Nintendo Power Strategy Guide #4: 4-Player Extra

After nearly three hundred issues, Nintendo Power is finally coming to an end. To send this long-running periodical off in style, the Cover Critic has decided to review every single issue. Join him as he experiences every aspect of Nintendo's journey through their magazine covers.

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When it comes to Nintendo Power Strategy Guides, that Super Mario Bros. 3 issue made a ton of sense. The same goes for Final Fantasy, one of the first mainstream role-playing games to hit the Nintendo Entertainment System. I'm not sure about Ninja Gaiden, but appreciate that somebody is looking out for me. But when it comes to this sports-themed 4-player extra, this line of guides has jumped the shark.

Much like the Seahawk's game that brought the striking referees back to work, this football cover was the thing that killed Nintendo Power's strategy guides. With only the flimsiest of themes and very little worthwhile information, this month's issue is a bust. It only benefits a handful of people who bought the NES Satellite (a wireless four-player adaptor for your wired NES controllers) and like sports games. Everybody else might as well start counting the days until next month's issue.

Even if we ignore how absurd this whole issue is, we're still stuck with a laughably stupid cover. Nothing says 4-player football action like being stuck in space. Hey jocks, put down the damn controller and play real football. You have a ball and goalpost, what more do you need? Those things are extremely rare in space, so consider yourself lucky. And if you insist on sticking with the video game, then pull up a chair and get out of that smelly protective gear. Or at least take off the helmets. I tell you; kids these days.