It's important to know your limits!
There were a lot of things I missed by not going to E3 this year. I wasn't able to catch-up with colleagues, wait in long lines to see new hardware or pay five dollars for bottled water. Worst of all, I wasn't able to pick up any of the highly collectable video game swag. From t-shirts to posters to inflatable surf boards, every game company has their own line of doodad and knickknack.
Thankfully I thought ahead. I tasked my parents with tracking down the coolest collectable at the show. I specifically told them not to bring home any t-shirts or water bottles; I already have more than enough of those. I wanted something original, something that would make everybody in the neighborhood jealous.
After staying quiet for much of the show, my parents informed me that they found the perfect E3 collectable in the final hours of the final day. That's cutting it a little close for comfort, but it sounded like it worked out in the end. I patiently waited for my goodie-bag to show up, tracking the FedEx package as it made its journey from southern California to the Pacific Northwest.
I will not accept any more game shirts, I have too many as it is!
My eyes were filled with visions of game demos, cool hats, game system faceplates and more. What glorious piece of E3 was hurdling its way towards my house?
This morning my wait came to an end. There standing in front of my door was a large FedEx employee hiding behind an even larger package. He had me sign his pad and he brought up two additional packages, weighing close to twenty pounds each. I was baffled. Here I was expecting an E3 bag and a hat, not the very foundation E3 sits on. What did my parents send me?
I rip open the box and discover ... a water cooler. Believe me when I tell you that I spent the next half hour staring
They wanted to get me something practical: Mission accomplished!
at this four foot tall machine. My mouth agape, my eyes wide open and my brain working overtime. Never have I been this confused. I quickly open the other two boxes and unearth two large jugs of, you guessed it, water. It's a set, they all go together.
I rush to my phone and call my mom. What is this water cooler and why did you send it to me? "We wanted to get you a one-of-a-kind trinket at E3," she explains. "Why get you a shirt or poster when we can give you something practical, something you don't already have." I'll give her that, this is a completely original gift. And apparently they had to sneak it out of the convention center on the final day. I wouldn't be surprised if my folks aren't invited back next year.
Although a bit unorthodox, I have been enjoying my E3 collectable. I'm told that this specific unit was found in the media room, which means that people like Jeff Gerstmann, Kyle Orland and Adam Sessler quenched their thirst with this very machine. Given that kind of history, I can only expect my own craft to go from astonishingly bad to mildly tolerable. Already I can feel the power from this water cooler ... and I haven't even plugged it in yet.
Some people come back from E3 with postcards they never look at, magazines they never read and business cards they throw away. Not me. This year I came away from E3 with an authentic water cooler. What did you bring home?
