The reason we're tackling gamerpics is because I really don't want to know what your case mod says about you!
This week Microsoft is celebrating the fifth year of their popular Xbox Live service. To help ring in this important anniversary, Microsoft has decided to announce a new download service for original Xbox games, give away a free game to Xbox Live subscribers, and upload their 100th Xbox Live Arcade game (see:
The Great Microsoft Anniversary Snub. While it's hardly the most exciting party on the planet, it's clear that Microsoft is trying to ring in this birthday with style.
Because we felt that Microsoft needed some of our help, Defunct Games has decided to celebrate the one anniversary that nobody seems to be talking about. I'm of course talking about the Xbox 360, which is celebrating its second birthday this month. In a lot of ways the Xbox 360 was the system that turned the good Xbox Live service into something truly amazing. One of the ways they did this was by giving every Xbox Live subscriber a gamercard where they could track their achievements, look at their reputation and post their own gamerpic (many of which you have to pay for). If you've played online with an Xbox 360 then chances are you have seen hundreds (if not thousands) of gamerpics, so that got us to wonder: What does your gamerpic say about you? We felt that this was an important enough question, so we've decided to show you 22 real gamerpics that make a statement about the kind of person you are.
You're that douche bag that still thinks it's funny to imitate Borat ... even though everybody in the world has already gotten it out of their system.
You really don't mind the fact the fact that you're paying a monthly fee to have an advertisement for a bad tasting soft drink on your gamercard.
You're the kind of Heroes fanboy that you still promote your favorite NBC show even though everybody agrees that the second season is practically unwatchable.
You're the kind of guy who doesn't mind paying for the same gamerpic every year, even if it never changes.
You decided to let your kid brother take over your Xbox 360 account.
You're the kind of guy that likes a little mystery in his gamerpic. Or maybe you can make heads or tails of what this picture is supposed to be.
You have abysmal taste in movies (all movies)!
You're the one guy who couldn't get enough of the dreadful Xbox Live Arcade game, Yaris.
You're the kind of guy who would rather spend real money on fake video game content than actually earn it.
You really will buy anything if given the chances, won't you?
Despite what your gamerpic says, you really don't intend to do anything amazing.
You're the kind of sexist pig who will never have a girlfriend and doesn't mind looking at big breasted animal women. You're a sick pervert, that's what you are.
That you not only like large abbreviations for terribly unfunny shows, but you also don't mind that your gamercard has a TV rating on it.
You enjoy the Sonic the Hedgehog games ... but you would rather have some human character represent you than a silly blue hedgehog.
You want your Xbox 360 gamerpic to be generic so that nobody will know what it is (because nobody actually played Vampire Rain).
You really like those Penny Arcade guys ... but you don't want to have anything to do with all that artwork.
You want everybody to know that you're a badass teenager who listens to heavy metal music, rebels against his parents and has ever cried once. Not even one time.
You are one of those morons who actually believe that you'll get the busty babes if you spray Axe all over yourself.
You're the one person that still thinks that the creepy young girl cliche is scary.
You're a huge fan of the Tomb Raider series, but in the back of your mind you are kind of sick of Lara Croft.
You don't mind that it's December 16 and not June 8th, because you agree with People Magazine when they named Matt Damon the sexiest man in the world.
Maybe, just maybe, it's time you stop doing drugs and put down those violent video games. No seriously, put down the drugs and drop the control!
