Welcome to Great Moments in GamePro, the show where we chronicle the silliest, craziest, punniest and most baffling GamePro quotes of all time. In this episode, we're going to be looking at the September, October and November issues from 1990, featuring genuine classics like Castlevania III, DuckTales, Paperboy, Columns, Shadow of the Ninja and more. I hope you brought your fancy shoes, because we're about to induct a few of the Great Moments in GamePro.


NARC (NES): "The drug war is dirty business, and in NARC it's messy, too. Blast criminals with rockets and you're going to see some body parts. You want action? NARC's got it! Don't get high, unless it's on point."

Low G Man (NES): "Yes, Mother Earth is once again in danger of being wiped out by evil aliens. But with a little help from a friend (namely you), and a heavy dose of low gravity, Mother Earth will be flying high in no time at all."

ESWAT (Genesis): "If you're looking for a fast-paced gunfight, check this one out. ESWAT's a mechanical cop action/thriller that will really test your metal, err, mettle."

ESWAT (SMS): "Sega of America's new Master System version of the arcade smash, ESWAT, should leave starving SMS fans reeling from the excitement of fast-paced battle. The party's over for the bad guys now. You've got a suit and you're dressed to kill."

Columns (Genesis): "It may take a while for Columns to reel you in. There's much more to the game than initially meets the eye. Check it out in the arcades and you'll see that Columns definitely stacks up!"

Paperboy (SMS): "Paperboy gives you SMS fans another smash hit to keep your systems running fully tilt. Fast-paced action combined with superb graphics make for a tremendous rendition of this arcade classic. Paperboy delivers."

Penguin Wars (Game Boy): "Penguin Wars is at best in the Tournament Mode where you and your friends can take each other on in a hilarious round-robin tournament. As a multi-player game it has great possibilities. This one's definitely for the birds -- and everybody else. Waddle they think of next?!"

Cosmo Tank (Game Boy): "CosmoTank is a wild bug-hunt that's tough in the beginning and gets harder as you go. With radical gameplay, challenging adventure and top-notch graphics, CosmoTank will really bug you."

Castlevania III (NES): "Castlevania fans will love this new chapter of the monster saga. The numerous levels, detailed graphics and challenging gameplay make this a mouth-watering video game delight! Sink your teeth into Castlevania III, before Count Dracula sinks his into you!"

Frankenstein (NES): "Persistent hordes of terrifying creatures demand all your fighting energy and the added twist of having to battle to keep your best weaponry makes this monster mash all the more challenging. Don't come apart at the seams."

Werewolf (NES): "The graphics are average, but the animated sequences in between levels and when you get wolfish are slick. The sound, however, could use a few lively wolf howls. Werewolf doesn't pull ahead of the pack, but it's no dog either."

Mondu's Fight Palace (Genesis): "This game is a kick in the pants for contact sports fans. 16-bit graphics make even the gruesome aliens easy on the eyes, and the special monster-select codes keep the game from slipping into monotony. It's always more fun to be a monster! Think you can breeze right through Mondu's Fight Palace? Fat chance."

DuckTales (Game Boy): "If you loved Duck Tales you'll love Duck Tales for the Game Boy. The gameplay is essentially the same, the graphics are excellent and there's enough variation on the original game to keep you interested in the new version. Don't fly south for the winter -- there's plenty to take care of right here in Duckburg."

Mega Man III (NES): "Gamers can safely bet that Mega Man 3 will be one of the monster hits in 1991. It's got everything that a great video game should have: Incredible challenge, exceptional game play, stunning graphics and some nifty weapons. It's mega-riffic!"

Shadow of the Ninja (NES): "Ninja clans practiced their art in relative secrecy for centuries -- until video games latched onto them. Now these masters of invisibility are definitely in danger of overexposure. Shadow of the Ninja, however, is above average Ninja fare with top of the line graphics and fast-paced gameplay. Can two Ninjas free the Land of the Free? In America, anything's possible."

Solar Jetman (NES): "Solar Jetman is not as fast-paced as most NES titles -- you'll do more exploring and maneuvering than fighting aliens. But it's a lot of fun, and many of the worlds are expansive and maze-like -- you'll take hours to explore them. With all the weapons to choose from and the different atmospheres to test your flying skills, Solar Jetman is a real blast!"

Phelios (Genesis): "Gorgeous graphics, tough gameplay and interesting animated story sequences make this an excellent addition to the Genesis stable of titles. It's up, up and away with Phelios."

Legendary Axe II (TurboGrafx-16): "Legendary Axe II has the same magic as the first version, but with snazzier graphics. You get more power-ups here so you can stay in the hunt longer, enhancing the game's arcade feel. There's also a better variety of enemies. If you like thumb-numbing, hack 'em slash 'em action, give this sequel a try. Remember, you axed for it!"

And while you're just clicking on stuff at random, I suggest you head over to the Defunct Games YouTube page and subscribe to the channel. We're posting new episodes of Game Over: The Early Years every Monday, along with brand new game reviews throughout the week.