The Grinch

Welcome, Christmas; bring your cheer,
Cheer to everyone, far and near.
Christmas Day is in our grasp,
But The Grinch is not the game to clasp.
This may have seemed a fit for Playstation,
But it just disappointed the young generation.
I don't really like the film directed by Opie.
Mugging and dumb jokes don't fill me with glee.
I still wanted to give to give the game a shot,
But it turned out to be all for naught.
I can't stop here; this review has to start.
It can't be as short as a baby Who's fart.

Right from the start, you play as the Grinch.
You're out to ruin Christmas which isn't a cinch.
When you reach Whoville, you have goals to try.
It's kinda like playing Mario 64 while high.
I take that bit back; the goals are not fun.
They're nothing but chores, every last one.
Smashing gift boxes or shooting eggs in windows,
With few exceptions, each goal really blows.
You can build some tools, but you'll get no joy.
They're a pain to use and as weak as a toy.
You can finish the game; it's really not hard.
But the joy that you'll get isn't worth your bank card.

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However, the game isn't a hundred percent bad.
The audio and visuals make me kinda glad.
The music isn't taken from the film, but that's fine.
The tunes the game plays are great for your ears and mine.
Likewise you'll never hear Hannibal narrate,
But the guy Konami got actually did great.
The visuals are colorful and fit the movie;
Too bad the glitches are the main thing you'll see.
The short draw distance is a total disgrace;
Whole houses will pop up right in your face.
The clipping is also a major eyesore.
Your feet will fall through the floor, and there's more.

The Grinch is not the worst platform game,
But there's no denying it is very lame.
The technical messes would not hold sway
If the game itself wasn't a chore to play.
Though it would seem ideal for this time of year,
Move along, Who-folk, nothing to see here.

By Adam Wallace

Posted December 23, 2016

	James Bond 007 Atari 2600	D-
	Legacy of Kain: Defiance Xbox	C+
	Castlevania: Lament of In ... PlayStation 2	C+
	Legacy of Kain: Blood Ome ... GameCube	B+
	BloodRayne 2 Xbox	B-
	Castlevania: Aria of Sorr ... GBA	A
	BloodRayne Xbox	D+
	Castlevania: The Dracula ... PSP	B
	Legacy of Kain: Soul Reav ... PlayStation 2	B-
	Castlevania: Bloodlines Genesis	A-

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The Grinch

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PlayStation Review

The Grinch

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