You just got done standing in a 12 hour line to pick up a Nintendo Wii, you decided to support the striking writers, you accidentally knocked up Britney Spears' little sister and you're getting sick of reading everybody's Best-Of lists. It sounds like you just barely survived December 2007. It's a month that brought us the sequel to NiGHTS into Dreams, the Patriot's perfect season and downloadable Xbox games. But just because you were too busy getting arrested at a Walgreens, Shia Labeouf, that doesn't mean you have to miss out on all of the fun. This is Defunct Games RECAPPED!!, your monthly guide to the best and worst of the last 31 days. This is all the stuff you missed, all the stuff you forgot about and all the stuff you can't wait to see again! So when you finally have some time to relax after your heart attack, Alex Trebek, know that Defunct Games has you covered with the best and worst of December 2007. It may be a new year, but prepare to be disgusted by the final RECAPPED of 2007!
Why This Article?
The Holiday season is here again and that can only mean one thing: It's time to open presents and hang out with the family. Actually, it means something completely different around the offices of Defunct Games. Every year Defunct Games celebrates this season by offering a daily themed article that counts down the days from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Last year we took a look at the 33 Consoles of Christmas, two years ago we talked about our favorite articles and in 2003 we reviewed all of the classic game magazines from the last thirty years. In the seven years since starting this site we've managed to look at everything from classic game moments to rare game accessories. So the big question going into Thanksgiving was: What the hell is Defunct Games going to talk about this Holiday season?
After much debate at the Defunct Games office, we've decided to look at the 34 Cliches of Christmas. That's right, for 34 days we're going to look at the biggest and most annoying cliches ever seen in video games. I'm talking about everything from completely helpless women to hidden key cards to the exploding red barrel; it's all here in the 34 Cliches of Christmas. Of course, you probably already knew that. Chances are you saw us post this article in November and have been following it for the last five weeks. You read through our entire list of cliches and already know which are realistic and which are not. You already know all this stuff, which is why it seems odd to feature this 34-part article in the RECAPPED yet again. But where else are we going to put it? It was the biggest article of the month of December; it took up three weeks of our time. So we say suffer through it, who cares if you've seen this all before? Now is your chance to go back and read each of the 34 cliches at your own convenience. And once you've done that you can come back and tell us if you think it's worth featuring as the single best article of December 2007!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"The problem with writing an article like this is that there are always more cliches I could write about. The truth is that I could probably talk about a different cliche every day of the year, but I'm not about to do that since it would really screw up the rest of the year. There are a lot of cliches I didn't have a chance to talk about, but that doesn't mean I don't intend to get to them. I'm always writing articles about cliches, so look for more cliche articles to show up in the near future. The good news is that I'm now done with 2007, so now I can spend the next ten months thinking about what the Holiday 08 theme will be. But you won't get any spoilers from me, instead you will have to put up with a year of regular features until we finally loop back to the happiest time of the year. That's not a New Year's resolution, that's a promise!"
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
Outside of our holiday article and the regular features (Recapped, This Week in Defunct Games, etc.), the only show we uploaded this month was the 138th episode of the On Running Feuds. After two weeks of listening to everybody else talk about Gerstmanngate, Defunct Games decided to weigh in on this hot topic by comparing the GameSpot haters to Jack Thompson. Yes, we went there. While it's easy (and fun) to jump to conclusions, we feel
that it's important to know the facts before spending too much time lighting torches and marching against CNET. In this article we do our best to stamp out some of the hysteria and try to have a normal discourse. Unfortunately that fails, so we spend the rest of the article comparing gamers to the things they hate (such as Jack Thompson). It's the only regular show we featured last month, so you might as well check it out!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"I'll admit, when I first heard the rumors about Jeff Gerstmann's firing I was livid. Not only was Jeff a good writer, but he's a really nice guy, too. Whenever I would see him at industry events he would always be friendly and give me the time to pitch Defunct Games. So when I learned that it was going to be a lot harder to find his work I was bummed. But as time went on I started to wonder if there was more to the story. It wasn't until I started to see all of my friend's reactions that I realized just how crazy this conspiracy had gotten. For two weeks I read all sorts of angry forum posts; just about everybody was out for blood. By this time I had calmed down and had moved on, but I figured that after fourteen days I should probably say something. And that's when the Jack Thompson angle hit. Regardless of whether it's a great article or not (I'll leave that up to you to decide), this On Running Feud got a lot of attention because it was the only non-holiday article posted in December. I got a lot of email looking for me to clarify some points, but that's just what happens when you take a contrarian point of view. But that's what you get from Defunct Games, a website that actually thinks for itself."
-Cyril Lachel
Why This Article?
Every week we take a few minutes out of our day to tell recap the best and worst in retro gaming. We call it This Week in Defunct Games, and each Thursday we tell you what we thought of the most recent games for the Nintendo Virtual Console, Microsoft Xbox Live Arcade, Sony PlayStation Network and GameTap. We may have been busy with our annual holiday article, but that didn't stop us from covering all of the old school games in this regular feature. Despite having some setbacks, December was a solid month for retro games. In December we
had the opportunity to talk about everything from Blades of Steel to Pokemon Snap. Along the way we got into a fight about Blades of Steel, confused Alien Storm with Alien Soldier, discussed the difference between Tempest and Space Giraffe, fell in love with Ghouls 'N Ghosts all over again and remembered just how lame Eternal Champions really was. Who knows what Nintendo has in store for 2008, but if it's anywhere as good as what we got in 2007 then this is going to be a very expensive year. But don't worry; you won't have to navigate the murky waters of the Virtual Console alone. Nope, instead you can tag along with Defunct Games as we give you another year of weekly retro articles. Go ahead and click the link to find out why we feel that all four episodes of This Week in Defunct Games is our third favorite feature of December!
Post-Article Thoughts:
"We don't normally add the This Week in Defunct Games section to our monthly recap article, but this is not your normal month. While this is more about padding (since the article was already a little on the short side), part of me does want to remind Defunct Games readers about this weekly article. We have a lot of fun each Thursday, so if you're one of those that skips right past our This Week in Defunct Games articles then you should make it a point to check one out. Every week we show you how to play free games, so you don't even need to own an Xbox 360 or Nintendo Wii. Expect the full return of This Week starting tomorrow, when we review Metal Slug, Top Hunter, Bubble Bobble and Light Crusader. Apparently the retro games don't take a break ... and neither do we!"
-Cyril Lachel
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