You just spent three days waiting outside for the iPhone, you realized that Shadowrun isn't nearly as good as you were led to believe, and Rainbow Six Vegas FINALLY came out for the PlayStation 3. It sounds like you just barely survived June 2007! It's a month that brought us the Manhunt 2 ban, the sudden end of The Sopranos, and the most expensive comedy of all time. But just because you went to jail, got out of jail, went back to jail and then got out of jail again, Paris Hilton, doesn't mean that you have to miss out on all of the fun. This is Defunct Games RECAPPED!!, your monthly guide to the best and worst of the last 30 days. This is all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you forgot about and all the stuff you can't wait to see again! So even if you don't feel you are part of the Executive Branch, Dick Cheney, we have your back and are about to recap all of the articles and reviews of June 2007!
Why This Article?
It's rude. It's crude. It's controversial. And, best of all, it's completely backed up with audio clips and real life facts. It's Mitch Gitelman Goes Down, Defunct Games' three-page expose on the whiner that is Mitch Gitelman. In case you've never heard the name before, Mitch is the head of FASA Studio, the company that recently developed Shadowrun for the Xbox 360. This month Mitch was all over the place trying to defend his newest first-person shooter, a solid action game that many believe is not worth the full $60 asking price. Even though his game is averaging 70% (out of 100%), Mitch feels that this isn't high enough. He thinks that his team worked too hard for such a "low" score and wants everybody to know how outraged he is. First he appeared with Microsoft mouthpiece Major Nelson, and then found his way over to the OXM podcast. In both cases he spent his entire time battling the media and accusing us of bias.
In this three-page article we actually take Mitch to task. Instead of just letting him get away with his misinformation, we hold Mitch accountable for his outrageous statements. Not only have we transcribed some of his craziest comments, but we also decided to feature an audio sample of all twelve of his statements. Listen as he compares his game to Team Fortress 2, laugh as he attempts to convince us that football is a shallow experience, watch us cringe as he suggests that most of the people that reviewed his game aren't journalists, and get angry each and every time he brings up bias. Mitch has every right to his opinion, but it's hard to take somebody seriously when they spend all their time complaining about a 7.0 score. Mitch Gitelman Goes Down is the type of article you won't find anywhere else; it's an independent look at one man's meltdown. If this isn't the best article we posted all month then I don't know what is!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"I'm not afraid of Mitch Gitelman! As far as I'm concerned it's about time somebody stands up against the recent trend of crybaby game developers. At first it was Dennis Dyack (Too Human, Eternal Darkness), then it was David Jaffe (God of War, Twisted Metal), and now it's FASA Studio head Mitch Gitelman. The problem with this recent trend of developers is that if you say one bad thing about their game they take it personal and attack the messenger. I'm sorry that not everybody loved your game, but if you can't handle criticism from video game journalists then maybe you shouldn't be making video games. Of course, if you go by what Mitch says then most of us aren't even game journalists! While we took a lot of flak for calling out Mitch like this, I feel that it's articles like Mitch Gitelman Goes Down that sets Defunct Games apart from the GameSpots and 1ups of the world. Make no mistake about it, Shadowrun is a solid action game with a lot of great ideas ... but it's not the amazing game that Mitch seems to think it is. And while that's just my opinion, it also seems to be the overwhelming opinion of most game critics. So Mitch, you can either accept these people's opinions or you can continue to look like a fool and whine about getting an unfair shake. The choice is yours."
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
In our on-going attempt to teach each and every person about the history of the video game industry, Defunct Games rolls out our second episode of A Brief History of Gaming. This is Sega Does What Nintendoes; a story that tries to point out that Nintendo wasn't the only company spending the last twenty years innovating. These days Sega takes a lot of abuse for running Sonic into the ground, killing off their Dreamcast and completely mishandling their classic franchises, but there once was a time when they weren't afraid to try new
things. This old school Sega was ready to jump face first into the world of CD-ROM technology, 3D glasses and new ways to control the game. While Sega may have had mixed results (at best), you can't fault them for at least giving this stuff a shot. We feel that this pro-Sega look at the history of game innovation is worth reading, and that's why we consider it the second best article of June!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"I think there was something lost with this article, and I truly regret that. I think I just didn't narrow down my goals enough, which is something to fix with the next one. I really wanted to show the various innovations that Sega has brought to the industry, many of which we still use to this day, and how they weren't afraid of thinking outside of the box in order to take on the behemoth power of Nintendo. It was through their direct challenges and technological innovations and changes that caused the game industry itself to grow into what it is today instead of being content with what it had. Imagine if the Super Nintendo didn't have the Genesis to compete against, or if the Game Boy was completely unchallenged in the handheld arena. If this had happened, there would have been no need for the technology, gameplay, and stories to evolve into more complex and satisfying adventures. To this day it irks me when people claim that Nintendo innovates because it cares about its fan base. The simple, honest truth is that Nintendo innovates because its competitors innovate - and because it cares about the money of its fan base. Last time I checked, you couldn't walk into a Wal-Mart and pick up a Wii for free. Direct competition is what allows the industry to become better, and Sega was one of the very first to take Nintendo head on and let them know that if they relaxed, Sega wouldn't hesitate to do their job better. For me, that will always guarantee Sega a special place in my memories."
-Wes Grogan
Why This Article?
In our only episode of Radio Free Gaming for June we take some time out of our busy schedules to argue that numbers aren't biased! You heard it here first, numbers are not people ... they don't come in with pre-conceived notions about stuff. They're numbers, not game critics. But I digress; this
was a spectacular episode full of yelling, screaming and stupid comments. For example, where else are you going to hear somebody say that they didn't know that Bomberman was a multiplayer game? And why listen to the entire GameSpot podcast when you could hear the best moments here? And just what game was OXM's podcast talking about?? It's a half hour of crazy clips that you won't get anywhere else. Well, actually, scratch that ... you'll get these clips elsewhere, but this is the only place where they all come together to form one amazing 30 minutes of solid funny! And seriously, if that's not worth your time then what is? As far as we're concerned there is no better feature on Defunct Games to fill the number three spot on our countdown.
Post-Article Thoughts:
"It's funny how every time I yell at somebody our ratings seem to go up. It's been a few episodes since I got angry in a podcast, but it definitely proved to be a popular move. If I remember correctly the last time I've really gotten angry at somebody was when we featured "douche bag of the year" Ben Folds talking about taking pictures of fat people. This time around I didn't get nearly as angry, but it does seem a little shocking that there are people out there that think that numbers are biased. And not just that, but somebody who doesn't even know that Bomberman is a multiplayer game. It would be one thing if the person had never played Bomberman before, but it's completely unacceptable when you claim to have played the game and not know it's meant for multiplayer parties. Good lord, where do they find these podcasts?"
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
This month Defunct Games decided to take a break from making fun of everybody else's stupid videos to check out a dozen of the strangest commercials you ever will see. This was actually our third stab at this type of show and I dare say that it's getting better with every new episode. In this episode we take a look at the original Legend of Zelda for the NES, some strange PlayStation 2 advertising, a pro-housewife Mario Party spot, and the best damn Devil May Cry commercial of all time. And that's not all; this
episode is filled with some of the strangest clips we could collect, each with some sort of funny introduction. Sure you can find each and every one of these commercials alone on the internet, but who has the time to go searching the bowels of the web to find crazy Devil May Cry advertising? We say that it's easier to just check out this Defunct Games video program and let all of the bizarre, funny and insane clips overwhelm your senses. If you don't laugh at least once then we guarantee you'll get your money back ... we're that sure of this article. And that, my friends, is why The Best Damn Commercial Show Period 3 is the fifth best article of June 2007!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"I'll admit, this is the type of broadcast that takes almost no time to produce. I have what seems like a never ending collection of funny advertisements, from the birth of the industry to present day. But even though it doesn't take much time to put one of these episodes together I still think they are enormously fun to watch ... and from our viewer numbers I think that most of you would agree. Even before I compiled the advertisements for this episode I knew I needed to feature that Devil May Cry commercial. Without a doubt, that Devil May Cry advert is simply one of the best commercials I have ever seen and belongs in a video like this. The rest of the advertisements are good too, but they pale in comparison to Capcom's classic commercial. If you have yet to watch this fifteen minute episode then click the link right now and skip right to Devil May Cry ... you won't be sorry!"
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
When you look outside you'll notice that it's hot, there are no games coming out and the kids seem to be out of school. There's no doubt about it: It's summer! And with summer comes brand new programming, including our newest show, A Brief History of Gaming. Every two weeks we check in with Wes Grogan to see what kind of history lesson he has in store for us. For his very first episode Wes decided to go all the way back to the birth of the game industry and talk about Ralph Baer and his importance on gaming in general. But this
episode isn't just about Baer's Brown Box, it also deals with a certain pizza-loving salesman named Nolan Bushnell, the man who made Atari a household name. The Baer Necessities is a fascinating look at the very origins of the game industry, a part of our history that is often forgotten by gamers who only know of Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft. If you're one of those gamers who wants to learn about what happened before Nintendo even dreamt up the Famicom then The Baer Necessities is for you, and that's why we feel that it's the fifth best article of the month!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"This was the first article I wrote for Defunct Games, and ultimately I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to focus on. Naturally, these articles will evolve over time and become more focused, but I definitely wasn't disappointed with how the first one turned out. Naturally, having Ralph Baer and Nolan Bushnell as the subjects made it far more interesting, and defining the beginning of the video game industry will make my future articles much easier to write. Overall, there has been a great deal of misinformation and gossip about what happened between Baer and Bushnell, and I'm truly glad to have been able to help in getting the accurate information out there. As a side note, and something I wasn't able to work into the article, Baer actually got his revenge against Bushnell in a fitting, ironic twist. The electronic Simon game, still selling well to this day, was stolen directly from Bushnell. I guess what goes around really does come around!"
-Wes Grogan
Why This Article?
No we're not talking about the food. When it comes to judging which is better, the staff of Defunct Games doesn't care if you like McDonald's or Burger King. We're big fans of Red Robin, thank you very much! But this article isn't about burgers; instead we take a look at each company's video game output. Believe it or not, both McDonald's and Burger King have several high profile video games, but only one of these companies actually has games worth playing. Would you believe that in the world of video games a
colorful clown could beat a creepy king? It's true, because when it comes right down to it McDonald's past games far outshine those recent Burger King titles. While one set of games comes off as nothing more than annoying advertisements, the other burger joint featured games that were developed by talented programmers and offered you more than a reason to buy their fries. It may not be the most convincing argument of all time, but since so many gamers only know of Burger King's games we felt that it was important to remind everybody that in the world of interactive entertainment, the Big Mac is king!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"I hate McDonald's. As a kid I avoided seeing Ronald McDonald as much as I possibly could, and now that I'm old enough to choose what I eat, I actively stay away from the Big Mac. But just because I hate Ronald McDonald with a passion that doesn't mean I can't take a few minutes out of my day and appreciate the one good thing he's done: Starred in some pretty good video games! Global Gladiators is still one of my favorite 2D action games, it troubles me that this is one game we will probably never see on the Virtual Console. What I hope is that Virgin Interactive goes back and edits out all of the McDonald's stuff and releases it on the Virtual Console as your standard environmental themed action game. Or better yet, Mick & Mack's Inconvenient Truth ... I'm sure Al Gore wouldn't mind giving up the license to spread the word. Either way, some of those old school McDonald's games are a lot of fun. And you know, that's more than I can say about those Burger King games!"
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
Have you noticed that so far this year most of the big game releases have been remakes of three year old games? Just take a look at The Chronicles of Riddick, Ninja Gaiden and even Resident Evil 4. Oh sure, most companies have brand new games coming out later in the year, but are we the only ones worried about all of the remakes of games that are practically new? It's one thing to remake a ten year old game, but it seems a bit excessive to re-release something that is only two or three years old. In
this 127th episode of the On Running Feuds we felt like it was our duty to point out just how many companies are falling into the trap of re-releasing recent games just to pad their bank account. The good news is that we all know that these upcoming games are high quality and a lot of fun, but at the same time, most of us have already played them. Because we felt that it was important to point out this troubling trend we think it deserves to be on our list ... in seventh place!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"While I love the idea of this article, there's one reason why I'm not happy with the way it turned out - I completely forgot about Halo 2. While I was spending all my time talking about Resident Evil 4, Ninja Gaiden and The Chronicles of Riddick, the fact that I completely left out Halo 2 makes me hate this article. While it's not a console game, Halo 2 is the perfect example of a game from 2004 that has been resurrected to play on a next generation system ... in this case it's a next generation operating system (Vista). It didn't take long before I realized this mistake, but by the time Halo 2 popped into my head it was too late. So if you're reading this before checking out the article I suggest you go ahead and add another paragraph about Halo 2 ... because there's no way for me to do that at this point. I can only imagine if I had remembered Halo 2 this article would have been about perfect and probably would have ranked much higher on the list. Oh well, something had to rank at the bottom, right?"
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
We're not going to say that This Week In Defunct Games is the worst article (articles, plural) of May, but none of us feel like it should be counted with shows like Commercial Break, On Running Feud and Radio Free Gaming. This Week In Defunct Games is just a recap show, a page that tells you about all of the best (and worst) classic games that came out on the Xbox 360, Wii and PlayStation 3. Off topic, do you think all of the companies intended for their systems to rhyme? Anyway, this month we actually had a diverse collection of games, including Street Fighter II Turbo, Prince of Persia Classic, Sonic the
Hedgehog 2, Milon's Secret Castle, and the 100th game on the Virtual Console! And best of all, this month marked the month when Cyril finally chose a co-host for the MP3 podcast! Finally the podcast is more than a one-man show, it's a chance for both Cyril and Wes to argue, debate and agree on the week in classic games ... as well as hash out the rest of the retro news. If you've been waiting for us to snag a co-host then wait no more, because the This Week In Defunct Games podcast is new and improved (and much, much longer)!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"It's been a really great month for This Week in Defunct Games ... and not just because we had a ton of great games to talk about. After months of looking we finally found a co-host, who coincidentally is the same guy working on our newest show, A Brief History of Gaming! We Grogan adds a lot to the podcast, by including him we've been able to feature a retro podcast that is well over an hour and full of (usually) interesting conversations. We also have a chance to tie in the This Week in Defunct Games podcast with A Brief History of Gaming, something I am very proud of. Wes and I are still working some of the bugs out of our recording ... but I think that once we learn each other's talk pattern and jokes we'll have a show that's truly spectacular. If you haven't been listening to the This Week in Defunct Games podcast then shame on you, now is your chance to catch up and see just how much Wes adds to this audio feature."
-Cyril Lachel
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