Nintendo Power #2: September/October 1988 - Castlevania II

After nearly three hundred issues, Nintendo Power is finally coming to an end. To send this long-running periodical off in style, the Cover Critic has decided to review every single issue. Join him as he experiences every aspect of Nintendo's journey through their magazine covers.

D+
After creating one of the greatest magazine covers of all time, Nintendo Power followed it up with this head-scratching monstrosity. Forget Michael Dukakis, this Castlevania II design is the biggest loser of 1988. This is not an October surprise, it's a punishment. Nintendo's tone deafness has marred what could have been an incredibly effective photo. Instead of a spooky look, the whole thing comes off as cheap, lazy and campy.

Nintendo Power would like us to believe that we're looking at Simon Belmont, famed vampire hunter and star of Castlevania II for the Nintendo Entertainment System. But it can't be Simon, because the Dracula slayer doesn't wear a helmet. What's more, Simon famously uses a whip, not a sword. And I seriously doubt that Drac's eyes would continue to glow after Simon removed the head from the body.

Even if you can get past the weird inconsistencies, we're still left with a cover that looks like it was sponsored by Party City. Dracula's head is nothing more than a cheap mask, and that armor isn't fooling anybody. Some of this could have been thwarted with a better photographer and a working knowledge of the subject matter. The only intriguing moment involves a mysterious skeleton hand rising up from the smoke machine. That hand hints at a significantly creepier cover that nobody bothered making.