Outlook not so good"
"Romance is likely; strike up a conversation."
"You're a traitor that ought to be hung!"
Is Sony planning on showing off God of War III?
"My sources say no"
"Pursue your wishes aggressively."
"Let them kill each other!"
Is Microsoft planning on redesigning the Xbox 360's Dashboard?
"Outlook not so good"
"Keep to yourself -- friendliness may make enemies."
"I would run it just like Saddam ran it!"
Is Nintendo planning on redesigning the Nintendo DS again?
"Outlook not so good"
"Start a new project at work -- or start a new job altogether."
"10 Years ago nobody had even heard of it!"
Can Too Human possibly live up to the hype?
"No Way!"
"You have more work than you can handle."
"I'd like to hear Gore's side of things!"
Is Square Enix going to reveal a Final Fantasy VII remake?
"Ask again later"
"It's not advisable to leap before you look, but that may be all you have time for."
"These are the biggest villains in the country!"
Is Capcom's new game, "Flock", actually Dead Rising 2?
"Yes"
"The big issues are work, career or status right now."
"Last I checked, I didn't hand over my brain to Rev. Sharpton!"
Am I the only one that is more excited for Street Fighter IV than Resident Evil 5?
"My sources say no"
"Remember yesterday, but live for today."
"Most women who like artificial trees have artificial breasts!"
Will Captain Rainbow be Nintendo's first openly gay video game character?
"Absolutely!"
"Love lights up your world."
"Everybody's got to relax on all this gay stuff!"
Is David Hayter really the best person to write a Metal Gear Solid movie?
"Outlook not so good"
"Please someone at work by remaining calm and impartial."
"This is just more far-left smear mongering!"
