Defunct Games RECAPPED!! Sept. 2006 Edition

You just spent the last two weeks catching up on all of the new fall TV shows, you urinated on your own red carpet, and after hours of standing in line you were able to get your hands on a Tickle Me Extreme Elmo doll! It sounds like you just survived September of 2006! It was a month that brought us the Tokyo Game Show, a drunk Mel Gibson and a Screech sex tape! But just because you were named the most beautiful woman in the world, Scarlett Johannsen, doesn't mean you have to move on! This is Defunct Games RECAPPED!!, your monthly guide to the best and worst of the last 30 days. This is all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you forgot about and all the stuff you can't wait to see again! So just because you were the latest victim of the Madden Curse it doesn't mean you have to miss the very best (and the very worst) of September 2006!
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Why This Article? It wouldn't be the fall season without Defunct Games bringing in a brand new show. We've decided to add After Thoughts to our line up, in hopes that it will compete with the likes of Lost, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Regardless of how well it does, After Thoughts: Devil May Cry is a fantastic start to what we hope is a long-running show. And in case you haven't noticed, it also features moving images and audio ... something you don't get with a lot of the shows on Defunct Games (Commercial Break, we're looking at you). If you're the type of person that loves Defunct Games but hates to read, then After Thoughts is the perfect show for you.

In each episode of After Thoughts we take a look at some of the silliest video created by other video game websites. We take what GameSpot, IGN and 1up.com is proud of and reduces it to a joke. In this episode we look at GameSpot's game show, Button Mashing, as well as their painful Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II tournament. Then we turn our attention to The 1up Show, which features a conversation so terrible that it could only be shown on the internet. How bad is it? It's worse than almost every sitcom on ABC! You know it's bad if it's worse than Freddy. But that's not the reason After Thoughts is our favorite show of September; we just think this is a well put together episode that does something that nobody else is trying. We all love the video stuff that GameSpot, IGN and 1up.com are doing ... but we enjoy making fun of it more. So sit back, get yourself some popcorn, and enjoy watching what we consider to be the single best article of the month!

Post-Article Thoughts: "This month it was easy to choose a number one article, I just had to go back to the one that brought me the most joy. Long time readers will note that recently Defunct Games has added more video content, something that has come with mixed results. While I'm proud of all three of the video features published on Defunct Games, it's this new show, After Thoughts, that I am the most proud of. Not only do I find the theme to be a lot of fun, but I love how well it is put together. Sure, there is some room for improvement, but this episode does everything it should. Over the past year I have been toying with the idea of having a Talk Soup-like show that makes fun of everybody else's video features, and I think this episode of After Thoughts does an excellent job of that. I plan on creating many more episodes of this show, but first I need to figure out what the next game will be. Devil May Cry worked perfect for what I was doing, especially since Capcom was about to show off Devil May Cry 4 at the Tokyo Game Show. As long as the video game websites keep giving me stupid video features to make fun of, I'm going to keep on producing these episodes of After Thoughts!" -Cyril Lachel
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Why This Article? Lately the entire staff of Defunct Games has fallen in love with LocoRoco, the most adorable game you will ever see. But it's not just Defunct Games that loves the game, 1up.com went as far as to name it the "happiest game ever." We wanted to see how true that is, so put Sony's newest 2D platformer to the ultimate test. We came up with seven of the most depressing events we could think of and attempted to figure out whether LocoRoco could make things better. Unfortunately LocoRoco doesn't have the power to make things better; it's just a video game. But we put it up against a mystery illness, burning houses, being fired from your job and being kicked out of the band. Curious how LocoRoco faired against these depressing events? Find out now when you read our second best article of September 2006!

Post-Article Thoughts: "Going into this I knew that LocoRoco was not going to solve anybody's problems, there is no game that can solve the problem of losing your job, having a mystery illness or being shipped off to Iraq. But there is something about this Bonus Level that is therapeutic. Over the past two weeks I have been going through some depressing personal problems, the type of thing that can't be made better by a simple PSP game. While my issue is not as bad as a house burning down or being cheated on, I have been kind of down lately and needed something to pick me up. The game certainly didn't bring me out of my rut, but writing this article certainly helped. It was fun to imagine the worst possible things and then write about them in the most over-the-top way imaginable. A few people complained via email, suggesting that I was making fun of those with illnesses and the unemployed, but that certainly wasn't my intent when I wrote it. Instead I wanted to give you some of the most extreme examples of depressing moments and see if LocoRoco could comfort them. The fact that this PSP title can't bring you out of the deepest depression shouldn't be a sign that LocoRoco isn't good, it's just not strong enough to get you out of Section 8 housing." -Cyril Lachel
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Why This Article? Come one, come all, it's time for you to win a brand new bag of crap. It's stuff you probably wouldn't pay for given to you for free, assuming you actually win our contest. It's the Worst PAX Contest Ever, and
Defunct Games is proud to be the one bringing it to you! In this contest we invite you to tell us what you want to see at the next Penny Arcade Expo, if we like it we may send you a bag full of odds and ends we found at this year's event. It may not be as cool as winning a car or a bunch of free games, but it's a start. The contest is still open and we invite everybody who has yet to enter to do so now. This isn't a full article like the rest of the shows mentioned in this recap, but it's still good enough to be our third favorite story of September!

Post-Article Thoughts: "After five and a half years of life, I figured it was about time to give our readers a real-life contest. Why not give away some of the stuff I grabbed from the Penny Arcade Expo? It's not as cool as winning a car, a bunch of games or even a free pass to next year's show, but it's a whole lot better than not winning anything. I'm including this on our RECAPPED!! list to remind those of you who have yet to enter that the contest is still open, you are free to submit your ideas and possibly win. Sometime in the future we will announce the winners, expose the brilliant ideas they came up with and send out the prizes. When will that be? When I feel like it, that's when. For the time being I enjoy hearing your ideas and look forward to receiving more as the month goes on. We may not be giving away a flat screen TV, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy using the after shave while flipping through the official PAX booklet." -Cyril Lachel
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Why This Article? Did you want to attend the Penny Arcade Expo but couldn't get tickets? Do you live too far away to get to Bellevue, Washington? Do you want to see what Defunct Games thought of this year's event? Now is
your chance, thanks to the invention of video! Now is your chance to see everything you missed in this special we are calling Penny Arcade Expo in 15 Minutes! In this video we introduce you to Eets, enter the World's Smallest Dungeon, go inside the Omegathon III, and check out the Guitar Hero tournament. Still not impressed? What if I told you that about half way through it's nothing but naked women? Okay, that's not true, but our video did catch a lot of really cool things you won't see anywhere else. We feel that this video is worth your time, and that's why it's here at number four on our countdown!

Post-Article Thoughts: "This is the second video feature on our list, and despite the fact that it's not at the top of the list, I still consider this to be a strong contender. The truth is, we had a lot of great articles last month, too many to list in this episode of RECAPPED!! The Penny Arcade Expo in 15 Minutes is actually closer to 22 minutes, and it's filled with some of my favorite moments from the largest video game convention held in Bellevue, Washington. After we posted this article we received a number of compliments from the people that are actually in the video itself. The people behind the World's Smallest Dungeon were especially impressed, and had nothing but nice things to say about Defunct Games. Unfortunately they decided against promoting us on their website, but I'll forgive them for that this time. This video was a lot of fun to make and I feel like I'm learning more and more about this video editing thing each time I make a new video. Next year will be even better, thanks to a larger location and better panel discussions. Oh, and don't forget to wave to Khahil!" -Cyril Lachel
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Why This Article? Confessions of a Danish Cover Critic is one of the two episodes of The Cover Critic we ran in September, and it's the only one worth putting on this list. That's not to say that the other episode
(The Under Cover Critic) isn't worth reading, but we chose to reward the one episode that shows you why you shouldn't have your large bombs next to wildfires. This episode of The Cover Critic gave us a chance to make fun of Konami, Sega, and a guy who is shooting at a ghost. It also demonstrates why you should never, ever name your game Fun 'N' Games. This article may be low on the list, but that doesn't mean it's of low quality. See why we featured Confessions of a Cover Critic in this episode of RECAPPED!!, you won't be sorry you did.

Post-Article Thoughts: "Last month we had two different episodes of The Cover Critic, so my job was to figure out which of the two deserved to be on the list. It wasn't an easy decision; The Under Cover Critic featured erotic games, a couple of Master System entries and a ridiculous cover for Pocket Tennis. But after going back and seeing what we talked about in Confessions of a Danish Cover Critic, I realized that my decision was actually pretty easy. Here is an article that offers something for everybody; it has a terrible fighting game, a guy shooting at ghosts, a game that has to remind you that it's fun, and a man sitting on a giant bomb. Okay, maybe that's not something for everybody; it is a lot of fodder to make fun of. Had this episode also included that erotica game it might have been at the top of the list, but it didn't, and that's why we are keeping it at number five." -Cyril Lachel