After nearly three hundred issues, Nintendo Power is finally coming to an end. To send this long-running periodical off in style, the Cover Critic has decided to review every single issue. Join him as he experiences every aspect of Nintendo's journey through their magazine covers.

Thanks to too many years of living the single's life, I have managed to hone my skill at spotting crazy eyes. All it takes is a few questions and I definitively know whether my date is going to get my ass fired and arrested on trumped up charges. For years I wondered if it was only women who had these peculiar peepers, but this Nintendo Power cover proves that even white men dressed as ninjas can have crazy eyes. This particular Ryu looks like he just got done keying your car for no good reason.

Yes, this is another costumed photo shoot with mixed results. The good news here is that the props department got some much-needed time off. Instead of real world objects, Ryu is standing in front of drawn buildings, a forest and horizon. In the distance is The Jaquio's fortress, which means that our hero has some ground to cover before the full eclipse sends this world into chaos.

For such a simple concept, this cover leaves me with more questions than answers. Why are the trees as large as the tallest buildings? How is it that nobody noticed The Jaquio's compound in the distance before now? Why is there both a large moon behind the fortress and a partial eclipse? Either the artist thinks we have two moons or we're about to get hit by Melancholia. And while we're asking the important questions, what the heck does "New Hit in Cinema Display" mean? Is that even English? Making matters worse is the fact that I'm pretty sure that ninja just keyed my car.