December 24th, 2002 -
So here we are, the day before Christmas. If you haven't gotten your shopping done, I suggest you do it now (or wait until after Christmas when everybody has their 50% off sales). Regardless, if you have any unfinished pre-Christmas cheer, this is your time, you don't have much longer. So get out there, sing your crappy Christmas carols, try to get a smooch or two with a missletoe, or simply watch It's a Wonderful Life for the 900th time. Ah yes, it's a time to catch up on all the cheer you should have done months ago ... you need a cheer checklist!
So then, we have a pretty exciting update for you all. It's filled with a number of new items, one of which is the very second to last episode of our popular 28 Years Until Christmas series!! Over the last three weeks we've been picking a year, and then investigating an event that happened in that year. We've covered a lot of ground, enjoyed a lot of good times, and brought back some great memories. It was good times, wasn't it?
The last two episodes of the 28 Years Until Christmas will deal with some very serious subject matter. We will also fill in the years we are missing between 1985 and 2002. So, let's head back in time to the year 1986, a time when things were just getting off the ground for video games, and companies were just breaking ground on what would become the best franchises ever. Today we look at The Little System that Thought It Could (1986). Of course, the Sega Master System couldn't, but that's okay. Make sure you read all about it.
Oh ... by the way ... make sure check out the Sega Master System Covers, it fits in with what we were talking about. And don't forget there is also a Page Two and a Page Three. All will take you back to a simpler time, a time when cover art didn't mean a damn thing.
Being as it's Christmas tomorrow, I thought it was about time to update our pick of the Great Games. We've talked about a lot of great games over the year, and there are so many amazing titles out there, but only one fits for Christmas. It's a rare title, one that you might not be able to find at your local pawn shop. But when you have a second, make sure you check out our Christmas NiGHTS review. It's not very long, but then, neither is Christmas. But it's an amazing game, and you really should check it out, and if anything, at least check out the review.
Anyway, I hope everybody out there has a wonderful Christmas Eve. I know all the other sites aren't updating over the week, but here at Defunct Games we don't believe in Christmas vacation. So don't be afraid of coming back tomorrow, we will have a very special Christmas update for you, and the conclusion of one hell of a certain month-long article. So, I'll see you tomorrow, right? Keep smiling, have fun opening your gifts, and remember, DEFUNCT GAMES will still be updating.
- Cyril Lachel
December 23rd, 2002 -
Well well well, here we are, the day before the day before Christmas. I look outside and it's not snowing. My computer tells me it's 32 degrees outside, but it just doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Though, I have to admit I've heard a record amount of jingling bells in television adverts (and it's really annoying). Christmas music doesn't get me in the mood anymore, I need snow. Lots and lots of snow. Anyway, we have a short, but sweet update for you. It doesn't have a lot to it, in fact, it only has one story, but at least it has an interesting name. As I'm sure you have already figured out, we are going to send your way yet another episdoe of 28 Years Until Christmas. Being as we've dealt with some pretty heavy topics recently, I figured it wise we talk about something a little less pressing. But then, I thought about it, and I realized, we only have three more episodes, including todays. We need to talk about important issues, if we don't do that now, when will we? So I am very happy to take you way back in time, back to the year 2000. Having survived Y2K, it left us to ponder one imporant question: What does Namco and Striptease have in Common? (2000) Believe it or not, Namco actually does have something to do with that dreadful movie Striptease. Y'know the one, it has Demi Moore, who used to be married to Bruce Willis, who can probably be linked to Kevin Bacon in one way or another. I hate to say I told you so, but that's about it for today. We will be back VERY soon (as in tomorrow) when we try to find the meaning of Christmas Eve. Or maybe we'll cue up the eight track, and bust out the Three Dog Night. Keep smiling, because I won't be. - Cyril Lachel
December 22nd, 2002 -
We are so close to Christmas, I can almost smell it. Doesn't hurt that I have Christmas cookies out and the scent of turkey in the air. Wait a minute, why do I have the smell of turkey in the office? Christmas is still a couple days away, and I'm not even going to make dinner!! Where is that coming from? Well, while I track down the odor, how about we try to figure out what to post. After all, thanks to our very special 28 Years Until Christmas feature, we are doing daily updates until Christmas. We have to post something, or I would be lying to you. So here we go ... We are coming to the end of our very special month of daily updates! In a couple of days we will take a vacation, and then come back refreshed with all new articles for you. But before that happens, we should talk about a fact: Saving Zelda requires a lot of Memory (1987). If you ever wanted to know who led the charge when it came to saving your progress, you really need to take a look at this mostly factual account of what happened. Just think, soon we will have all 28 years complete, and we can get back to the fake news, fake games, and all the other lies you've come to expect from Defunct Games. So don't go anywhere after Christmas, we may have a couple days off, but that doesn't mean we won't be back. So keep smiling, and remember, we may write stuff for you, but it's not personalized. Keep that in mind the next time you think I'm talking specifically to you, okay Pat. Have a great one. - Cyril Lachel
December 21st, 2002 -
Golly. If you are like me and don't have your Christmas shopping done, then you have only two options: get off your butt and shop, or turn Jewish. But, before you head out and buy everybody gifts, make sure you read our update today. We've been on this daily kick now for something like 24 days. That's a really long time. I mean, think about that, in the last 24 days IGN employees have taken six days off!! But not us, we have had something for you every single day since Thanksgiving. All because we've been milking a section we call 28 Years Until Christmas. Basically, if you've missed the first 23 days, you shouldn't be lost. We are looking at a different year and a different event each and every day. Some fun, some serious, and yet others are down right angering. Today we have an article that fits into the "sad" category. It's all about the year 2001, the first year of the new millennium, and especially the first disappointment of the next thousand years. I can't think of a worse time than when I realized that Sega Pulls Out! (2001)! Almost two years ago Sega chose to get out of the console industry. Good idea? Probably. Big disappointment? Without a doubt. Also, make sure you head over to the Onion, probably the best fake news site going. Their top story this week, Christmas week, is a very funny Ghost of Christmas Future Taunts Children With Vision of PlayStation 5. This is a really funny article, especially as you wait to open your new copies of Vice City or Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4. We also went ahead and updated the IN THE REAL WORLD section (found on the top left of this page). It's complete with a new quote, and a site you really have to see ... even if you're not that into dolls. That brings us to the end of another day. But don't worry, we'll be back with more goodness tomorrow. Perhaps we'll even have more than just another episode of 28 Years Until Christmas! So, keep on smiling, and remember, when everybody else is on vacation, we'll be here updating (for awhile at least). - Cyril Lachel
December 20th, 2002 -
Hello all. I hope everything is good for you out there. Just a few days left to go until Christmas, and we are gearing up for an exciting holiday around the Defunct offices. We are planning some top secret articles, and a few surprises you will never see coming. But we are getting ahead of ourselves ... we need to stop opening gifts, put the drinks away, and remember, there are still a few days left to send me something. But in all seriousness, we have a new article for you to read. We are almost done with our daily 28 Years Until Christmas feature, which means we are running out of time to get the important stuff out there. In the next six days, I plan on filling in the years we have missed, including much of the 1980s. Remember, this feature is only going from 1985 - 2002, so you can pretty much figure out which years we have missed so far. Yikes, well, I hate to have too many Mario stories in a row, but we have an article today that touches on the Mario phenomenom, and more importantly, what happens to a successful series that fails in its second outting? Well, we think we may have figured it all out. Todays topic looks at a curse, of all things, it's called Nintendo's Terrible Twos! (1988). Think Nintendo is flawless? Well, have you played Zelda II: the Adventure of Link recently? Today is something of a short day, as I am out on the road, seeing the sites, and trying to find something to report on. I'll be back home later on today, so perhaps tomorrows update will be more than just one lame feature. But until I get there, this will have to be it. You will, however, note that our episode of 28 Years Until Christmas is actually a little longer than usual, and requires a fourth picture. You gotta love the fourth picture. Anyway, take this time to read some of the past episodes of this feature, and get ready for the final five! We are coming to the most important one ... number 28. What will it be? You'll just have to wait and see, everything will be unveiled on Christmas Day (that's December 25th, for all you who don't know). So, keep smiling, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. - Cyril Lachel
December 19th, 2002 -
Howdy gang, it's a little earlier today than it was yesterday, which is a good thing (for my sanity, among other things). I had some computer problems, and almost didn't have a Christmas update for you, but don't worry, luck was shining my way, and an update is here for you, not skipping a day. Instead of talking about that, let's get on with the update!! Today we have a brand new episode of our daily 28 Years Until Christmas feature! This is episode 22 of 28, we are almost done kids. Which means it's almost Christmas!! I will have more to say about that in the next few days. But now we have an episode to attend to. Today we ask ourselves some important questions. Was the Nintendo 64 doomed from the beginning? Was PilotWings 64 really a game? And most importantly, Why would I want that? I didn't play Super Mario Brothers 4 through 63! (1996) We all love platformers, but where would we be without Super Mario 64?? Answer: Hooked on Gex. Sorry about my rambling on and on yesterday. My anger was fairly extreme after my fateful encounter at the Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers midnight showing. I probably shouldn't have used this as my soapbox to yell and scream. At 7 in the morning I tend to be in a bad mood, and with what I put up with, I found myself needing an outlet. Hope you don't mind, and if you are one of those people who talks in theaters ... I hope you've learned a few things. That's it for today. We don't have much more for you, but we will tomorrow. We are hoping for a whole slew of updates in the weekend going into Christmas. There may be a couple of days of silence after Christmas, I may need a few days to catch up, but there will be some great stuff coming in the first week or two of 2002! So, don't forget about us. Oh, until you see me tomorrow, keep smiling, and don't stay up too late. - Cyril Lachel
December 18th, 2002 -
Heya folks. Today is going to be an interesting day. It's going to be more of me as a story teller, and less as an entertaining writer. But, before we delve into my crappy day, let's talk about what you've come here to read ... Alright, I'm sure I don't need to explain this AGAIN, but I will anyway. For the last 20 days we have been pointing out different events that happened at different times in different years. We call it the 28 Years Until Christmas. So far we've looked at big events, small events, and just about everything in between. Today we thought we'd take a look at ourselves. No, not Defunct Games, but the media in general. Video game magazines are huge business, and there is a lot of blame to go around. Perhaps the biggest reason, though, is the success of one certain magazine. We call this article EGM is the way Steve Harris Spells "Influence" (1989). It may not offer a lot of information about Electronic Gaming Monthly, but it does give you a good over view of why this magazine has held up so long. Anyway ... so, how many of you went to the midnight showing of Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers?? Well, I did. I could probably wax about the story, acting, blah blah blah ... but the problem was, I didn't get to enjoy it. For 2/3 of the movie the lady sitting next to me chose to talk to her boyfriend. I'm not kidding when I say that she was talking in her "normal" speaking voice, not caring what anybody thought. It wasn't even on topic. She was babbling about useless crap, like clothing, Christmas shopping, and how good her make up looked. It was a lot like having the Ricki Lake show going on while trying to enjoy a movie. It was tragic. People were telling her to be quiet, but she only got louder. She eventually walked out, and that improved my experience greatly. I actually was able to listen to the actors, and not just watch the magnificent special effects. There are few things I hate more than people who talk through movies. It was all topped off when she made this comment: "y'know, I didn't even know Lord of the Rings was a book until this weekend". You don't say. Anyway, I hope your experience is/was better than mine. And if you didn't go at midnight, you ought to try to make it out this week. Not just to Peter Jackson's epic, but one of the other movies playing in the theaters. There's a lot of good stuff out there, and none of it has anything to do with the Hot Chick. So, keep smiling, catch a movie, keep reading Defunct Games, and don't complain about the lack of pictures today, I'm on it. That's your homework, see you tomorrow. - Cyril Lachel
December 17th, 2002 -
Hey gang. If you're looking for an update filled with updates, then you might as well look somewhere else. Today is sort of the Kate Moss of Defunct Games updates ... it's s-k-i-n-n-y. Hmm, I wonder, is Kate Moss even a current reference? Or, like Twiggy, has her paper-thin body dropped out of modelling? Wait ... I don't care. ON WITH THE SHOW ... Even though today is a small update, it doesn't mean we can't take up a lot of room with useless chit chat. After all, we are in the final days of our very special 28 Years Until Christmas feature. We have talked about a number of interesting events, and we still have a number to delve into. But for now, we thought we would talk about something just about everybody has an opinion on: MUSIC. In 1996 a small company named Psygnosis releases a game called WipEout XL, and not only does it look good, but it sounds great. It also spawned a popular soundtrack, and much, much more. Today we thought we would do you all a favor, we thought we would try Bridging the Musical Divide (1996)! No matter if you like rap, rock, or midgets banging on pots and pans, this is your article. Over in the hectic world of Gaming Nexus we have a spooky (and slightly belated) review of Resident Evil Zero. It's a review I'm proud of, and for some strange reason didn't see the light of day until about two weeks after I finished it. But hey, no hard feelings on this side, and now you guys can finally read it, too. And when you're done with it, make sure you revisit our own look at Resident Evil Zero vs. Cheers! It's a little old, but some of you may have missed it the first time we pointed it out. And that is about it for today. I certainly wish I had more, and I wish I didn't sound like a broken record. But listen folks, I'm doing these daily, some times they are going to sound a little silly. No matter what, I hope you keep smiling, and don't stay up too late waiting in line to be the first to watch the Two Towers. - Cyril Lachel
December 16th, 2002 -
So, is anybody else excited about the upcoming release of the Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers? I figured it was about time for me to watch that extended version of Fellowship of the Ring I bought weeks ago, and let me tell you, it's looooooong!! That's actually why the update is so late. I started the thing at midnight, and just now you are getting this Daily Thoughts, sorry about that. Anyway, we actually have important things to talk about today, including the return of a long forgoten feature. But before we get to that, we need to talk about todays 28 Years Until Christmas episode. Over the last few weeks we've been working our way through the years discovering events that shaped the industry into what we know today. We're in the final stretch here, folks ... the final ten. To kick off the final ten, we talk about some truths. Like, how about the truth that companies will always try to make as much money as they can on sequels. Or how about the truth that all Role Playing Games have you collecting "items" inconveniently scattered all over the map. Or how about the truth that Game Shows give us Reasons to Memorize Useless Facts (1995)!! Take a trip as we look at where a small game called You Don't Know Jack got us. If you want even more You Don't Know Jack fun, make sure you read a few of the features we've written on the subject in the past. Like our You Don't Know Jack T.V. Show review, which gives you a fair look at this game turned T.V. show. There is also the nice companion top ten list, a list we call the Top Ten Missing Features from the You Don't Know Jack TV Show. Both of these articles are about the failed ABC television show, and not the show, but they will keep you up to date (if you consider 2001 up to date). But don't worry, we have new stuff for you to!!! That's right, we have a brand new episode of the popular Pop Up Videogames!! I know it's been six months since we last looked at a Pop Up, but we thought it was about time to bring it back. If you're like me, the holidays tend to be a time when I put on a lot of weight. Be it the crummy weather outside (making me not want to exercise), or the fatty foods Thanksgiving and Christmas brings, this is a bad time for me to be watching my weight. So, that's why I figured it was time to give you some facts, actually they are the Exercise Facts found in ESPN International Track & Field. Even in the game isn't very interesting, the facts are, so, make sure you check it out. In case you weren't around on the weekend, we also posted a brand new top ten list, one that we dubbed the Top Ten Bold Statements! It's a lot of quotes, comments, and slogans ... so make sure you check it out, if you haven't already. We are hard at work at more original content like this, so keep checking these pages. That brings us to the end of our epic day. I hope everybody out there has a good Monday, and I hope to see you back here againt tomorrow, when we'll tackle more Christmas cheer, and rings it's grubby neck. Until then, keep smiling, and remember, games don't fund terrorism. - Cyril Lachel
December 15th, 2002 -
It's Sunday today, which means that most of us will be resting. I am here for an update, but it's going to be pretty small, especially compared to the update we had yesterday. Today we take a more mellow look at the gaming world. So, instead of yapping here, let's get on with the show. By now I'm sure you know that we're in the middle of something we call the 28 Years Until Christmas! Each day we pick a brand new year, and an important event that happened in that year. Trying to inform, educate, and bore you to death. We are almost to the finish line, which just happens to be Christmas. So, maybe we should talk about todays episode. It takes place in 1999, the year when we were all hiding under our bed worrying about Y2k! While people were trying to avoid the worry of death and destruction, they were looking to escape and join a virtual world, one that allowed them to journey the country-side and kill a whole lot of animals. We call todays feature, the Surgeon General Ignores Warning About EverQuest Addiction (1999). Maybe you don't play EverQuest ... but chances are it has effected the way you play games in one way or another. Throughout the week we have been going through and trying to update/improve some of our Special Features. Today we took at look at the Disolving the Computer Fads section. It's completely out of date, and requires a new feature to talk about the way computer games have changed, but hey, the look is up to date at least. We are planning on making sequels for some of these special features, and of course, bring new features into the fray. That is just about going to do it for us today. I wish we had more for you, but since it's almost monday, I guess you'll have to wait until then. Boy, I know that's a lot to ask, but hey, I'm sure there's something on this site you haven't read yet. So, keep smiling, and I'll see you soon. - Cyril Lachel
December 14th, 2002 -
So we have a pretty good day for you today. It's jammed packed with quality, straight from the brain of one tired editor. We have so much for you, that we don't even have time to B.S. in this opening paragraph. So on with the show!! By now I'm sure you know that we're in the middle of something we call the 28 Years Until Christmas! Each day we pick a brand new year, and an important event that happened in that year. Then we expose it for the lie it is. Or, maybe not. No matter, make sure you check out todays installment, which talks about how Solid Snake Reminds Us of Our Youth (1998)!! This is one of those fun articles, one where we can just talk about games, and nothing too important. Not that games aren't important. Oh, nevermind ... just keep on reading. It's been a few months since we've had a full fledged top ten list. But I thought I would change that today. We thought we'd look through a bunch of quotes and slogans and come up with the most overstated, the most unreal, the Top Ten Bold Statements! It's a list of quotes so sad, you won't even believe they are real. But I assure you, they are. We also have four brand new covers over in the CoverStash section. All four of these PlayStation 2 covers offer a different look and feel. You need to check out the European Zone of the Enders cover! It's one of the more attractive pics, especially after seeing out American cover. Shudder. And there's more ... well, actually, there isn't more. I should probably wrap this up. We will be back tomorrow to crown a new GREAT GAME, and maybe even revisit the Cover Critic. All this tomorrow, because there are still a few more days until Christmas, and until then, we plan on updating every single day. YIKES!! So, keep on smiling, you know I will be. - Cyril Lachel
December 13th, 2002 -
Hey kids, it's Friday the 13th today!! It's one of those days that should be exciting, but probably won't be. I mean, I didn't even know it was that time of the year, that is, until I started writing this update. How can I compete with Friday the 13th? I should have something for you, something scary ... oh me, oh my. What am I going to do? Well, I guess I can point you in the direction of our daily 28 Years Until Christmas feature!! That's right gang, we are back with something very important. Something that just can't be ignored. It's possibly the worst video game of all time, and I wrote all about it in a section I like to call Myst Becomes Over Night Success. Giant Sucking Sound Reported (1993)! It's no mystery that I hate Myst, I have gone as far as to say it is the worst game of all time, so don't expect a fair and balanced look. Yeah, todays update is a little small, but like I mentioned yesterday, today is a day of rest after a long travel. We'll be back with more good stuff for you, and everybody else, tomorrow. And we still have that top ten list on its way. And hey, you never know when we might do another review. So what if we haven't done one since, well, we haven't done one in a very long time, and I'm sorry about that, but we are updating every single day for 28 days. THAT HAS TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING!! Anyway, instead of getting angry about what we don't have, let's talk about what you can do tomorrow. I suggest you head over this way yet again, because we're going to blow your eardrums with all the greatness we have for you. So, keep smiling, and I'll see you then. - Cyril Lachel
December 12th, 2002 -
Thursday is usually a travel day for me. You see, I generally like to get out of the Defunct office and look around the United States on thursdays. But these last two weeks I haven't been able to do that. I have been far too busy getting ready for next year, and doing our daily feature, 28 Years Until Christmas. But, today I plan on getting out of here and seeing the world. Of course, Fridays usually get cut short by my Thursday vacations. But fear not, I have a big ole update ready for you on Friday, but wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. TODAY we have a great episode for you. We don't have a lot, but it feels good knowing that we're over half way done with our special 28 Years Until Christmas feature. We want to lighten the mood a little, bring it down a notch, y'know. It's the year that Pulp Fiction changed Hollywood, the year that Nine Inch Nails released the Downward Spiral, and the year that the GameBoy Just Won't Go Away (1994)!! You may be surprised at the depths we'll hit to keep this traffic jam moving. I would also like to draw your attention to the "In the Real World" section (top left side of this page), I am doing my best to give you a new quote and site each and every week. Today, in case you hadn't guessed, is that day. Todays quote is a very recent one, it happened only a couple of days ago (Dec. 10th, to be exact), but is certainly worth reading. The site, however, is just beyond words. HEY!! Stop reading this, I have no more to say. Go, read the stuff I've talked about (or re-read yesterdays update FULL of reruns)! And keep smiling, because today is going to be a glorious day. See you tomorrow. - Cyril Lachel
December 11th, 2002 -
Guess what gang? Today is a very important day. How important? Well, important enough to tell you about it up front, instead of B.S. my way through a paragraph like i normally do. Today isn't just any day, it's the center of that feature we call 28 Years Until Christmas!! That's right, we're at number 14!! And that puts a great deal of pressure on me. I mean, what if I don't satisfy every single person out there? Well, I quickly got over that, and came up with a savage look at yet another Sega system. No, not the Saturn (1995), but a few years before that. For the 14th episode, we looked no further than Sega's first CD system, we call it Sega CD: What, Me Worry? (1992). You may think you know why the Sega CD failed, but we try to dig up even more examples of Sega's poor business practices. I have gone through and done some "fixing" of a few of the special features on Defunct Games. For example, I added a new Awards Section over at in the By The Book folder. Now you can view any one of the three award shows we've put on over the last year and a half. We had the All Tomorrow's Birthday Parties Award Show, which showed Defunct Games at it's most vunerable. There's also the E3: the Awards Show You Didn't See feature we did right after our visit to L.A. For our new viewers, you will want to take a look at this, as it shows you a different light of E3, one that GameSpot and IGN forgot to show you. We also added the kind-of-out-of-place What We've Learned This Year (2001), which may or may not be an annual special. All this adds up to an award show like no other, so watch these pages for the OFFICIAL DEFUNCT GAMES AWARD SPECTACULAR (working title). We also did some clean up of our Capcom, SNK, and the Kitchen Sink Weekend. Almost all of the pages got a little "fine tuning". Of course, Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO for the Xbox was supposed to be released this week, however, it has been delayed until January. But hey, this weekend can still get you excited about what will surely be THE online fighting experience of 2003 (or at least the first part of it). That just about wraps it up for today. I hope everybody is back when we dig into the 15th episode of the 28 Years Until Christmas. Of see if we actually have that top ten list we keep telling you about. Or more a new Great Game. Or lord forbid a Pop Up Video Game ... oh, you guys better get out of here. But just remember to keep smiling. - Cyril Lachel
December 10th, 2002 -
This is usually the part of the month where I start to lose track of days, forget peoples birthdays, sleep in late, and complain too much. Instead, this year, I am going to talk about all the things I like. Like pictures of cats sleeping, and skydiving, and waking up knowing the world isn't going to end. You know, I could go on for hours like this, but how boring would that be? Today we have another kick butt episode of 28 Years Until Christmas for you. We're going to veer ever so slightly away from yesterdays serious the Government Hates Us (1993) episode, and laugh at the expense of Nintendo in a feature we like to call Atari Breaks Into Nintendo's Cartridge (1989). For anybody interested in half truths and pictures of Tetris, you need to check this episode out. Well, that's about it for today, but we I do want to tell you about a Top Ten list coming later this week, it's going to talk about those bold statements companies like to spread. We also have a few other regular features that will make a come back. So, make sure you keep checking back daily. Anyway, you all, you need to keep smiling, and remember, it's not all bad, some of it is just plane awful. - Cyril Lachel
December 9th, 2002 -
These days just keep getting longer don't they ... well, actually, I guess they are getting shorter. Oh well, regardless, enough with the chit chat, we actually have something worth talking about today. I'm sure I don't need to explain this again, but I will just for the heck of it ... all month long we are looking at great events in our industry. Maybe not ALL Of the great events, maybe not even most of them, but at least 28 of them. Why 28?? Because there are 28 Years Until Christmas!!! Yeah, I know the logic is a little fuzzy, and not all of the events have have all the facts in them ... but hey, who's going to complain?? So, today we have a good episode of 28 Years Until Christmas, it's one of those episodes you REALLY don't want to miss. For todays show, we are going to swing all the way back to 1993, which may have not been an election year, but did manage to give us the feeling that the Government Hates Us (1993). How do I know? They had a special session just to talk about Night Trap, I mean, what is wrong with that picture?? I figured you guy might want to get away from the trivial topics like the Nintendo World Championships (1990) or the Virtual Boy (1995), or even that one we did about Light Guns (1993). But hey, we have plenty of days left to be serious, 16 if I'm doing my math correctly. We also have a few changes to mention over in the CoverStash section. Not only are we adding a couple of "updates", but we also changed the Various section. You see, now each one of the nine Various section pages mentions what they it is a collection of. And better still, we have a new page that celebrates the movie poster. So, check out ther Movie Poster section of Various. We only have three in there right now, two of which have been used in our 28 Years Until Christmas feature. So, have a look, keep smiling, and remember, we'll be back tomorrow with more thoughtless sorrow and misery. Till then ... - Cyril Lachel
4:15 a.m. PST Scary Today may not seem like much, but I promise you, we have some good stuff for you. But before we start up this engine we Defunct Games, I figured I would stop and ask all of you how you are doing? But then, I realized, I just don't care. ON WITH THE UPDATE!!! So, we have ourselves another episode of that funky little daily feature we like to call the 28 Years Until Christmas. Last time we looked at this feature, we talked about how great 1995 was. Well, today we are going to do that again, well, not exactly 1995, but 1996. That's right folks, 1996! It was a good year for video games, but one that sparked a whole genre. Today we take a look at something we like to call Resident Evil Scares Up Success (1996). Not only is this a great game, but it did a great deal of good for the industry. Read on, and see what I mean. I have been thinking about what else to write today. I mean, I don't really have anything for you, it's a sunday, and I'm sure just about nobody is going to visit today. So, perhaps I'll just give a shout out to my bud Seth, who just called me from Reno. You see, it was his 21st birthday the other day, and he's out there trying to bring back the dead presidents. Of course, I forgot to warn him that you should never drink while you are gambling (hey folks, that's rule number one), and he may not be doing so well. Want proof? He called, dropped his phone, and has completely forgotten about it. So all I hear is the sounds of gambling, conversations of sex, and lots of yelling. Boy, you just can't do without that yelling, can you. So, that's my Sunday story, I wish I had more for you, but I promise, we'll have something good for you come monday. Promise. So, keep smiling, put down that knife, and get some sleep. - Cyril Lachel
December 7th, 2002 -
Today has been an odd day, filled with a lot of highs and lows. I would go into details, but they would bore you guys to death. So, instead I'll talk about something more interesting ... lawn darts. Why isn't there a lawn dart game? Seems like that would have been a weapon in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Ah well. Maybe that's enough masking the real problem, let's talk about todays update ... I know that you've been hitting this site daily just to see what the next episode of 28 Years Until Christmas will be, and recently we have been offering quite a few topics, but today is one that I promise you are going to misunderstand. Well, instead of talking it up, how about we just spring it on you, we call episode ten: Sega's Saturn Deserves to Die (1995). Now, before you read this, don't take the title wrong. I love my Saturn, and I love the games on it. This article is about the launch, which I consider the worst major release ever. Even though we haven't been offering a lot updates recently, we do have a number of features on the way for the end of the year. How about a buyers guide like no other, or a letter section. I know what you've been waiting for, a GAME SHOW. And best of all, we are yet again going to do an award show. From all of us here at Defunct Games, I want to personally thank you for sticking around this long, and remember, the best is still on its way. That's about it for today, but don't fret, we'll be back again tomorrow to look at another year in history. Perhaps we'll even have something else for you to wrap your arms around. Well, as you sit there alone, keep smiling, and remember us when you wake up tomorrow morning. - Cyril Lachel
December 6th, 2002 -
Here we are again, with yet another update for you to pay attention to. It's been quite an interesting week and a half, hasn't it? But don't fret, we're just getting started! Today marks the ninth day in our 28 Years Until Christmas feature. We've touched on a lot of topics in the last eight episodes, but today we get to the real nitty gritty of it all. Today we compare videogame tournaments with cockfighting, well, actually ... we don't do that. But, we do talk about how Nintendo Legitimizes Gaming as a "Sport" (1990). This is a special feature for me, because it talks about something that I went and attended. So, read up, learn something new, and remember, we'll have another episode tomorrow. Today we mark a very special milestone in the CoverStash section. Today I updated the 200th PlayStation 2 cover!! It's not nearly as exciting as Devil May Cry 2, Technic Beat, or Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, but it does offer something interesting, see!! She's pretty sexy, isn't she. Oh, what do you people know? I know it seems like we should have more for you, but we are bringing you an update every single day until Christmas. What more do you ask for? So, you take these smaller updates, and you do not whine. Okay? So keep smiling, and remember, we'll be here tomorrow, so check back and get more bad mood Cyril. - Cyril Lachel
December 5th, 2002 -
So, we've been at this 28 Years Until Christmas for a few days now, and been getting some good email. But most of it is simply asking me why I took away the letter section. No, really it is. This is not just one of those times when I say that to talk about a future article ... Okay, it is. But listen folks, it's the truth, people have been asking me about that. And I keep telling them: "it's coming soon!" And you know what? It's not going to be like any other letter section you've seen, you can count on that. I won't say more, but you can expect to see it within the next month or so, maybe sooner. Anyway, we actually have an update for you today. It comes in the way of out favorite month-long feature, the 28 Years Until Christmas. We've been filling your head with lots of useful years all week long, and we figured it was time to kick it up a notch! Today we plan on going back to 1993, when Bill Clinton was learning how to be president, and the Seattle music scene was just getting its legs. Today we look at an event that changed all of us, something very tragic, something we call Moviegoers Watched in Amazement as their worst Nightmare Comes True Over and Over Again (1993)! Perhaps you remember the Super Mario Brothers movie, or maybe you are just trying to forget it. Regardless, read up on how it changed the way we look at movies. We also have a number of new covers for you over in the CoverStash section. We even have enough covers to add 17th Page to the PS2 Section!! We are offering a number of long awaited covers finally, including a very beautiful Devil May Cry 2 cover. If these good games keep coming out, I won't have enough room to house their covers. So, that brings us to the end of our Defunct journey. We'll be back tomorrow with more stuff from my sack of goodies. So, keep on smiling, and remember, I'm here for you, but only for a half hour each day. Then you're on your own. Have a great day. - Cyril Lachel
December 4th, 2002 -
Hey folks, thanks for coming back for another update from your favorite guerrilla game site, Defunct Games. We have a pretty good update for you today, including a feature we haven't heard from recently (gee, that could be just about any one of our features). So, before we get ahead of ourselves, let's talk about what's at hand. I'm sure you have already figured out that we are offering a special feature called 28 Years Until Christmas, where we take a look at an event, it's impact, and where that got us. In the past we have visited the 1980s, a few in the 1990s, and one earlier this century. But today we offer the most recent "event". One that might not be significant ... yet. Today we look at the Xbox's desire to get online, in a feature we call Xbox Live Gives Trash Talkers a Voice (2002). It could be argued that the Xbox Live isn't as significant as some of the other issues we've discussed, but I would disagree. Moving past our Christmas junk, we have a brand new Freeze Frame for you guys. Today we take a look at a couple of games with ninjas, one that just came out, and one that is in need of a sequel. So, head on over to the Samurai Shodown vs. Shinobi section, and see just how Sega ripped off SNK. No matter what, Shinobi is a lot of fun, as my Gaming Nexus review proves. We love Ninjas around the Defunct Office, so today is a good day. That's about it for today, but we'll be back with much more tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have something you'll be interested in, so, keep smiling, and be here in 24 hours. Until then ... - Cyril Lachel
December 3rd, 2002 -
Alright folks, here's the deal. I'm sick, very, very sick. I don't even feel like getting out of bed. But you know what? I'm going to, and I'm going to update this site for you. JUST LIKE I PROMISED! So hopefully these handmade features will no make you sick, too. Anyway, if you find todays episode of 28 Years Until Christmas kind of hard to read, and poorly worded, I want to apologize right now. My mind was not working quite right when I wrote it. Nonetheless, it's still there for you, and we call it NEC Just Says "No" To Cartridges (1989). For this update we actually have to go back to President George Bush, Seniors term in office. It was a time long ago, when this industry was innocent. Actually, just forget that, this wording is all wrong, thanks in large part to cold medication. Oh, yes, I am aware we are missing a day on this Daily Thoughts. I have been sent quite a few emails me asking where the November 30th update went, and frankly, I don't know. But I assure you that later on today it will be fixed. It wasn't that long ago, but if you missed it, we posted our third episode of the 28 Years Until Christmas, which we called Street Fighter II Changes Everything (1991). Outside of that, very little was updated on the final day of last month. But I will go ahead and post another update for it when I have time, hopefully later on today. That pretty much brings this episode of Defunct Games to an end. I wish I had more for you, but I'm just not feeling very good. So, I'll be back tomorrow, with hopefully something coherent, and fun to read. So, keep smiling, and I'll see you tomorrow. - Cyril Lachel
December 2nd, 2002 -
Perhaps we should call today "hang over". The partying is all done, the alcohol has all been drank, and everything is good in the world. Seems like we should have a Defunct Games update today, right? Well, we do have an update, but it's more of the same. In case you've missed our Thanksgiving update (boy am I sick of writing that phrase), we are featuing a special called 28 Years Until Christmas. It will focus on a year of the industries history, and what we learned from these events. Today we look at 1993, a year when things seemed pretty good. But not good for everybody, if you are a fan of gun games, then it just was not your decade. Today we take a look at something we like to call Light Gun Games Begin to Suck (1993). What do we mean? Well, why not read on up, and see if you agree. Over the last week or so we have looked at a number of years, including Not All Nintendo Portables are Created Equal (1995), and of course Nintendo Gets Angry When Confronted With Infidelity (1990). But it's the very first episode, Final Fantasy Skips Four Numbers and is a Hit (1997), we are the most proud of so far. Of course, I don't want to forget about Street Fighter II Changes Everything (1991), it's a good one, too. That should bring you up to date with all the episodes of this feature. We are going to be back tomorrow, with much more. So, keep smiling, and remember, I can see you even though the computer is off. So close your mouth when you chew your food. - Cyril Lachel
December 1st, 2002 -
Holy crap, is it really December 1st?? I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. We have one more month of Defunct Games until 2003. Don't worry, we have plenty of stuff to cram into this year still. By the time you read this, I will likely be passed out in the Defunct Games office. Too much partying, I'm afraid. This is being written prior to the party, so it should be coherent. If you've been reading the updates since Thanksgiving, then you should know that we are featuring a special called the 28 Years Until Christmas. It's a feature where we look at years in history, and what they have meant to this industry. Today we take a look at the first major flop by Nintendo. The year was 1995, Bill Clinton was in office, music was starting to go pop, and the PlayStation was learning how to dance. It's also a time when we learned that Not All Nintendo Portables are Created Equal (1995). If you were looking for a system that might actually cause damage to you, this is the system. Not much else for you today, it's a weekend, after all. I'm going to be busy at this party working on a new special feature, so check these pages for that. Oh, and remember, we aren't taking a day off until Christmas. So, I'll see you tomorrow, right? Until then, keep smiling, and try to stay ahead of it all. - Cyril Lachel
November 30th, 2002 -
Holy crap, is it really December 1st?? I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. We have one more month of Defunct Games until 2003. Don't worry, we have plenty of stuff to cram into this year still. By the time you read this, I will likely be passed out in the Defunct Games office. Too much partying, I'm afraid. This is being written prior to the party, so it should be coherent. If you've been reading the updates since Thanksgiving, then you should know that we are featuring a special called the 28 Years Until Christmas. It's a feature where we look at years in history, and what they have meant to this industry. Today we take a look at the first major flop by Nintendo. The year was 1995, Bill Clinton was in office, music was starting to go pop, and the PlayStation was learning how to dance. It's also a time when we learned that Not All Nintendo Portables are Created Equal (1995). If you were looking for a system that might actually cause damage to you, this is the system. Not much else for you today, it's a weekend, after all. I'm going to be busy at this party working on a new special feature, so check these pages for that. Oh, and remember, we aren't taking a day off until Christmas. So, I'll see you tomorrow, right? Until then, keep smiling, and try to stay ahead of it all. - Cyril Lachel
November 29th, 2002 -
Hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I can honestly say I had a wonderful time and it could not have been better. I could bore you with the details of my day, but I'm sure you would rather talk about todays update. Let's get down to what you are expecting ... like I explained yesterday, we are doing a history lesson each day of the week until Christmas. We call this train wreck 28 Years Until Christmas. We did one yesterday, and we plan on doing them until you're sick of them. Todays topic is one that is close to my heart, it's something I remember well. We are about to flashback to 1990, when George Bush was the president, big hair bands were still popular, and the Game Genie came out. I give you Nintendo Gets Angry When Confronted With Infidelity (1990)! That's right, we tackle an important topic today. Where can we go from here? You'll have to just wait and see. Readers who also pay attention to Gaming Nexus will notice that my review of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (PlayStation 2). So, I guess it's time to pick a new Great Game. Alright, after a month of the Dreamcast version of Marvel vs. Capcom 2. So, how can we top that? Well, we're not really trying to top it, after all, it's a great game on its own merits. But we need something new, how about a four player game for the holiday weekend? Yeah, how about Power Stone 2? It's an exciting, and fun game, and it's dirt cheap these days. You really need to pick this game up. A lot of people have been mailing me asking why I have not updated the GameCube section of the CoverStash, and to that I say ... I HAVE!!! We have a couple of pretty damn cool covers for you over in the GameCube CoverStash. Actually, I really only have to say four words and it should get your attention ... the Legend of Zelda!! It's there, love it or hate it, it's there. Anyway, that is about it for today, we will be back tomorrow, you know that. So get ready, keep smiling, and be back here in 24 hours. You'll never know who you'll see next, wait, why does that sound familiar? Oh, nevermind ... - Cyril Lachel
November 28th, 2002 -
So it's Thanksgiving, and no other site is updating. And hey, you've been coming here like a loyal puppy each and every day. So, it seems like a perfect time to update Defunct Games.
Anyway, in case you hadn't noticed, I took the last few weeks off, but we didn't actually go anywhere. Instead, we have been very busy getting ready for a brand spanking new section. Actually, we have a bunch of new sections ready, but they will be introduced in their own time. Alright, let's back up a little bit. Does anybody remember last year at this time? We had a feature that I got a lot of nice mail about, a feature called the 33 Days of Christmas. It was all about things people collect, and even gave you some ideas about what you could send me in the mail. A lot of people liked it because it meant there was an update each and every day until christmas. We have decided to do the very same thing this year, except shake it up a little.
This year we figured we would focus on some game history. Here at Defunct Games we want to educate, even if we lie and can't be trusted. So, let me introduce to you a feature I like to call 28 Years Until Christmas! What is it? Well, for each day there is a year, and something that happened in that year. You can use it as your guide to educate yourself on a special trivia game show coming in the VERY near future.
Like last year, we are giving you daily updates from now until Christmas! That's 28 days of updates. And not just this special feature, but other features you know and love. But for now, let's talk about todays year. It was 1997, the Bill Clinton was our president, the PlayStation was the biggest system of the year, and Final Fantasy was about to crash land and change everything. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Final Fantasy Skips Four Numbers and is a Hit (1997). See just how much of a difference Square made with the release of a certain "Fantasy" game. And make sure you come back tomorrow for yet another episode of 28 Years Until Christmas!!
And that's not it for today, oh no. We have some other good stuff for you, including a bunch of new covers in the CoverStash. Actually, perceptive viewers will have noticed I have been updating that section since the 8th of November, but I just haven't mentioned anything about it. We ended up including a number of covers you absolutely need to check out. Like the Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance cover ... not the one for the Xbox, but the Japanese PlayStation 2 cover. There's also new Xbox covers, too. So you should really check them out.
I have been busy in other ways, as well. If you have been thinking about buying some games this holiday season, I have a number of reviews over at Gaming Nexus. For instance, there's a review of Shinobi, one of the most anticipated games of the year (by this person at least). There's also a review of House of the Dead III as well. And don't forget the ToeJam & Earl III review, especially if you love the series. There are more, but those are the ones that come to mind recently. Soon there will be a Resident Evil Zero review, and a PlayStation 2 review of last months Great Game, Marvel vs. Capcom 2.
It's also worth giving a shout out to Lucas Werner, who has written in several of our Great Game Crash sections. Yesterday, the 27th, was his birthday, and he wasn't around for anybody to say happy birthday. So ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! He's off traveling the country side, so he likely won't see that, but that's what you get for missing your own birthday.
I hope today is a good day for you and your family, no matter who they are. Make sure and come back tomorrow, we'll have more Defunct goodness for you. Remember, from now until Christmas expect an update every single day. At least, this is the plan. So, keep smiling, don't go to sleep too early, and I'll see you soon.
- Cyril Lachel
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