Nintendo Power #4: January/February 1989 - Zelda II

After nearly three hundred issues, Nintendo Power is finally coming to an end. To send this long-running periodical off in style, the Cover Critic has decided to review every single issue. Join him as he experiences every aspect of Nintendo's journey through their magazine covers.

B+
After turning Simon Belmont into a mask-holding, sword-wielding punchline, the costuming department is back to screw up Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Here we see a mullet-clad Link, decked to the nine with a weird fishnet wrap and a glowing sword. Either this is a picture of a hero looking at the woman he loves for the last time before battle, or he's about to tell the Princess that he's gay and running off to join a Richard Marx cover band.

The decor is effective, albeit simple. We have two large pillars, a night stand, a flaming pot and a red carpet. Zelda's room is full of dust and nobody seems the slightest bit concerned. If Link was a real friend, he would stop off at Best Buy and pick up a portable HEPA filter. Dungeon crawling can wait; what we have here is a healthy breathing emergency!

With the exception of Link's questionable style and the hair Zelda stole from Rick James, this is a remarkable improvement over the ghastly Castlevania cover. Still, there's something about these costumed pictures that feels phony to me. I find the reflection off of Link's shield to be distracting, focusing my attention on the purple drapes. Before long I'm spending all my time wondering if that glowing sword is hot to the touch. Still, debating the merits of this cover is more fun than actually playing Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.