Kids today have it easy. Thanks to the power of the internet, today's gamer doesn't even need to drive to the store to buy new games. And yet those entitled little brats still complain about everything. Back in my day, we had real problems. To prove my point, I would like to take you on a trip back to the 20th century. Don't cry to me about optional DLC and $15 games that are too expensive, because we had real problems. Here's an example ...


Boobs are scary. I know that half the world's population (and overweight men) has them, but there's something about the mammary glands that sends Americans into a white hot rage. From the country collectively rioting after seeing Janet Jackson's bare breast at Super Bowl XXXVIII to the internet nearly breaking at the thought of seeing Jennifer Lawrence naked, it's clear that a boobs are a big deal.

This was certainly the case in 1991, when readers discovered that their favorite family-friendly magazines were destroying our youth's precious innocence with graphic nudie pictures. In their February 1991 issue, Electronic Gaming Monthly published not one, but two screenshots featuring topless fairies (pictured above). These images came from the build on display at the Winter Consumer Electronics Show and found their way into several other publications.


Leave it to a pervy reader to notice these images, pull his pants back up and write EGM a letter. Brendon Smithes wondered if Sega had decided to broaden their horizons and finally allow nudity in their games. He then concluded his letter by announcing to the world that he can't wait for this obscene game.

Today's games aren't afraid to show topless women, but that certainly wasn't the case 23 years ago. Sega of America flipped out, threatening developer RazorSoft with legal action. Stormlord was changed before release, giving the pixel fairies a silver bra to wear. We then went back to pretending that something as natural as female breasts are dirty and should be kept hidden away from view.


Of course, this wasn't the only time nudity crept into classic video games. Plenty of developers were able to hide naughty artwork throughout their games. Often it was because the pixel graphics weren't detailed enough to be noticed, while other times it just slipped through the cracks. Fans of Wild Woody and Rampage World Tour were treated to full frontal nudity, and they weren't alone. Hell, even Naughty Dog's logo featured a topless woman at one time (via a simple code).

The difference is that none of this nudity made it into the pages of America's most family-friendly publications. It's not every day you flip through the GamePro and stumble on bare breasts.