Next Generation's 1 Star Reviews: The 21 Worst Video Games of 1997

A Fork in the Tale (PC)

#1

“Put in the CD and start the game. Click. Oh ha ha, Rob Schneider just said something kinda funny. Watch some video. Click click. Watch more video. Click. More kinda funny jokes. Click. Make a decision. Click. Watch more video. Click. End. That's pretty much all there is to A Fork in the Tale. As with many FMV-based titles, this is nothing more than a semi-interactive movie rental. Considering the cost, you might as well put the money into buying a movie for your VCR – at least you'll know it's good, and you'll get to watch it with some popcorn and soda.”

Batman Forever: The Arcade Game (Saturn)

#2

“We prayed that the arcade game would be different from the original 16-bit home versions, and it is. However, we should have just prayed the game would be better, because unfortunately, it isn't. The gameplay is nearly identical to the Streets of Rage series with a few new bells and whistles. The game also borrows a bit from Killer Instinct, enabling the player to throw opponents into the screen. What it boils down to is this; a beat ‘em up game is still a beat ‘em up game, no matter how hard you try to dress it up. All flash, and absolutely zero substance.”

Cruis'n USA (Nintendo 64)

#3

“This game began life as the brainchild of legendary game designer Eugene Jarvis and was turned into a somewhat successful arcade title. But from the very beginning, Cruis'n was destined for Nintendo 64, and it possibly for this reason that we are so disappointed in the result of more than two years in development. This half-hearted, rough-shod conversion is exactly what the Nintendo 64 doesn't need – and adds weight to the growing gripe among third parties that the system is a bitch to work with. We even finished the whole game in under two hours on our first attempt – and didn't relish the prospect of starting over.”

Dragon Dice (PC)

#4

“Some pen-and-paper games survive the translation to computer game quite well. Others, for whatever reason, should have been left out of the computer arena altogether. The first problem with Dragon Dice is that it's displayed only in a low-resolution window. It appears the developers have never heard of full-screen mode, and in fact the window size can't be changed at all – even the Win 95 maximize button is grayed out. Fans of the tabletop version of Dragon Dice would be better off finding a friend and using their money to purchase additional sets of real dice. It's a lot more fun than playing on the computer, and there's never a worry about the game crashing.”

DragonHeart: Fire & Steel (PlayStation)

#5

“This is, without a doubt, the perfect example of why Acclaim lost $190 million in 1996 and shatters in one blow any good karma built up from Alien Trilogy. It's the perfect combination of bad decisions – a miserable movie license snapped up only because it's a movie license and then ignored completely in the design of the game, coupled with slapped-together gameplay elements. Acclaim wisely avoided sending evaluation copies to the press until the game was released, assuring it had at least a month or two on the shelves before the negative waves hit – perhaps the company's only good decision.”

Fantastic Four (PlayStation)

#6

“Despite all the talk about the “new” Acclaim, someone seems to have let an “old” Acclaim title slip through. Like the worst of Acclaim's licensed games for the last eight years, this one takes a venerable piece of pop-culture property, in this case Stan Lee's Fantastic 4, and reduces it to dismal side-scrolling action – using “action” in the loosest sense of the word. Up to four people can be tortured at once by this travesty as they move across the screen from left to right, controlling big, disjointed sprite character in the classic (read: tired) Final Fight style. Before we give Fantastic 4 its one star, we'd like to apologize to the other games we've given one star. Most of them are merely terrible and don't deserve to be grouped with the likes of this kind of calculated deception. This is not a game. This is an insult.”

FIFA '97 (PlayStation)

#7

“Every single version of FIFA has been the hands-down best soccer game around – until now. FIFA '97 ignores its own respected tradition of fast, realistic game mechanics and instead offers polygonal players and slow, boring play. The most glaring problem is the pace, which is so slow players may need a good five minutes to run from one end of the pitch to the other. EA Sports probably wishes this was the only thing wrong with FIFA '97, but we can't overlook the choppy frame rate, miserable ball physics, sloppy control and the rest of the long list of the game's manifold shortcomings. The simple, sad fact is that FIFA '97 is the most disappointing EA Sports game in years.”

Gundam Gaiden 3 (Saturn)

#8

“Since Gundam fans tend to be otaku (much like Trekkers are in America), Bandai clearly expects its target group to be locked in. This game is for those who brought the first two – and no one else. The graphics remain pretty much unchanged from the first game, complete with a fast but limited 3D engine and some truly boring textures. Although marketed as a separate game in Japan, this is nothing more than a glorified expansion pack – and a poor one at that. This is the kind of game that makes you glad the Sega-Bandai merger fell through.”

Machine Hunter (PlayStation)

#9

“If plagiarism is the most sincere form of flattery, then Gremlin Interactive must be feeling pretty honored. MGM Interactive's Machine Hunter is pretty much a blatant carbon copy of Gremlin's Loaded series. Actually, the phrase that immediately springs to mind is “rip-off” – and Gremlin's games aren't the only ones the phrase can be applied to. Players view the action from an all-too-familiar overhead perspective, walk around corridor-ridden levels, blast whatever moves and splatter blood across every surface. Level design is pitifully standard, with narrow corridors opening into enemy-filled open areas. In other minor burst of originality, the levels are multi-tiered – a new twist to the subgenre. However, the similarities overpower any differences, and on the whole, the game is little more than a poorly executed rip-off.”

Neo Hunter (PC)

#10

“This is an awful game. Looking at the box, you might not think so. It's a cyberpunk action game set in the future, with animation in the style of Japanese anime, and dialogue written by renowned science fiction author Orson Scott Card. But don't be fooled. The shouted insults, elaborate animations of bad guys and even story “clues” tossed out in the middle of the fire fight slow the game down intolerably. Throw on a jarring auto-aim feature that zooms the perspective when you shoot at someone far away, and you've devolved what little action there is into pure confusion. And where is Orson Scott Card's input? We're not sure, but we hope Nebula award-winning authors don't write dialogue like: 'Are you called Little Head for what's above your shoulders ... or something a little bit lower?'”

NFL '97 (Saturn)

#11

“Saturn has been out for over two years, yet somehow this is the first football game the once-proud Sega Sports division has been able to release. Was it worth the wait? In a word: No. Gamers looking for evidence that Sega has forgotten that sports games are what made the Genesis a success need look no further. Not only did it take two years to put out a dismal football game, but Sega didn't even make it – they purchased the game from sports newcomer Gametek, who also sold the PlayStation version to Konami. The lifeless graphics and ill-conceived passing arc are just two examples of what make this one of the worst football games in years. Other elements like poor control just add to the already unpleasant experience. The only question remaining is what happened to the people at Sega responsible for good football games like NFL '95?”

Obsidian (PC)

#12

“It's both amazing and depressing how popular Myst has been and continues to be. With the sole exception of Doom, it has the most clones of any computer game in existence. Sadly, Obsidian is a copycat product that isn't as interesting as the game it imitates. While the designers have tried to make everything as weird as possible, that mostly takes the form of adding a lot of extraneous detail that has little to do with puzzles that actually get you somewhere. If you want to play yet another puzzle game, you might as well get Myst. At least that has the infamy of being first. Obsidian is just another rip-off.”

Sky Target (Saturn)

#13

“Even with the Model 2 board backing it in the arcades, Sky Target, a shooter patterened after the classic Afterburner, missed the mark with its simplistic gameplay. Unfortunately, the conversion to Saturn has not been kind of what could, in a generous moment, only be considered adequate entertainment. Aside from the fact that the game looks atrocious, Sky Target's gameplay lacks the captivating nature of even a traditional twist shooter. As it stands, Sky Target lacks even the most rudimentary strategic element, since the game doesn't even require judicious use of ammunition. Move up, down, right, level and keep the missile and gatling gun buttons pushed down – that's the essence of Sky Target. In what can only be considered the dark ages for Satun, Sega has resorted to scraping the bottom of the barrel for home console conversions.”

Slam Scape (PlayStation)

#14

“The perfect example of designers mistaking a game engine for an actual game, Viacom/MTV's Slamscape is an amateurish attempt all around. A testament to the general lack of ambition shown in the title's development is the lack of options. This means no control over difficulty level, music volume, stage select and so on. Instead of anything useful, the player is treated to three music videos from a band called God Lives Underwater. Definitely not for hardcore gamers, this title is for those who don't know any better.”

Space Jam (PlayStation)

#15

“Well, this time Acclaim has gone too far, whoring out the NBA Jam engine one last time, saddling PlayStation with a game that feels disappointingly 16-bit. So, what does Acclaim have to offer here? A great basketball game? Nope. A fun showcase for the Warner Bros. characters? Nope. How about a stinking great commercial license with nothing of worth underneath? Yup. And th-th-that's all folks.”

Terra Cresta 3D (Saturn)

#16

“Why is it that lately game designers feel they have to add the “D” every time they make the third in a series? That has to be the only explanation for why Nichibutsu felt it had to create such a gratuitously polygonal shooter. The level design is of the lowest-common-denominator, cookie-cutter, purple-blotchy-copy-of-every-other-shooter-known-to-humankind variety. It's so predictable that the only reason players can't get their ships perfectly in place for the next wave of enemies is the slowness of the graphics engine. The unimaginative use of 3D is so pathetic it's execrable. Ideally, polygonal graphics should enhance the visual design by creating smoothly animated enemies and eye-catching levels. The polygons here not only slow the game speed, but also make the enemies and textures so bland that even the original Terra Cresta plays better.”

The Crow: City of Angels (PlayStation)

#17

“When a pre-release copy of The Crow: City of Angels arrived in our offices, we were amazed at how much work still needed to be done on the game. Control was horrible, it was very difficult to see what was going on, and collision detection was extremely inaccurate. Well, after seeing the final release version that will appear on store shelves, we were horrified to learn that the pre-release version we played was essentially complete after all. If Acclaim truly intends to survive through to the next generation, it had better rethink its strategy. Crap like this has no reason to exist.”

The Lords of Tantrazz (PC)

#18

“We shouldn't even review this, since it's only a “game” in the most technical sense of the word. Lords of Tantrazz is a graphic adventure, kind of, but it's not going to put much of a dent in the genre. Think of Myst with hand-drawn, comic book style art, then throw in a female secret agent with enormous breasts and add a liberal dose of gratuitous butt shots and you get the idea. It would be tempting to chalk this up to Atlantean's prior (ahem) “design strategy” behind its strip games, in which the interaction is secondary to the payoff. However, that argument holds water as well as a wicker chair, since the ending isn't even a real ending – it comes to a stop with a “wait for the exciting conclusion in Tantrazz II” message. Insulting. Pathetic.”

Battle Arena Toshinden URA (Saturn)

#19

“Battle Arena Toshinden was released at the time of PlayStation's launch. The game showcased the graphical prowess of the system. Since then, Sega has twice attempted to put it on Saturn, and both times its attempts have failed miserably. Any time you can beat the entire game on the hardest difficulty by mashing on one button – with your eyes closed – there's something wrong with you. With Toshinden URA you can do exactly that. Another problem is the Saturn's controller, which is usually perfect for fighting games like Street Fighter Alpha 2 and Virtua Fighter 2, but Toshinden was designed for PlayStation's pad, and just doesn't have the same intuitive feel on the Saturn. With all the competition in the 3D fighting arena, a poorly designed, choppy and basically ugly game like Toshinden URA has no chance.”

War Gods (Nintendo 64)

#20

“Like many Midway titles, War Gods originated in the arcade, and while Midway has an arcade legacy few can match in terms of popularity and longevity, one title that will never be remembered as a classic is War Gods. The sad thing is, despite all the extra effort that went into it, War Gods for Nintendo 64 still isn't any more fun than it was originally. It probably should have been left where it was and forgotten. The only point of interest are the easy-to-learn Mortak Kombat-style fighting system and a batch of horrific fatalities that are good for a chuckle the first time. Waiting for Mortal Kombat 4 was just made a lot easier.”

Westworld 2000 (PC)

#21

“Based on Michael Crichton's film Westworld, this game neither entertains as well as the film, nor even contains the same urgency or involved storyline: Basically, this game is about as fascinating as a pair of dirty underwear. The idea is fine, it's the execution that hurts. The first-person engine is sluggish, like something developed before even Wolfenstein 3D. The delay between a keypress and actual movement is unacceptable, and the graphics are flat as they come – it feels more like you're dealing with cardboard cutouts than any sort of 3D realm. Avoid this title at all costs.”