Big news, everybody! For the first time since July of last year, Nintendo has acknowledged that the Nintendo Entertainment System and Super NES exist. That's right, we're getting more retro games on the Nintendo Switch Online subscription service, including not only titles from those frustratingly ignored consoles, but also the Game Boy. This month brings the 2D shooter Xevious for the NES, Side Pocket on the Super Nintendo and the Game Boy versions of both BurgerTime Deluxe and Kirby's Dream Land 2. That's exciting news, but are any of these games actually worth playing? To answer that question, I decided to flip through the pages of Electronic Gaming Monthly, Super Play, Nintendo Power and more classic magazines to see what critics said about these games when they first came out. Well, all of them except for Xevious, which came out right before most magazine started scoring reviews. So, go, grab your favorite pool cue and a side of fries, because it's time for an episode of Nintendo Switch Online Review Crew that definitely sucks ... on purpose.


When the Game Boy was first released, gamers around the world hoped that it would be home to a bunch of scaled-down versions of Nintendo Entertainment System games. However, due to its limited hardware, what we ended up getting were a bunch of upgraded arcade games from the early-to-mid 1980s. This includes BurgerTime, the 1982 smash hit from Data East where you help chef Peter Pepper construct some of the biggest hamburgers you'll ever see. It's a simple premise that worked in the early days of the video games industry, but what about in 1991 on the Game Boy?

That depends entirely on what magazine we look at. Mean Machines ended up giving the game a 90%, explaining that “the game starts out easy, but on later levels, the going is really manic and you have to really think to make sure you squash all the ingredients into the burger without getting trapped. If you're after a very jolly platform jape, this is well worth looking out for.”

Nintendo Power, on the other hand, gave the game a 3 out of 5, a much lower score. They were unimpressed with the Challenge and felt that the Game Boy had slightly better than average graphics and play control. And then there's Nintendo Magazine System, which landed somewhere in the middle with 78%. Using the absolute crummiest scan I could find, NMS concluded that this port is “low on graphics but high on playability, BurgerTime is a real laugh, although it does get very repetitive after the first few levels.” Let's be honest, this is going to be a criticism you could level against any arcade game from the early 1980s. It was a very repetitive time.

The problem with bringing classic sports games to modern consoles is that there are usually teams, players, leagues and maybe even a coach who needs to be paid before the fun can start. Thankfully, that's not the case when it comes to pool, allowing Data East to bring us Side Pocket without changing a single thing. While not as exciting as football or hard-hitting as hockey, this billiards simulator is easy to pick up and offers a surprisingly awesome soundtrack full of chill tunes. But were the critics into it? That's the real question.

As it turns out, the answer is “yes” ... for the most part. GamePro gave Side Pocket a strong 4 out of 5 in their February 1994 issue. “Side Pocket is a great game for pool enthusiasts and casual video game pool players alike. There are plenty of great options and genuine pool strategies to keep serious players interested, and yet it's simple enough to play without the manual. Whether you're slick with a stick or a fool at pool, you'll enjoy Side Pocket.”

The British press also seemed to be into a good game of billiards, as SNES Force gave the game a solid 7 out of 10. Super Play, on the other hand, gave it an 86%, the highest score I could find for Side Pocket. Not only did they praise the accessible gameplay and longevity, but they also loved the chill soundtrack: “Did I mention that great selection of cocktail lounge tunes? Well, I should have done. There. I'm mentioning them now. And Side Pocket is even better because of them. Consider it and prepare to be tempted.”

When it comes to the lowest score, we once again turn our heads to Nintendo Power. Giving the game a 2.9 out of 5, the magazine complained that there are “fewer pool games included than in Championship Pool.” That said, they said that the “control is easy and precise” and “the trick shooting option is challenging.” Still, that score isn't exactly a ringing endorsement. See who you agree with when you cue up Side Pocket and its chill soundtrack.

I sure hope you took the time to complete Kirby's Dream Land last month when Nintendo released it with the big wave of Game Boy games, because everybody's favorite super sucker is back for an even better sequel. Released three years after the 1992 original, this is yet another masterfully crafted side-scrolling platformer from HAL Laboratory. This game picks up from where Kirby's Adventure left off, adding three new animal friends to help Kirby defeat King Dedede and the evil Dark Matter. I like this sequel better, but what did the critics say?

Most of the magazine reviews fell into two camps – they either loved the game or thought it was just okay. With an average score of 7.6 out of 10, Electronic Gaming Monthly did both in a single issue. Ed, who loved the original, concluded that this sequel is even better: “The graphics are the best you can expect on the Game Boy and the control is top-notch. There is a lot of technique to Kirby's Dreamland 2. Hardcore gamers shouldn't pass this one up.” Sushi-X, on the other hand, warmed up to Kirby, but only gave it a 7 out of 10: “Okay, I guess I'm just a softy for the little cream puff, Kirby. I actually got into this game, believe it or not. I guess old Sushi may have to re-evaluate his stance on the Game Boy.”

Speaking of things you might not believe, Nintendo Power gave Kirby's Dream Land 2 a very similar score, with a 3.8 out of 5. That's surprisingly low for a Nintendo-published game. GamePro went the opposite direction, giving the game a stellar 4.5 out of 5. This is exactly the kind of game they love. “If you've been waiting for more easy-going, easy-to-beat Kirby charm, your wait is over. While not everything is new in Dream Land 2, everything is definitely fun.”

And I guess that brings us, once again, to this infamous Game Players review. If you watched our recap of Kirby's first game, then you'll already know that a Game Players editor was incredibly confused when they reviewed the original Dream Land. I'm bringing that review back for Dream Land 2, because I'm pretty sure that's the game actually being reviewed: “After two 16-bit titles, Kirby's making his way back to handhelds with Kirby's Dream Land. Kirby's uncanny hoover-like ability to suck up enemies and spit them out as weapons is original, however, that is the only original thing in this game. It's Mario, but instead of jumping on heads, you suck and blow. There's nothing spectacular or fancy here – it's just fun.” While that review definitely fits better when talking about Kirby's Dream Land 2, I still can't get over how they never once spelled the name correctly and attributed the game to Rare. Man, I hate this review so much. Thankfully, I don't hate Kirby's Dream Land 2, which you can play right now on the Switch.